This holiday season, shut the fuck up about how much you hate pumpkin spice lol
TFW you sit down to enjoy a juicy heterosexual hamburger, but when you lift it to your mouth the buns turn into to your buddy's and next thing you know you're eating another man's asshole
shoving things down your throat and then swallowing, and then it hangs out INSIDE YOU before going out your butthole
food is the gay agenda OMG!!!
Lemme tell you, I am a HOUND for some roasted pumpkin seeds. Not the store bought shit, that is oversalted to hell. Get some nice savory spice blends going on some freshly scooped seeds, throw them in the over for a spell, and you have some good snacking. I just tend to eat so many at once that they rip up my insides.
I tell my children that I buy a few pumpkins every year because I enjoy decorating them for Halloween, and delivering them to the Grandmas' houses. It's a lie. I just want those sweet, sweet pumpkin guts. The flesh gets turned into pies and cake rolls, and the seeds get roasted and eaten so fast I burn my mouth.
Rosé is the bomb. I have tried to steer away from the wine world since it is full of snobs and petit bourgeois, but i really enjoy a good french rose any day.
It's not just limited to food. People get very mad whenever women (especially teenage girls) enjoy something or "invade" a male dominated hobby.
Western society absolutely haaaates teenage girls. The energy that almost every piece of media gives teenage girls by default is the same energy that SNL gives to Donald Trump. Just a thing veneer of comedy barely masking utter contempt
The "haha boys quirky, girls lame" meme reflects this attitude pretty succinctly and I genuinely hate that meme format.
A bunch of hobbies that were originally pioneered by and are still supported by women, too. Brewing, coding, chess
That's definitely one aspect of it but also people also see women doing a "male" hobby as "not genuine". There definitely is a subset of men who want their hobby to be a "no girls allowed" zone so they see any women doing it as invasive.
and you have the unintentionally funny grown men who pride themselves on being too sophisticated to get the appeal of music and media targetted at teenage girls
A couple women: [enjoying thing]
Capital: Hey ladies! [thing] amirite? You know what would be great? What if we made everything into [thing]! Give us your money for more [thing] merch, flavors, spin-offs, NFTs, and we'll even sell it to you in pink! Cool right? Pink!
Men: ew, fuck [thing]
Capital: why would women ruin [thing] like that???
Always did love the industry attempts to make certain foods manly
Like when Taco Bell did the Loaded Taco Salad (it's got more meat to keep you from being gay!) or when they had all those 10 calorie sodas (men need calories to keep from going gay!) or my personal favorite, when Burger King tried to say that the Whopper was big because Real Men have big hands and need a big burger for big eating
I mean, clearly it didn't work that well because I'm queer as a three-dollar bill and have dainty princess hands
truly the most heterosexual sounding thing is to eat a big piece of meat
which given how cheap that meat is might actually contain chemicals that make you gay
When men buy into food trends, they bring much-needed attention and success to what they’re consuming. Some sommeliers rolled their eyes after Sideways made male wine drinkers everywhere drop their Merlots for Pinot Noirs, but nobody was accusing Pinot Noir of overstaying its welcome.
And when men get into women’s trends, they elevate and legitimize them—or even create an entirely new market. Male rosé drinkers have transformed it from a wine “seen by serious wine drinkers as cloying, mass-produced swill, an object of revulsion and gendered disdain,” as GQ wrote, into something men are happy to be seen drinking.
Yogurt, a neutral food if ever there were one, went from being feminized to being marketed as protein-rich workout fuel for men. And of course men don’t diet—they “biohack”.
You’ve never heard of biohacking or dudes who got into Pinot Noirs because of Sideways? It’s a whole thing.
I’d say you were missing out, but that movie is pretty bad. Kinda worth it for Paul Giamatti being an anxious mess.
It’s a movie about two middle aged white guys going on a wine trip in Nappa valley, trying to manipulate women, and being huge bourgeoisie pieces of shit.
Men predictably loved it when it came out and older guys I know have unironically recommended it to me.
There's no need to gender wines when we should all be ganging up on wine nerds equally.
Not only is wine yucky but it ALSO is really expensive. Vodka is the yummy drink of the proletariat and if you think otherwise you're a class traitor sorry I don't make the rules
but it ALSO is really expensive
Homie no I don’t spend more than $10-$20 on a bottle pretty much ever.
Box wine from pharmacies are unironically pretty good often. Like, there are misses but you learn around them. Typically I avoid sweeter wines as they tend to overdo it.
Poor people have been drinking wine for thousands of years, wtf are you talking about.
Also good wine is not expensive at all, you gotta drink better stuff if you think all wine is universally bad
The "two buck Chuck" (three bucks if you're not in California) is absolutely a perfectly good wine, and anything more expensive is only for special occasions. The nicer box wines are also perfectly good at $20 a box, which is about $5 a bottle.
Someone on here suggested vodka with liquid smoke added and it’s pretty good.
Coming from someone who's alcohol of choice is vodka there are so many wines that beat vodka in the flavor department.
It’s good with food. Also mulled wine.
Wine hangovers are sooooo bad though, you’re right.
Yogurt, a neutral food if ever there were one, went from being feminized to being marketed as protein-rich workout fuel for men. And of course men don’t diet—they “biohack”.
I'm glad I've never gone deep enough into the fitness rabbit hole to ever hear the term "biohack":cringe:
It's not a fitness term, it's a Silicon Valley term. It's a weird mix of recognizing that they spend too much time indoors and need vitamins, and trying to replace eight hours of sleep with sixty micronaps per day. It's all about "hacking" the body's natural processes to increase productivity. Some turned microdosing from a fun activity to a "creativity-booster" so they can :monke-beepboop: better code.
