• Abraxiel
    ·
    1 year ago

    What no aftercare does to a motherfucker.

    Kinda seriously though, without the system of care and communication around it, power play and rough sex can be pretty harmful and if someone doesn't want to take the effort to do that care, yeah maybe they do have something going on.

    • UlyssesT
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      deleted by creator

    • AbbysMuscles [she/her]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Shit, my partner and I need proper aftercare just after normal, loving sex. Going without after rougher stuff sounds miserable

      • Abraxiel
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        deleted by creator

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      my bf and i are very in tune at this point, he aftercares the fuck out of me and it helps with my ptsd so much. without my bf i dont know where id be :left-unity-4:

      he sometimes brings me chocolate and feeds it to me... idk if anyone knows this but chewing can help with post sex ptsd symptoms. he sometimes catches my ptsd before i do, i love him so much

      • Abraxiel
        ·
        1 year ago

        Huh, makes sense though. A lot of people chew gum to help with nerves. Something about doing the action of eating associating with being safe?

        • kristina [she/her]
          ·
          1 year ago

          Yeah it was floated in my support group and it worked wonders for me

      • SaniFlush [any, any]
        ·
        1 year ago

        There are times where you just need a glass of chilled herbal tea...

  • betelgeuse [comrade/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    That's right, tell me my kink is dirty. Yeah it's dirty and bad. Oh god yes. It stems from a major emotional pathology. That's it, I'm almost there.

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]
      ·
      1 year ago

      unironically have heard from people into piss that part of the appeal is that it's gross and dirty and wider acceptance of it would ruin it for them

  • WoofWoof91 [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    if a dom needs to be in control, it's because of some narcisistic god complex that makes them think they're better than others

    :data-laughing:

    most doms i've had fun with have been UwU smoll beans outside the bedroom/woods

    if a sub feels they need to be controlled, it's because they feel inferior to other people

    motherfucker, have you met me?

    • Slaanesh [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I hate being a het-passing big guy. All I get is "daddy" this and "sir" that. Motherfucker all I want is a dom tying me down and doing their thing until my brain shuts off.

    • UlyssesT
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      deleted by creator

      • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I knew a guy a decade ago who was a stock broker, freemason, and LaVeyan Satanist (I'm not joking about any of this: he was a member of the local freemason lodge, had picked up Satanism when he was in highschool, and one of the last conversations we had was about how he'd just been licensed as a stock broker) who was obsessed with the idea of acquiring power and wealth, and was also the most aggressively open sub I've ever seen.

        • JuneFall [none/use name]
          ·
          1 year ago

          had picked up Satanism when he was in highschool

          To be a free mason you just need to believe in one higher power, so it does check the box.

      • Retrosound [none/use name]
        ·
        1 year ago

        From what I've read, that's why they're always paying for dominatrix services and such. It's called "decision fatigue" and they plain just get tired of being in control all day. It's refreshing to turn off your brain and just do what someone else commands for a change.

    • BeamBrain [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      It'd be like if someone thought I was some kind of war hawk because I love wargaming when I'm far and away one of the most anti-war people I know

    • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I'm very arrogant in every day life, but that has never gotten in the way of my sex drive wanting a big strong woman to lace her fingers around my throat and make me see stars.

  • save_vs_death [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    famously nobody ever wanted to have consensual vanilla sex with someone they otherwise hate or abuse

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      The sub/dom dynamic only works with strong communication. Limits and boundaries. It's a fun game. But with every game there needs to be rules.

      • AcidSmiley [she/her]
        ·
        1 year ago

        This. I only have experience subbing for other trans girls, and tbh i don't think i could even establish that level of trust with a cishet guy, but my experience is that kinksters are the best at things like enthusiastic consent, establishing boundaries and communicating openly about what you want. D/s play has really shown me how to make my sex life healthier, more fun and more respectful towards me and my partners even completely outside of a BDSM context, simply by making these experiences with somebody who communicates such intimate things so openly.

        Also, there's nothing better like good aftercare.

  • BeamBrain [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 year ago

    If you play Minecraft, it's because you actually yearn for the mines

  • UlyssesT
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • cricbuzz [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Freud and his consequences have been a disaster for the human race

      • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
        ·
        1 year ago

        sure you can, he popularized the "something happened in your childhood and it's coming out in your sexuality" idea.

        • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          and sometimes, that is true

          like Freud very clearly does not say "you can infer a person's entire past, interiority, and personality based on their sexual proclivities" that's the whole point of psychoanalysis is that such things do not map clearly onto one another, they're personal and have to be unearthed

  • save_vs_death [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    "don't kinkshame me" is a secret codephrase for "non-psychologists should not try to think too hard about how kinks work" exhibit #315

  • MolotovHalfEmpty [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I just assume any anti-something subreddit is going to be a silo of crankery. They're all just people muttering to themselves in agreement, while exposing themselves endlessly to the things they despise. There's never any real content, or action, just pathology.

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Self flagellation is best flagellation! :whip-it-canister:

      • MolotovHalfEmpty [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        By order of Sir Kier Starmer you are hereby charged with a Class A drug offense for that emoji. :volcel-judge:

  • jabrd [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The confused psyche of a pleasure dom :cat-confused: