Permanently Deleted
Everyone always claims to hate drama but the reality is that drama is slop. The question is whether you have the self-awareness to identify when you are stirring the pot and the self-control to keep yourself in check once you're aware of it, and imo people who can't admit to finding it entertaining are the ones least likely to possess that self-awareness.
The #1 source of struggle sessions is and will always be boredom.
I feel like the people participating are on average not enjoying it
Shamelessly admitting that I love opening a thread for the first time with 100+ comments of dumb slop
They may not be enjoying it, but their brains would rather be angry than bored. Brains hate boredom more than anything in the world. Anger, sadness, loneliness, frustration, hatred - brains prefer any of them over sitting around with nothing to think about.
I also think people here just don't like each other. Not active hatred but more of a this-person-is-cool-in-small-doses-but-drives-me-fucking-mad-if-I'm-stuck-with-them-for-over-5-hour way. And I say this as someone who has been caught up in their fair share of struggle sessions. Do people really care about outdoor cats or stacking rocks or bidets or is this just cover for them to shit on other people who they don't like? And this is not even considering certain segments of this website who do actively hate each other (vegans vs carnists).
Edit: Looks at a bunch of soon-to-be-deleted comments. Yep, this is 100% proving my point.
I also think people here just don't like each other.
I like most people here.
Looks at the loser trying to harass you with 8 alts
Jesus Christ
But anyways, the struggle sessions here remind me of people in a long-term relationship who argue over the most trivial shit. Most people would recognize that the trivial shit isn't actually important but merely a symptom of a dysfunctional relationship. I have been caught up in between an argument on how to trim some orange tree that devolved into some 4+ hour argument. Obviously, no one involved actually cared about some shitty orange tree. The argument was just the breaking point of a deteriorating relationship, the only different between here and them being that they are emotionally invested in their relationship and want to repair it.
I don't see why this same basic principle can't be applied here. It's either that or just saying people here are terminally online weirdos. I used to think so, but I've decided to move away from this since routine grass touchers exhibit the same pattern of behavior even if it's in a different social context. Plus, calling people you don't like terminally online weirdos is just self-aggrandizement on top of being ableist.
Looks at the loser trying to harass you with 8 alts
That happens every month or so. It's always some "u r obsessed" posting not-obsessed person who shows their own ass by demonstrating their stalking chops by bringing up some obscure bit of posting trivia like... me giving dating advice to a stranger a month before, which according to the not-obsessed not-enraged person who is just concerned about my "obsessive rage" means that I can't possibly be married because that doesn't fit just how strongly they hate me and want to imagine that I'm simultaneously too strong and too weak as a target of their hate.
But anyways, the struggle sessions here remind me of people in a long-term relationship who argue over the most trivial shit.
Agreed.
I believe, with a large amount of circumstantial evidence, that my roughly-one-a-month explosions of not-enraged not-obsessed brave alt posters that come at me come from the fact that like over a year ago I made them upset because I criticized Game of Thrones or some other
edgelord slop they were consuming and they never got over that.Plus, calling people you don't like terminally online weirdos is just self-aggrandizement on top of being ableist.
Agreed. That's why I don't say that, even for the brave alt posters I just mentioned. "Touch grass" is just a fancy "shut up, I hate you" here on Hexbear and I'm tired of it.
ulysseys you have an adrenalin fueled tantrum almost every day
Check if it's not too late to get a refund on your mind reading device. It's not working very well.
While you're at it, check your mirror, because you made this personal out of nowhere. With a mysterious brand new alt account too.
I'm happily married.
How many brave alt accounts are you going to make because you're enraged at what you think is my rage?
Being enraged enough at me that you think your rage can magically alter reality to fit how you feel about me is certainly something.
What was that thing you said some alts ago about how I was fueled by rage?
How many not-rage-driven alts are you going to go through tonight, alone?
So your holy crusade against what you claim is my rage will continue for a while, then. That's too bad.
Here, you may need this more than I do.
I'm literally just correcting stuff you're getting wrong
I'm not even a mod, and I'm not even going to read the rest of your not-raging about your imaginary version of me that you're raging about.
I also think people here just don't like each other. Not active hatred but more of a this-person-is-cool-in-small-doses-but-drives-me-fucking-mad-if-I'm-stuck-with-them-for-over-5-hour way.
There's only like one person I feel this way about.
Everyone always claims to hate drama
I don't recall anyone expressing that opinion here.
Everyone always claims to hate drama
I don't recall anyone expressing that opinion here.
I remember a lot of stuff and I don't recall that being brought up until now, either.
This thread seems to be a shit-stirring attempt to me.
the devil finds work for idle hands. People who are bored will often just cause trouble
I think there was also some dismissal of everyone in the country as a racist yokel in that thread which is also pretty narrow minded and rude
no one covered themselves in glory there
The small town i grew up near is basically plastered in pride flags and every child matters ribbons all year round, which is obviously far from the norm, but is just an example that not all rural areas are inherently reactionary by default.
All that thread did was make me go "cities are cool and fun to visit, but i am just not adapted to that environment for extended periods of time."
Yeah, i found the hostility between the two sides in that thread to be more confusing than anything. Each has its perks, and the experience in either area is not universal.
There's a weird thing where some people go, "oh you believe X? Then you must support Y terrible thing." (See the Falkland struggle session)
That's true, but its used disingenuously a lot to strawman people.
