It's like a week away or some shit, hope I get some chuckles at least
The dems get crushed. Historians look back on the elections as the beginning of the end for the Democratic Party. They lose ~30 seats in the house and they lose ~2 senate seats. Meanwhile - the GOP gleefully pours salt in the dem wounds. The republicans demand recounts for 75% of the important races on a federal and state level. They do this even if they won by a lot. Pundits like MSNBC legal experts say "These frivolous lawsuits will - oops, I mean should - be thrown out of court."
But a surprisingly large number of cases are allowed to continue and the GOP gets its ridiculous recounts. Some GOP judges and justices issue surprising rulings. A few dem house winners who clearly won are told that they actually lost because some ballots were "stale" - whatever that means. One dem senate seat is contested in the same way and the case reaches the supreme court. In a shocker - the GOP justices void that dem win so the dems end up losing ~3 senate seats.
The GOP is ecstatic. The dems are crestfallen. It's clear that the GOP openly broke the law covertly and overtly to win some races. Not-so-secretly funded "private GOP patriots" acted as "poll watchers", "election monitors", and "real Americans" to crush and block dem voting. These guys in their Oakley wraparounds, their camo, carrying their loaded guns clearly broke the law. But the dems are shell-shocked by the political legal rulings and they already gave up. The dems tell people to vote harder in 2024.
Throughout all of this rank GOP criminality - Garland never charges anybody with anything. The new hot GOP merch is Stopped the Steal.
i mean yeah sure it's funny but i thought this post was fishing for unrealistic weird funny predictions, not the 100% expected funny outcome
to find and transcribe it…
Thanks!
game of power
At r/politics one argument I've had endlessly there is that the dems do elaborate kabuki or misdirection. It's power cosplay and it's infuriating. They refuse to use their power and they refuse to fight GOP power. My favorite simple question in that sub is "Why didn't Biden fire Louis DeJoy in his first 100 days?" The convos go like this...
Them: "You don't understand how politics works - do you? Biden can't just pick up the phone and fire DeJoy. You understand that, right?"
"Okay, Biden fires the GOP people on the postal board, installs his own people, and they fire DeJoy."
"Oh my goodness. Postal Board? You don't understand the process at all. There is no 'postal board'. There's the USPS Board of Governors..."
"I'll be right back. I'll find an great article I read written by a journo who explains how the process of shitcanning DeJoy would work. And he uses all the right terms."
Of course - I get nowhere. They might stop talking. Or tell me the convo is pointless and then they leave. Or they claim they scanned the article and say they don't agree with it. But they refuse to explain why. The entire thing is ridiculous.
The dems think that their better arguments, their better ideas, their slavish devotion to process, their self-righteousness, and their unshakable belief in "better angels of our nature" will eventually win the day. How can that not be the case? They didn't learn a goddamned thing from 8 effing years of Obama.
It's going to be pretty funny to me if there's a highly mysterious number of ballots from only heavily dem zip codes that have errors in the postmarks. Then - of course - GOP judges and justice say "Sorry, we have no choice - the ballots must be rejected. They are in error." DeJoy is seen smiling every day - all day log. The rejected ballots come at a very high cost to the democrats and to our democracy. Oh, well.
Hell of Presidents
How is the podcast? I didn't even know the name until you mentioned it. For about the last 2 years - I haven't paid any attention at all to CTH - the pod had way too much filler for my taste. And I know almost nothing about the CTH extended universe.
didn’t biden specifically appoint new people to the board who were cozy with dejoy 💀
I don't remember the details because I intentionally didn't want to learn more. But I seem to remember Biden appointed some new people and - whoever they were - they weren't going to shitcan DeJoy by themselves.
As time went on - I started to mention DeJoy only in passing and without much enthusiasm. It's pretty funny when libs are in "vote" mode. They don't even pretend to listen so arguing with them about anything is pointless. Bull elephants in musth are best entirely avoided and the same goes for libs in "vote" mode.
if you’re an american it’s a must-listen.
I'll give it a try. I wish it had a transcript but Matt would never do that for anything.
Dems get 60 seats in the senate. Can't do anything but increase ICE's budget because they won't remove the filibuster and mansion says he won't vote to stop republican filibusters.
Dems manage to get Rand Paul to split with the party and codify Roe, by also codifying police as a protected class, requiring all bathrooms be guarded by a trained genital inspector, and bringing back property requirements to vote. SCOTUS strikes Roe as unconstitutional.
The Dems keep the house and the senate and then scramble to make new excuses for why they can’t pass abortion laws, student debt relief etc.
Cope, brioche, and wailing in the streets from all the Pink Hats and I'm With Her crew as they scramble to Twitter and TikTok and post videos taken from their cars screaming about how Russia stole the election and how democracy is no longer American.
Then they calm down, go home and carry on with their lives because regardless of who is in charge, their lifestyle and situation won't change.
The app they use to rig elections malfunctions and accidentally declares @corgiwithalaptop as the new president
I use my newfound authority to abolish the CIA on day 1, and immediately get got.
Probably the best chance America has at a brighter future.
The Dems win 100% of all contested seats. Continue to do nothing. Do the same in 2024, get the first filibuster-free, veto-free supermajority in the history of the United States. Still say they can't do anything because of one Senator who doesn't matter.
biden shuffles off the mortal coil shortly before, during or after
Ooh, shortly after in the time between horrific election loss and the new folks taking office. Then the Supreme Court forces some sort of Scalia-Garland thing and mandates that Kamala can't officially assume office until the new Congress critters are seated. She is immediately impeached.
exactly, something like this causes the republicans to paint the dems in a legitimacy crisis and noone has any sort of gumption against it in even the most pathetic way
Dems get to keep the house, but Boris Johnson is somehow the new speaker.
I think Zelensky as speaker of house is more likely than BoJo, even if BoJo has an american passport.
Dems lose the house by a lot of seats but very few votes basically 50 seats go to Republicans who got ~100 more votes than their opponents. If Democrats had passed voting rights legislation they might have won. The Senate also goes to Republicans in a similar fashion. Then a MAGA
terroristpatriot takes out the president and vice president, Kevin McCarthy is now president.Dems somehow hold on to both the Senate and the House, but Republicans win enough Governors and state legislatures to call a constitutional convention and do a sort of coup.
