hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
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crushposting, sad? Idk
Talked to new crush yesterday, learned new crush's name (I know, I know, we'd only ran into each other three(?) times making small talk before)
Realistically given the circumstances I don't see how this goes anywhere and I feel fuckin' stupid and embarrassed to have developed as strong of an infatuation with someone new this quickly and I feel juvenile and foolish for it and idk why but I'm kinda being a bitch to myself mentally about it and it's bumming me out
I'm doing the loser thing of "cute person is nice to me a couple times! (Imagines life together)" and that's pathetic and weird and just makes me feel hypothetically bad for the person to figure out my sad bullshit unrequited feelings for them
I wracked my brain trying to think of what it was that's making me feel so weirdly strong towards them, and realized it's a combination of "they remind me of my first love" and "we met and see each other somewhere that's a refuge from the stressful bullshit everywhere else in my life"
Even if I know I haven't acted weird or done anything outside of just being friendly and socially acceptable when we've spoken, I'm like mortified that crush is on to me and it'd be weird
I feel embarrassed of who I am and where I am in life, and even if we might be compatible, it feels unfair to crush to have a weirdo loser like me be infatuated with them
Idk sorry
Just felt bad about it yesterday and ruminating on it just made me feel viscerally lonely and angry at myself for being in a shitty state in life
In another timeline this could be really sweet and cute and I feel like I could be a really loving and supportive partner but I just feel gross and ashamed for even abstractly bothering someone kind and gorgeous by developing feelings for them
Why am I like this aaaaaa
try not to bully yourself about it:( i know it's a hard habit to break but being mean to yourself is no good. you're not pathetic or weird or a loser for having very common human feelings.
I guess part of it is that I don't really have any meaningful irl relationships right now in general and I feel silly for mentally latching onto this one person as much as I have given how little has actually occurred between us
I guess I'm just really lonely and feeling that acutely makes overemphasizing the crush mentally feel more pathetic in my head
Idk I look forward to seeing them though and it's been all positive so far
"silly" is allowed hehe. your feelings are valid, just try to be mindful about shitting on yourself for them using actually mean words. it's not a healthy habit to build. you wouldn't talk about another person in your position that way, try to be at least as nice to yourself.
This is key (and the hardest sometimes)
i know it's really a struggle, I've been there many times. it's just something i always have to call comrades out on, like be nicer to yourself grrr
In a similar situation. I fall in love so easily and I just don’t have the restraint to not act on it*. Personally I think it’s cute though.
*Act on it just means being slightly flirtatious
God their hair and smile are SO cute and they wore super cool adorable little boots yesterday
Moar crushposting!!!
My crush also has beautiful hair and cute face and they’re super creative which I loove
They have a really cool sense of style
We haven't talked about it yet but I bet they like cool music and have some similar tastes
Idk if they're already in a relationship or if they've been kinda flirty and I'm oblivious or they're just a really warm and friendly person to everyone normally? Kinda smitten though and feeling foolish, like I've known this person for like a week and I keep thinking of them at odd times
Last time this happened, the last person and I went in a couple dates but stayed in a weird "mostly platonic but kinda a couple zone" for months before it fizzled out and they saw someone else and aaaaaa
I feel like I'd rather find out if nothing's gonna come of this sooner rather than later
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