Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy XI is the eleventh numbered installment in the… Okay, you know what it is, I’m just going to tell you about one of the storylines!
During the Wings of the Goddess expansion, adventurers will be sent back in time to experience the events of the Crystal War, a cataclysmic event that is the foundation for conflicts of the modern-day timeline. Should an adventurer choose to serve the Kingdom of San d’Oria, they will be immersed in the story of the Young Griffons—a group of children who would see themselves knights, many of whom grow into prominent characters later in life.
Among the Young Griffons, the player will find Bistillot, a shy boy who doesn’t like to be seen. With his penchant for engineering, shy demeanor, and lack of combat potential, Bistillot prefers to spend his time inside of an orcish war machine that he was able to repair to working condition.
He is often seen before he is heard, with his signature phrase, “HAAAALLOOOOOOOOO” being used to hail the adventurer. Through the course of the story, Bistillot finds his way, even contributing to the war effort with his engineering skills.
However, when another member of the Young Griffons is kidnapped and taken to the present day, the adventurer must return to the present day and reunite with the Young Griffons’ present selves! The adventurer’s first contact in the present day is Bistillot. When the adventurer hears the signature “HAAAALLOOOOOOO,” Bistillot approaches the player, but what the player sees is… a woman?? She introduces herself as Bostilette, a “friend of Bistillot.”
After the rescue mission, Bostilette comes clean. She is, of course, the very same Bistillot who was a little boy twenty years earlier. She explains that she was very sick as a baby, so her parents gave her a boy’s name so that she would be stronger and survive the illness. Once she overcame the illness, she was comfortable to reclaim her name and gender. Well, that closes the book on that story, except… I’ve decided that’s bullshit!
I have unilaterally decided that Bostilette is trans, the sickness she had was dysphoria, she stayed in the orcish war machine because she was an egg, and I hope you all agree!
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[venting, advice wanted] For the last two months, I been putting up an old friend from a punk house since I moved into my house and couldn't leave out my lease. This friend has a lot of energy and motivation issues, and generally needs a lot of support. Beyond putting him up, I helped him leave out the punk house we used to live in that was getting evicted, got him a storage unit, and have helped out with about an errand a week. I was the first person he saw when he woke up from top surgery. I thought we were tight.
I asked him if he would help me clean out the apartment since I had been putting him up and he basically shrugged me off. On top of that, now he's trying to change the timeline for getting out, but I need to do it this weekend when I am off work otherwise it will never get done. He knows this and we discussed it weeks ago.
Thankfully, some friends have agreed to put him up for a week as an 'off ramp' but it still feels like I am evicting him sort of.
I feel shitty because he don't have a real place to go in the city. At the same time, I have done as much as I can with the energy and time I have available. It also feels shitty that we would probably be better friends right now if I had just left him on the street.
Some help sensemaking is appreciated right now.
you're not his parent and can only do so much to work with somebody to help them improve; this is not to say you have no obligations to anybody, but an understanding this is supposed to be an equal dynamic of mutally supportive friends than one of a parent. having been that kind of person your friend is in my past, it's hard to work up the motivation to want to change yourself knowing how much work it is, but you can't improve if you yourself don't have the drive to do so. you've clearly put a lot of time, love, and effort into this friend and providing them a safe environment; but at a point you seem like you're starting to drain yourself in a way that is not condusive to your life, or his. it can be hard to have this tension or guilt of 'not doing enough' to help somebody out of the mental pit, but you can only do so much and need to draw your own boundaries when things truly start to become too much
At some point for your friend to actually get better (whatever that means for him), he's going to need to want to change. Why would he right now? He's got everything he could want. He wants to change the timeline because he wants to stay longer because you do a lot for him and he doesn't want to figure out a new support system.
So long as we live in the system we do, he will need earn money or to be a decent housemate if he wants a place to live. There's only so long people will tolerate someone who is sort of just an asshole as a tenant/housemate. It is wrong to not to do something like helping with cleaning and expect to be treated like someone's precious child, or to seek supports or a job.
This kind of deep depression is a very selfish mental illness. It makes people selfish and it sucks to admit, their world shrinks down to a very narrow horizon to just themsleves and not even their own personal care like their own hygeine (e.g. brushing teeth, showering, eating healthy). It sucks to watch someone do this when you're on the outside, because the steps needed are so actionable and clear (from outside). Some people figure it out while being shown some grace, some people figure it out after consequences are imminent or happening, some people don't and it takes a long time if ever.
Don't light yourself on fire keeping someone else warm