OK, now I’m willing to entertain vaccine conspiracy theories
Unironically this shit is probably a USA bioweapon lmao
At this point I don't care, I just want the hemorrhaging to stop.
US General Chudd MacArthur recommends a separate vaccine serum for "far-left anarcho socialists" due to their increased susceptibility to the rising ligma strain.
:horror:
my conspiracy theory is that it's literally just harmless water and a few chemicals that help when you get the virus, and that none of them are real vaccines
Based Amerikkkan army putting their own imperialist soldiers in danger with fake vaccines.
no the point is that it's the opposite of other theories don't bundle my theory in with the others noooo
He will never become anti-vaxx — :cereal1:
US Army Creates Single Vaccine Effective Against All COVID, SARS Variants :cereal2:
Spike Ferritin Nanoparticle COVID-19 vaccine
We have kinetically assertained a nanoparticle style liquid phase tactical vaccine to compromise the virus to a permanent end
Unlike existing vaccines, Walter Reed’s SpFN uses a soccer ball-shaped protein with 24 faces for its vaccine, which allows scientists to attach the spikes of multiple coronavirus strains on different faces of the protein.
Oh, so it's only "effective against all variants" in the sense that you can update it when new variants arise. How is this supposed to be better than current vaccines?
We have kinetically assertained a nanoparticle style liquid phase tactical vaccine to compromise the virus to a permanent end
with extreme prejudice
America has compromised Covid to a permanent end
Woops, no, got that backwards
Now you only gotta have Marines sit still for one jab instead of 24, gives them more time to eat crayons and murder the children they stole them from
if the recipe was publicly available it could probably be used to help contain future novel coronaviruses
I guess in some crazy fucking scenario where we're getting like a variant every week or something, it would technically have the lead because it's updates can have more data attached to it... i think?
like installing windows on one DVD instead of 6 CD's type of thing idk
Eh, just give me the fucking shot. I'll take any injectable medicine.
:crazy-frog-trans:
god please let the vaccine be feminizing if this prayer works I will become a devotee
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
edit: I am now following Liberation Theology. Thank you all for helping me along my path to God
edit 2: I just realized that masculine-identifying people may be caused dysphoria by this. I am now a satanist.
I really want it not to be. I know this is a joke but if it was real, I would lose my gender. Gender dysphoria is not something I would wish on anyone.
yeah i pointed this out later, sorry
i wish there was some kind of voluntary magical feminizing solution or something though
edit: I may not be cis :oh-shit:
:trans-hatch: Do you wish we could all be like Data's daughter? :data-outdoor-cat: https://youtu.be/Rt5qiYFdMnk
okay so I guess star trek is much cooler than I thought
yes, if only in a logical/theory based sense
some Jarhead goes up to the Vaccine soad fountain and pours some out from every dispenser until he has a big gulp of brown-green bubbling PfizerSputnikJohnson that has skull shaped clouds floating out of it.
Nah, he forgot to mention how the jarhead has one of the most well sculpted asses on the planet or of the sicko soda jerk in the corner.
Also if this shit works then it just underlines how fucking spooky the USA is :agony-shivering: Imagine what kind of weird ass technology they are hiding from the plebs
They have that much power and wealth because it's all stolen in the first place. Ideally all the people of Earth would be like, collaborating on problems like this.
Imagine what kind of weird ass technology they are hiding from the plebs
I believed this thirty years ago. Today?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651
I imagine Pentagon R&D is absolutely overflowing with this garbage.
"Shit, our bioweapon experiment might actually affect our wealth, and it's doing absolutely nothing to China, better release the emergency cure!"
This may be the only way to get the far right to get the vaccine. Tell them it’s army tough and play up the troop BS
Nope the real army is in space fighting the posadist space aliens, along side Trump and the good guy aliens. The army we see is controlled by the deep state sjws to super-accelerate the white genocide plan before Trump wins the space war and descends to save us real Americans from the satanic communist deep state pedophile pizza eating democratic party
I haven't had a pizza in almost a month, throw the pedos in a hole or something and you got yourself a deal.
Alternatively they’ll think this vaccine was developed directly by the deep state and start blowing up vaccine clinics
Cuba and China have been working on something similar.
Think UK and possibly others were researching into this avenue too.
Thank god, it would be terrifying if America was the only one with these miracle vaccines.
Yeah I'm a dumb guy and science reporting is usually sensational bullshit. I was kinda hoping someone would tell me if it's real
"US Army Create Mtn Dew Code Red flavored COVID Vaccination Paste, Effective Against All Variants"
The only way to win.
Wow the Chinese will believe anything their government tells them
:so-true:
Uhhh, this exact situation is true about the Common Cold, if this is possible why haven't we created a silver bullet vaccine against that?
human trials already? what did they change from the previous mrna vaccine, is this an mrna vaccine variant
i mean them functionally having a bunch of us army slaves to test vaccines on definitely makes the whole science process faster.