They do this because cocaine is not in vogue in Silicon Valley and because Silicon Valley loves to try to reinvent shit that we knew a thousand years ago.
“this yogurt looks like cum. I must not think about cum. Cum is the man killer.”
Death to gender.
:hexbear-agender:
yogurt is the little death that looks like the other little death
I fucking love yogurt more than anyone else, and I'm not a woman.
...I don't think I am, at least.
Coconut yogurt + muesli + maple syrup = my workday breakfast.
It's so good with savory stuff too, like I'll put that on smoked salmon. Omgggg
ohh wow, that is unorthodox to us. Traditionally it's a refreshing summer lunch, best with berries and cream.
Yeah I figured it was weird - I never saw anybody else do that but like, it ends up tasting something like cream cheese and lox, except it's not as rich as cream cheese. Good way to replace a bunch of bread and cream cheese with more of a protein source.
Sometimes I would also put some dark red berry preserves in there as well, like something a bit bitter but also semi sweet. Fruit on meat is underrated
i'm curious if the brand you buy is flavoured somehow because the pure product without any flavourings or sweeteners is quite sour.
I don't use one with sweeteners for that, and it's plain, and pretty sour.
It doesn't taste like cream cheese really, it just goes together in a similar way.
Could be some bastardized weak shit for all I know though
no it sounds like the real thing, guess I have to taste it myself some day :)
nice. normal smoked salmon was good but cured smoked salmon went even better with it
Im so happy I'm a communist. Lib and chud men have to spend so much energy getting mad at dumb shit and constantly being insecure about their masculinity. Seems exhausting
Lib and chud men have to spend so much energy getting mad at dumb shit
:side-eye-1:
:side-eye-2:
The things we, or at least I, get mad at aren't dumb though, for the most part
If you’re so proud big boy let’s see that hog
(I know they’re banned but it’s too funny to pass up)
pumpkin spice isn't a thing here, but isn't it just the same spices used for mulling booze? like cinnamon and cloves and shit?
In college I made a lot of the punches for our frat and one of my two signature drinks was a fall punch I made every halloweekend. It’s really just a healthy mix of apple cider, ginger ale, and jim beam but the trick is to preheat the cider before hand on the stove and add the extra fall spices to make it pumpkin spiced. Also using a hollowed out pumpkin as a container and tossing in some dry ice for effect helps. Frat dudes love that shit so it was always baffling to hear them talk shit on pumpkin spice lattes like I didn’t just serve us all pumpkin spiced punch
by cider did you use the alcoholic drink, or the thick brown liquid kind?
The non-alcoholic kind. You’re looking for equal parts cider to bourbon so you don’t want it to be alcoholic too
It's 2:1 allspice and cinnamon, and optionally some other spices in small amounts (at least that's how I make my pumpkin spice coffee).
My favorite coffee shops use pumpkin purée, which makes the drink more creamy / malty.
I mean maybe, but almost every flavor in the US is immensely sweetened and american hogs love their sugar. Pretty sure there are some other factors going on there…
I listened to a radio piece once where spice industry reps claimed that pumpkin spice had to be purchased premixed to the perfect ratios by their nerds, otherwise it just isn't pumpkin spice.
I wonder if that helped radicalize me further lol
ive only elevated food a handful of times. I felt a lot better after it had all come up, but I avoided those foods for years after.
Kinda related, remember all that nonsense about insecure men being terrified of Burger King's veggie burger turning them into women because it had estrogen or something
And with meat it’s mammal estrogen too, which actually does get processed by the human body lol
It is once again sexual pathology. Men hate young women because they realize that they want them as objects so they have to ritually deny their symbols of personhood.
Not like the comrades here but Men™ in the world. Although, I am sure we all had emotions we have had to do self crit on to overcome.
Bullseye. Sexist men resent that they cannot outright own women and trying to degrade them gives those men a sense of control, even if it’s not based in reality.
Everyone has internalized patriarchy. Working through it is fine, acting on it is bullshit.
I would say that it's more patriarchy fundamentally denies women full personhood. I don't really like going down the "men are bad" route because it leans too much into the "personal responsibility" thinking but it is definitely true that a lot of men reinforce the patriarchy.
Yeah, I don’t think men are bad. I do think a lot of them are conditioned to behave in a way that is very damaging to themselves and those around them.
I mean, we were all libs once. As a young man I had to unlearn a bunch of emltions related to that myself. It is very much part of both the base and thr superstructure or however the math works
Pumpkin spice + pumpkin lates + pumpkin bread + pumpkin pasta sauce + roasted pumpkin.
Seasonal foods are lovely
Seasonal foods are lovely
My God, when I started paying attention to seasonality I started eating SUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD HOLY SHIT
I overpumpkinned myself a bit when i was growing these things (which i highly recommend, they're such a fun vegetable to grow, just brings joy to see them sprawl and vine and get massive), so i don't eat much pumpkin these days. But i baked one for halloween and it was wonderful.
This thread is golden and I got a post about pumpkin spice lattes onto the front page.
There's also a factor of people hating on popular things because they're popular. Sometimes a particular food becomes associated with a specific stereotype, and people avoid the food because they don't want to be associated with said stereotype. Sexism is definitely a factor, but there are also just curmudgeons who hate it when people enjoy things. That said, it definitely took a while for the "Bacon as an identity" thing to pass whereas the reaction against pumpkin spice lattes was pretty much immediate, I think first heard about them in the context of people hating on them.
In any case, pumpkin spice lattes are delicious and many popular or "basic" things are popular because they're good. Enjoying basic stuff is good and often goes hand in hand with touching grass. Your food doesn't need to contain seven layers of irony for you to eat it.