For example, believing the Falklands shouldn't be a British colony, doesn't also mean believing that everyone currently living there should be deported.
Gonna shamelessly plug my effortpost on this very topic from a while back (feels like its been more than 6 months tbh lol).
Now that we've reforked to Lemmy I would add a 4th main point: use the Block function amply! If someone or some comm consistently grinds your gears and hurts your enjoyment of the site, just save yourself the psychic damage and slam that Block button, that's what it's there for.
If we could just assume that everyone on this site is probably at least well meaning then I think we could have a much better culture around disagreements
I think this site might benefit from having a sort of "good faith" rule
I think we actually do have that already (although it seems like the Code of Conduct still hasn't been updated, and trawling through old /c/announcement threads definitely isn't the optimal way of finding rules).
The rules there should cover most of this, but I'm not sure how thoroughly they're enforced, which isn't the fault of the mods necessarily, they're not omnipresent and need to actually have people report stuff to them (and I'm not sure how many users actually regularly report stuff, I know for myself that I'd rather just skip over a thread or comment chain that's getting mean than read through the whole thing and try to figure out who to report). Also, as a non-American timezone haver I've noticed that I tend to miss all the drama, so maybe our mods are also disproportionately in other timezones and end up only being able to come in when things have already deteriorated?
Hexbear could always do what Lemmygrad does and put code of conduct on the site sidebar on the homepage.
If a comment/post is longer than two paragraphs, I don't read it. This policy has significantly improved my mental health.
My eyes definitely start to glaze over trying to read some of the essays people come up with on here.
If a comment/post is longer than two sentences, i take off my glasses and try reading it again (i am farsighted).
You don't need to walk me through the history of the site. I have been here since the sub, unfortunately. I check out a lot and it just turns into a parody of itself
very funny to see this comment and below it is a arrow saying "41 more replies"
Reading the "why would anybody live in a big city" thread made me realize this because some of those arguments were ridiculous
That thread was terrible because people were arguing whether the city or country is worse when everyone knows suburbs are easily the worst of them all.
Yes? I don't recall any of the internationales splitting over whether cats can have "a little" salami or "little a" salami.
Well generally the big arguments are political in nature
The nature rock stacking thing, the living in city thing was framed politically and lots of arguments were political
There is no issue, I love reading these threads lol
I sometimes get new perspectives too
This post was not a complaint post
the bolsheviks and the mensheviks split over a whether the manifesto should say "members should be guided by the party" or "members should be directed by the party"
Look, I just have strong opinions about outdoor cats and China.
Meowist-Mleminist
Fuck, what rhymes with Marx and has to do with cats?
Help I want an indoor cat but each time I open the door my cat runs at 30 km/h to literally to touch and eat grass.
Ive come to realize that it's because everyone on the left is severely depressed and barley hanging on. No one can do anything except work their shitty job and/or rot in a bed room and look at their phone. I was considering coming back to this site after a year of having to cool done, but no I still hate everything. Everything I do is pointless and a waste of time, because my existence is a waste of time because it's just going to be a slow collapse as the environment fails and everything is melted to nothing so the profits can remain consistent
ur existence is not a waste of time. im sorry you feel like ur life is pointless, but im sure it isnt. all life is an incredible gift and communists should be determined to preserve and prolong life. i am 100% positive that you matter. and you should internalize that bc you cant work for the betterment of the world if you dont work for yourself, ur loved ones, and ur community
ik capitalism makes our lives miserable, im wishing you the best
>says "all of you are terminally online"
>uses the armchair jargon term "struggle session"
Left neoliberalism. it says right there in the subtitle: "we're building a community"
Ice Spice, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Cupcakke should form a triumvirate and install themselves as the dictators of the United States
Cuz posters are gonna post and that phrase was a meme back on the subreddit
It’s like being around LoL players. Annoying, miserable people who don’t even like the game but still play because someone called them a name
gg wp jungle diff
me explaining why the only people who actually had fun in LoL are mid players.
Top Lane is fun until irelia decides to violate my human rights (RIP yorick)
Actually top has singed so you are right top is best followed by mid
ok let me counter pick you so that you can spend 30 minutes last hitting every creep to get destroyed by the enemies bot lane who had jungle and mid-roam support the entire early-mid game
SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN
When I read about MOBAs, even the supposedly fun parts sound like punishment, or at least deliberately designed to be as miserable as possible, like how it can drag on long after one side already knew it lost, just long enough to scream slurs and have Heated
Moments.ive never had a single game in over 15 years of gaming tilt me so hard I would seek out irl fights to cope with the salt
Some scary and actual real-life-violent shit has happened over MOBAs in the past.
For me, it's a stripped down RTS game mode with a lot of repetition and deliberately bloated insider jargon where actual atmosphere and storytelling is substituted for waifu skins.
But haven't you considered the profitability of eSports and seasonal microtransactions?
I firmly believe MOBAs draw out the absolute worst facets of humanity and should probably be banned.
So like top lane but less extreme matchup.
Still better than jungle (expected to be everywhere) adc (cant do anything early and gets 1 shotted) and support (gets reported for roaming)
Also say what about the wind brothers but gameplay wise they are actually really fun to play.
This is why ARAM is the only good game mode and even there the gamer-brains drag down the whole experience
Ayyy little-a salami-a
objectively correct take
or are you calling the post 
