I know it's just compulsive attention-seeking by a very sad, lonely manchild but still, lol. Lmao even.
Doughy computer boy versus grizzled former special services roided out old man. Hottest ppv of the year
It would be fucking amazing to watch :melon-musk: get Lowtax'd.
calling him a doughy computer boy is itself too complimentary as he doesn't know shit about technology.
doughy delusional fantasist vs practiced and in shape martial artist
No, he has some technical training. His code is apparently unnecessarily abstruse and unreadable, but apparently he can code.
Like Real Steven Seagall fighting the Stephen Seagall of his own imagination-a bloodbath
What a MF does when his babymama starts dating Chelesa Manning instead.
Putin has a black belt in Taekwon-Do my money is not on Musk here
Yeah, watching :melon-musk: get the shit beat out of him by a 69 year old man would be one of the highlights of my life
Putin is a black belt in Judo, he'd twist Musk-Man into a pretzel and eat him alive. I'd love to see it.
Yeah, but the world federation took his black belt so he had to respec into ranged DPS.
Putin is a black belt in Judo
I suddenly pictured Putin as the main antagonist of a Yakuza game and I could 100% see it being real
"Kiryu, the invasion of Ukraine was merely a ruse to draw you out. The Russian Federation's true interest is in seeing the supremacy of the Japanese underworld solely in the hands of the Omi Alliance. As we speak, thousands of Omi ground troops are swarming the Tojo clan headquarters, and soon there will be no other yakuza in Japan who do not answer to Osaka."
Rips off 3 piece suit in a single tug, revealing badass, intricate back tattoo of a bear
"But the Tojo clan can not fall so long as you stand, Kiryu Kazuma-san; which is why I must see to it personally that you must die."
Kiryu wordlessly accepts Putin's challenge, throwing off his suit jacket and shirt in a single tug
"The Dragon of Dojima can not survive the wrath of the motherland!"
Both charge forward, fists raised, punching each other in the head at the same time
VLADIMIR PUTIN
PRESIDENT OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION
No I would just have someone shoot him if he was serious about fighting.
Either that or we’d drink and feast together. I haven’t seen Elon since last year’s Davos.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm not enjoying this bit account at all. The Neera one is so obviously ghoulish it works, but this "Putin is the new Chuck Norris" has that weird energy where the irony doesn't quite work as an effective condemnation.
Breaking the bit:
Putin is not the new Chuck Norris. He’s a right-wing capitalist who helped coup the remnants of the USSR’s government.
Intent of this account is to show that Putin is a fucking ghoul and not someone to cheer for. This is admittedly difficult when:
-
Ukraine is currently swarming with fucking nazis who are being actively trained and equipped by NATO.
-
Most western critique/ satire of Putin is based in warmongering, homophobia/transphobia (unacceptable), or state department propaganda.
Leftists must remember that both Russia and Ukraine are bourgeoisie states being pitted against each other by NATO after 8+ years of failed attempts at peace negotiations. The west should not get involved. The only people to support are the working people of both countries and the remnants of the People’s Republics, such that they are.
Regardless, a full collapse of Russia would create something even worse than Putin and be a complete disaster. It would also remove a vital trading partner for most AES projects and further damage their efforts. Again, I am not saying the Russian Federation is socialist, it just inherited many of those trade relationships.
I edited the last comment to reflect that, thank you for the feedback that I needed to tighten that up.
Example of meme I made criticizing Putin: https://hexbear.net/post/180731
RESUMING THE BIT
interbourgeoise wars are akin to ships sinking in that they're just senseless tragedies killing millions of young people for no good reason
-
I remember a few years ago it was literally a meme how tough Putin is. Former KGB agent, black belt in Judo, hell the man looks like he could kill you with his bare hands in less than 20 seconds.
Give me a battle royale between all world leaders and I would bet my money on Putin without a second thought.
Even if none of that shit was true, does anyone even believe that Musk has been in a normal ass fight in his life? Little piss baby carried around daddy's emeralds in his pockets and wants me to think he's tough? I've met 14 year old kids that would fuck him up.
Don't forget all of the rumors about him wrestling grizzly bears as a child... There was even a photoshopped image of Putin riding a bear like a horse that did the rounds. I doubt half of the wild shit I've heard about him is true, but I wouldn't want to wait until I was locked in a cage with the guy to find out which parts were made up.
Dude is probably as physically soft a bureaucrat as anyone else, it's the fact that he is a killer psychologically that makes him dangerous.
Vladimir Putin is at best 5'7. One of my favorite revealing details about him is that he's stacked his cabinet with individuals significantly shorter than him, including Medvedev at 5'4.
I'm not saying Putin is completely unskilled but don't get it twisted: the tough guy badass martial arts master KGB superspy turned world leader IS a carefully constructed and projected piece of propaganda.
Former KGB agent, black belt in Judo, hell the man looks like he could kill you with his bare hands in less than 20 seconds.
I mean, he looks like a 70-year-old man who still hits the gym. Would I start a fight with him? No. Am I terrified of him? Also no. Pretty sure we'd just go down in a pile of limbs scrabbling at each other and the worst injuries would be to our respective dignity.
I'd still take Putin kicking the tar out of Elon 9 times out of 10. But only because Musk's a doughy 50-year-old pot head.
so when :my-hero: loses, putin has free reign to :ukkkraine: ?
The most highly rated MMA fight in history. It would end the entire franchise, as nobody would be able to top it.
I will happily do this if he would like to come to the Kremlin. I promise that I won’t greet him with a firing squad.
Alternatively, he could stop thumping his chest and come over for drinks again like he used to. I haven’t seen Elon since last year’s Davos.
I'm not a fight guy and even if everything said in Putin's bio is bullshit and it was just some one on one random beef in an empty parking lot, I wouldn't mix it up with him. he looks like a stout, mean old man. you couldn't pay me enough to start shit with one of those.
musk would get his hair plugs pulled out by the fist full and it would be fucking gross to watch.
Putin's had military training and was the honorary president of the International Judo Federation until the war started. Musk would have no chance whatsoever lol
Guys tend to get a bit impulsive and reckless when they hear their ex doing well. Under normal circumstances, this would be both cool and good, but sadly this is wack. I would usually throw this under “Dudes Rock”, but billionaires are not “Dudes” and as such they can't rock.
One of the richest, most connected, and most influential people on the planet continues his long midlife crisis.
:jokerfied:
He tweeted this while jacking off to a picture of his other tweets and didn't put that much thought into it
