I’ve been working through all the games my parents never let me play as a kid using emulators. The idea for this post was inspired by blitz: the league. A dark and gritty American football arcade style game. It features steroids, corruption, and to the modern audience disgusting emphasis on dirty hits and injury. The injuries are emphasized through rewarding the player and mortal kombat style xrays.
It is not without humor (sending sex workers to the away team’s hotel before a game is a feature in the sequel iirc). The gameplay is fun enough and it’s really funny how mad the nfl got because despite the deep flaws it correctly pointed out the corruption.
Final score: “hey dude sniff this milk”/10.
On a sort of opposite note I was replaying destroy all humans 2 recently expecting a lot of it to have aged like milk especially the humor (in the case of the insanely racist japan level this is true) but there was this one level in the UK( seriously why is it always the fucking UK) in which there is an individual who wishes to transition into a woman, as soon as I hit that mission I was like, oh boy here we fucking go. Kinda surprised how it turned out, basically you help someone amab transition into a woman, and then her terf ass wife leaves her because she transitioned and crypto is basically like "what a bitch", and it ends. I was only disappointed I didn't get to vaporize the terf, but other than it really stood out to me that crypto didn't ridicule her for being trans at any point and it was borderline supportive, especially when he shits on literally every single other person in the game he interacts with.
Holy shit, this kinda response is like a best case scenario I imagined when making the thread. Thanks.
I spent sooooo many hours on the free demo level for the first one from a magazine disc. I always heard the second was better but based on the humor from the first assumed CHUDSHIT for one set during peak hippy era.
Wholesome/10 let’s use a ray gun to give Brit’s diarrhea
The Austin Powers-ass music that plays every time you use the free love power to make people start dancing lives in my head to this day
Apparently the remake of Destroy All Humans 1 altered Cryptosporidium's lines in the abduction tutorial so he isn't casually making a joke about molesting the humans.
you help someone amab transition into a woman, and then her terf ass wife leaves her because she transitioned and crypto is basically like “what a bitch”, and it ends.
alien dudes rock :posad:
crypto didn’t ridicule her for being trans at any point and it was borderline supportive, especially when he shits on literally every single other person in the game he interacts with.
Chad Cryptosporidium-138?!
Yeah, this game have a really cool gameplay and coop mode. The rest of the game is full of parody jokes about the 60's, Hippies, Japan, Soviet Russia and sex.
The Trotsky joke is funny tho.
The remake of 2 comes out at the end of the month, and I'm a vibrating ball of nostalgia about it.
That CoD game which made ıraq into something good all thanks to US invasion
Edit. It was 2014 CoD advanced warfare, New baghdad
I skipped COD 7-15 (MW reboot is 16?) but yeah that tracks. It’s like brainworms the series. Wasn’t there one where Venezuela gets based enough to conquer the southwest?
Don’t give me any credit. I stole it from Dunkey.
Anyone unfamiliar with Dunkey, please watch his Fortnite daycare videos. Pure wholesome comedy.
The one where the enemy faction using unmanned drones is treated like a big surprise?
I have only ever played cod 4, on a cod4x bots server. It's been the perfect cod experience.
Without a shadow of a doubt GoldenEye. Literally unplayable in modern times without mods.
Hello? Correct opinion department? This person needs a checkmark.
Perfect dark is much better, still unplayable without the Ram pack that you had to use on your n64
I feel you, a position that respects legacy while acknowledging the flaws inherent to being from the era.
Playing the PC port alleviates a lot of that. Theres some good mods/patches to make the camera and controls much better
Super Mario Sunshine stands alone as the best 3d mario game, fludd notwithstanding, it blows my mind how in Galaxy they took out so many of the quicker more agile moves I could do with Mario in Sunshine
Which 3D Mario did you play first? IMO Mario 64 has absolutely perfect controls and every game since has been slightly off, but I have the feeling the one a person thinks is the best depends on the order they played them.
I want to disagree with SM64 but I've played it so much that its little quirks have become second nature.
Starfox though, yeah that's kinda hard to defend. Especially after everything that's come after in that series.
dude that sounds sick a sports manager game where you cheat & lie & play dirty? sign me up!
Need help finding an emulator/setting up? Idk the piracy rules but I don’t exactly care either.
Idk the piracy rules but I don’t exactly care either.
Links encouraged here.
Thanks for letting me know. Need any? I seriously enjoy helping people steal stuff.
:josus-stalin:
Personally I am all good but go ahead and post away for the OP you were responding to!
I’ll respond, but don’t wanna be the guy spamming up with links. Might be rude to assume they aren’t proficient with the high seas. Like, a real phobia of being the ass who tries to explain common knowledge. Despite that being me 100% lmao
Persona 4 for me. Really liked it when i first played it in highschool, but now? can't handle constant homophobia sorry
What's with Japanese media using crossdressing as a punchline, anyways?
The Gerudo part of Breath of the Wild was really uncomfortable for me because of that. I wouldn't have minded so much if it were done remotely tastefully but the whole way it was presented gave me magical realm vibes.
I understand. I never played the game until after accepting myself. It sucks. I how 5 is better when it finally comes to pc. 3 was mostly ok at least.
5 has a few yikes moments but it's not nearly as prevalent as 4
The original Metroid was groundbreaking for its time but the low starting energy, stingy pickup drop rate, and obnoxious enemy patterns quickly turn it from "Wow, there's so much to explore and find!" to "God damnit, not another fucking dead end, I just wanna find Kraid so I can kill him and get out of here already"
Also, Wolfenstein 3D. Another one that shattered barriers, but Doom made it completely obsolete not even 2 years later.
I feel like most NES games aged horribly while the 16-bit era is overflowing with timeless classics.
Wolfenstein 3D is pretty much killed by the shitty controls.
In fact the version of Wolfenstein 3D with the best gameplay is "Wolfstone 3D" which is a game developed by alternate-universe id Software in Nazi-occupied America, found on an arcade machine within Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus. It's the entire game of Wolfenstein 3D reskinned.
You can play it with mouse controls. It's so sick. It plays so well
that's one of the relatively few streams I've watched in full, it honestly looked like a lot of fun even though I had to avert my eyes from the injuries lol
Every game with random battles. When I was a kid it was fine, who cares, you're playing all afternoon anyway - but god damn trying to go back to classic RPGs as an adult is so annoying because 90% of the gameplay is just meaningless filler. Boss fights can be interesting because they often do stuff with the game mechanics that you have to figure out, but mook fights are never interesting in any game, and leveling up feels like a fake game mechanic. "We could design a game where you have to get better at it to progress, but instead we're gonna raise your numbers so that it remains easy throughout" what the fuck man.
Emulators with 4x speed and self imposed challenges like staying at a super low level and beating bosses with speedrunner strats are basically the only way to make these games hold up.
It's a bummer how true this is. The first two Pokémon gens (Pokémon Blue being my first ever non-edutainment game) captured my imagination in an incredible way, but when I've tried to revisit them they've been a complete slog. 4x speed reduces that aspect of it, but it also completely takes me out of the game which defeats the purpose of replaying them--I might as well be doing data entry at that point.
I wish there were a story-driven version of Pokémon Crystal where I could really soak in the setting and music of the games without the grinding and one-dimensional battles.
My two favorite recent Pokemon releases (not including spinoffs) are Let's Go Eevee and Pikachu and Legends Arcaeus precisely because both of them let you dodge random encounters if you want and change the way you catch the 'mon and what you do with them in interesting ways.
I played through a bit of Arceus on Ryujinx, but I didn't actually make it through the full tutorial (and to think some of us complained about the old man in Viridian City teaching us to catch a Weedle!). Maybe I'll pick it back up or check out Let's Go Pikachu for the nostalgia factor. Wonder if there's a mod to replace the new OST with the OG Game Boy OST, or how hard it would be to do myself...I just love those 8-bit bleeps and bloops.
Also, happy cakeday, Super Saiya-jin Marx! Hard to believe it's been over two years since we got booted from :reddit-logo:.
Earthbound was really good about this because it auto-resolved trivial fights. I'd say it was years ahead of it's time, but games still don't do that :shrug-outta-hecks:
The sequel is even better.
Story mode with a Michael Vick proxy that you have to beat in a game of prison rules football to win your freedom after the corrupt commissioner teams up with Lawrence Taylor to frame you for drug use. I think there was also a Tom Brady-alike that you can just tee off of ti.e and time again as well.
Lmao that’s awesome. Tom Brady deflated balls in game? Ngl I’d deflate them balls :volcel-vanguard: :astronaut-1:
Never would have imagined neopets lol. What do you mean by interesting decisions?
I fucking loved darkest faerie I played that game so damn much. Idc if it holds up it still has a special place in my heart.
I've literally never seen or played a Zelda game, which ones are like that
Wind Waker is what I generally recommend to 3D Zelda first-timers. OOT suffers a lot from the weird N64 control inputs not mapping cleanly to modern controllers. And unlike OOT, Wind Waker's art style holds up great 20 years later—doubly so if you emulate the Wii U HD remaster.
everything looks shit and everything plays shit
Mario 3 > Super Mario World, sorry to break it to you.
If you simply don’t want to elucidate….fine. I haven’t played fromsoft outside of 1 and ER. I’ve heard 2 was too easy. I believe it seeing the gameplay. 3 seems like a fashion meta, which is cancer regarding item balance.
it was always fashion souls my dude. armor stats in souls games are a joke lol
:rage-cry: NO I NEED TO MAX DAMAGE ABSORPTION STRAIGHT SWORDS ARE CURRENTLY META SO BUILDING INTO MAX SLASH RESITANCE GETS ME +0.78 EV AT OOLACILE COURT DUELS
:chad: this mask has a funny face, I think I'll wear it
Unfinished game and what's there is super basic in comparison to modern soulslike
It features steroids, corruption, and to the modern audience disgusting emphasis on dirty hits and injury.
This is literally how every large competitive sport works. For one, I appreciate the honesty
Original Supreme Commander. Supreme Commander 2 better.
I last played in on my Xbox years ago actually but I played the first one more recently and it felt more awkward.
I’ve been stuck on the sack the qb tutorial for the last hour. The AI keeps stealing my tackle and if I move them pre snap the pass succeeds. I want to unlock the game mode :(
Sadly the second one (which sounds better in every way) emulates super poorly.
That game was awesome though and gave me one of my favorite multiplayer memories of 1v1ing with my brother and when I realized I didn't need my commander anymore I built a fleet of dummy transports and loaded him into one and flew them all straight into his production/power center shouting "OPERATION DUMBOOOO DROPPPPPPP" and when my commander transport got shot down the ensuing nuclear explosion destroyed so much and resulted in a very pleasing shout of "WHAT THE FUCKK???"
I don't even think I won the game but who cares, I won the battle
I will have to agree. Supcom 2 was ok. But Forged Alliance was as good as it gets.
The marketing set itself up to fail, the streamlining to get an acceptable xbox 360 framerate removed the high unit counts that were the selling point of the Tech Demo Gaem that the first one was.
Mass Effect and Halo; they literally depict a neoliberal space America hundreds of years into the future and the Mass Effect codex actually says "the gap between rich and poor widens daily. Advanced nations have eliminated most genetic disease and pollution. Less fortunate regions have not progressed beyond 20th century technology, and are often smog-choked, overpopulated slums" Gee, I wonder what those less fortunate nations could be. :thinkin-lenin:
This kinda makes sense because both series began toward the end of the golden age of neoliberalism, but they aged super poorly because America and its vassal states are literally imploding. The succdem states in the EU are about the become America 2.0 as they vastly expand their military budgets and enact further austerity. :agony-shivering:
As much as I love Mass Effect its insane just how "End of History" lib it is, and simultaneously extremely militarisic "the damn ploiticians won't let us win"
