This is the new POC Gravel Cargo helmet. It will sell like hotcakes, I guarantee it.

It has a fucking velcro patch to stick on patches on the other side. It's fucking stupid, you have a bicycle, strap shit to your bicycle instead of your head. You know why soldiers do this? Because they don't have anywhere else to put it. You do.

  • StewartCopelandsDad [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I think this is good and bikers should also open carry. It's the only way to get protected bike lanes

    e: bikes should be 7 feet tall and have LED headlights that use openCV to aim at rear view mirrors and babies

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      if you fell off a 7 foot tall bike you would probably be seriously injured and the high centre of gravity would make that very likely

      • RangeFourHarry [they/them]
        ·
        1 year ago

        To make it more stable you could add another pair of wheels, and maybe a gas motor to help with the extra weight

      • 7bicycles [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        1 year ago

        Akshually but actually a bicycle is an upside down pendulum as far as balancing is concerned. Tall bikes are easier to balance due to their tallness. Think of the difference between balancing a toothpick and a broomstick on the palm of your hand.

        Lot harder to get on and off though.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The cyclists have become militarized

    Their thick, meaty legs will kick down the doors of injustice

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Tactically ascertaining the bike lane that's the size of a shoe as I narrowly avoid being pulverized by a lifted F-150 with Scott Adams x Kanye 2024 bumper stickers on it.

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      CRRK Bravo-Delta 5 we have bogeys on our tail, requesting immediate backup CRRK

      You know this is going to be used exclusively by people chucking their gravel bikes into their trucks, buzzing every cyclists along the way to their grand epic gravel ride and then doing the same thing on the way back

  • Abraxiel
    ·
    1 year ago

    Sorry, decorating your helmet is also cool.

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah i had velcro for patches and reflective cats eyes and glow in the dark tape and flashlights mounted to my helmet years ago. I always got weird looks because apparently having a compact high intensity flashlight strapped to your head for night biking is some kind of weirdo thing.

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah but stick to the culture, paint some shit on there with permanent marker, stick a spoke card on it for all I care, just not this pseudo-militaristic bullshit. The only people that get to pull that would be people waging urban insurgency warfare on bicycles

  • MaoistLandlord [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Yeah I’m an alpha MAN cyclist. I have 50 ton trucks trying to run me over but they just crash and die because of LOW TESTOSTERONE

  • Thylacine [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Idk I think it's kinda cool. But not with that military olive green color scheme. You could put your emergency contact information on it for paramedics to see in the event that you're mowed down by a lifted F350 speeding through the bike lane in order to pass a school bus

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is a bicycle helmet, there isn't gonna be anything left of it if you're hit by car. They're neither certified, manufactured nor tested for that scenario

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      no, bad, this is the "take a flag with you at the crosswalk so the drivers can see you" approach to safety

      • EmmaGoldman [she/her, comrade/them]M
        ·
        1 year ago

        Honestly, I'd rather be more visible than less visible for safety, but mostly I just think we need more fun colours, the north american scene seems to have every biker in all black and grey and dull dark mattes and it's just so ugly. Gimme a hot pink helmet so bright it leaves a trail in your vision as I go past.

  • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The velcro is so you can remove your Metal Gear Solid FOX unit patch so the EMT doesn't think you're a dork to maintain opsec in the case of an emergency evac.

  • Dolores [love/loves]
    ·
    1 year ago

    im still unconvinced these bike helmets are much better than a metal world war helmet. this is because i dont understand shock physics

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      They're genuinely pretty good at what they're designed for, which is saving your from splitting your head open when you fall off your bike at moderate (so like 30kph at most, not bombing down a hill at 80kph) speed.

      Anything else, not so much

  • pinglun [none/use name]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The good news is, this capitalist "innovation" will be easily copied and by next year every helmet will have it.

  • Comp4 [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Reminds me that my dad drives his bike without a helmet. I really should talk him into getting a helmet. Dont want him to get hurt.

  • Kereru [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    lmao I saw this on my social feeds and thought it was a meme. A few .50mm rounds and a gun mounted to the bars would be kinda sick though

    • invo_rt [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      writing "Born to KOM" on the side :sicko-biker: