This is legitimately revolting. The ICC should charge Iowa for crimes against humanity for this
Gonna report this post to the mods so i can force them to look at it
"if I have to see this shit then so do you"
- PaulSmackage, probably
It wasn't until I learned how to cook for myself that I realized how truly bland the """food""" is here.
Folks? They don't rinse their canned beans! They use ketchup as a barbecue sauce! Black pepper is too spicy!
I always thought "white people eat bland food" was a stupid stereotype, or perhaps something from Mexico, Korea, Thailand, or some other place that eats hot food, and that by bland they just meant "not hot". In my experience white people in Hawai'i didn't really eat more or less bland food than everyone else.
Then I went to the Midwest
Where I'm from is whiter than old dog shit but the "local" cuisines at least have flavor and spice.
It was wild the first time I got a slice in the Midwest and they somehow managed to have three distinct layers of bread, sauce, and toppings which somehow were completely distinct and did not interact with each other at all.
It should be considered a skill to be able to cook the flavor out of stuff the way they do.
Hmm, how should we cook broccoli? Should we grill it? Fry it? Bake it?
No!
Boil that shit until it turns green-grey and serve it with several tbsp of butter!
What if we find a way to cook it that not only makes it taste like stale water it also removes half the nutrients from it?
The Midwest blended the blandest foods from Germany, England, and France.
Texmex has slowly infiltrated but the Midwestern pallet can't handle it.
the midwest
aka the whitest place on earth: "mid" and "west"
The Midwest: where garlic is considered an exotic, extreme flavor
Actually I found out that Italians are fucking garlic-phobic compared to anyone from Chicago. Like they cut out the middle of their singular garlic clove and throw it away because it has some more flavor in it
No, they don't want to "waste" the "juice"
I thought I hated beans for years because of this shit.
Ugh, I don’t rinse my beans but I do drain them. Otherwise you’re just getting a massive salt bomb (only exception is reserving a little when making hummus).
They don't rinse their canned beans!
That's completely fine depending on what you're doing. Essentially if you're dumping a can of beans right into something that's going to dilute the liquid (like say a pot of chili), it's completely fine and hardly noticeable.
I notice. The difference in chilli is night and day, it's way too starchy. I thought I hated beans for years because of that shit 😠
i mean, cream cheese and mashed avocado is probably decent tasting, but it isn't guacamole
The chef also stated cottage cheese can be substituted for the cream cheese and ketchup for the Tabasco if the crowd looked especially not spice tolerant.
See, this right here is why white genocide is justified
One of the most confusing parts. Cream cheese is pungent to these people.
The funniest taco I've ever seen came from a white owned Mexican restaurant. Taco Bell shell, ground beef, and shredded cheese. That's it. Calling that a taco is offensive.
Oh we had these at school too.
Came with a little bit of shredded lettuce and the dryest fresh chopped tomatoes possible.
need to figure out how to suspend guac in an elaborate jello mold and this chef will win whatever the iowa equivalent of a michelin star is. And like, I'm sure they'll come to realize this, but the sour cream is served on top of the jello salad. It's like this mofo has never been to an excruciating family gathering in the rural south before
the iowa equivalent of a michelin star is
The Michelin Tire
The faces my Latina fiancé made reading this to her lmao
holy shit they actually put avocado in it. Isn't that too offensive for the tongue of the white midwesterner?
that green dye might be a bit too strong for their palettes tbh
While I live on Liberal Mountain, I can testify that Iowa seems to have no culinary tradition. It's south of Midwestern German/Scandanvian/Polish food, and north/east of the Southern/Tex-mex food.
As someone who lived in Kansas ditto
They had a weird thing about Cinnamon Rolls and Chili. Together.
Yup, every two weeks for school lunch. Also the chili is basically just thick tomato soup with bits of stuff in it.
The whole Cincinatti tradition of putting chili on top of spaghetti seems weird until you realize that by "chili" they mean ragu, ground beef and maybe a little salt.
They're just so completely useless at cooking they think a basic meat sauce is "chili".
It has salt, to the Midwestern pallet that means its spicy. 😞
Cinnamon is honestly pretty good in chili if you want to take it that direction.
Cinnamon is definitely underrated as an ingredient in savory dishes. Mexico got that shit figured out.
But also I disagree with cinnamon rolls and chili as a pairing on principle so please don't try and use logic here.
Moroccan cooking involves a shitload of cinnamon in everything savory, and it is delicious.
I will admit, I tried cinnamon rolls and chili. As long as the chili itself isn't sweet it's really good. Cornbread and chili is already an amazing combo so it's only a half step away from that
I can only begin to imagine the suffering the Mexican chef goes through every day, having to make that slop.
They solved that problem by refusing to hire any minorities to work in theiir mexican restaurant.
treatment
