Biden wins this year and pardons Trump. Trump stages a successful coup and has Biden executed.
united states collapses but then europe federates into the united states of europe with an almost identical constitution
The first USE president is just like Ronald Reagan. He's an actor, an idiot, old, and senile. The only exception is that he's trilingual.
after the US collapses all of the white suburbanites flee to europe and vanguard this effort.
We may not even need the lathe for this one.
US hogs could never deal with good public transit, cheap fresh food, and good espresso.
THat's why they establish the USE constitution, to take that away from you
Okay anglo self-exile post-balkanization of Turtle Island would be so fucking funny
The only difference is that the cheeseburgers are now made with baguettes and McDonald's get renamed to ChezDonald.
I'd do everything chuds say leftists will do. Schools will teach Marxism and ML theory. All teachers must be LGBTQ+ and can't be white, or must demonstrate their allyship through concrete action and be approved after review by CRT experts. Anybody can get a no questions asked abortion at any point in their pregnancy. Anybody who has a gun and isn't a leftist gets it taken away and given, along with their ammo, to a Palestinian. Landlords get their properties given to their tenants, and vacant apartments get given to the homeless. Child marriage is made illegal and the general age of consent is 18 minimum. Intentionally misgendering gets you sent to a re-education camp. Actually all acts and expressions of bigotry do. Free healthcare including gender affirming care. Land back. DEI. If they name it and it sounds based or at least funny, I'll do it.
My favourite was that Canada Post / USPS would ship ounces of weed via the mail. Shit that's a good idea.
I'm gonna get a sewing machine and a bunch of nice fabrics and learn how to make myself a whole new wardrobe with my Xibucks.
What a lovely picture you painted in my mind. 💗
Child marriage is made illegal and the general age of consent is 18 minimum.
AGHH!! NOO!! LITERALLY COMMUNISM 1849!
Azov/Right Sector accidentally release definitive proof that they fired on their own citizens during the Maidan after footage of it is included as B-roll for a pro-Ukraine propaganda video shared all over the internet by NAFO accounts.
TikTok gets sold to a US group who immediately destroy it with obvious and smothering propaganda and moderation that makes posting anything difficult. It hemorrhages users for a month or two. And then China relaunches Musical.ly which grows exponentially and absolutely dominates again.
Biden and Trump die of natural causes on the same day within hours of each other. It is truly a coincidence but produces an incredibly convoluted & dull set of conspiracy theories that will be repeated for the next hundred years. Kamala loses to Trump's VP pick, who is a woman. Republicans crow about electing the first woman president for the next several decades, which is how long it will take to elect the second woman president.
Nukes fly
NATO nukes don't work
Russian, Chinese and Korean nukes do indeed work
The British Royal Navy will claim that one of its vessels was hit and almost sunk by the Houthis. It will quickly be revealed that it was crashed into by another British Royal Navy vessel operating in the area. The Houthis will post a barrage of memes about it and the accident will cost the hundreds of millions and it's ability to continue its support of the mission.
Incumbent presidents typically attempt assassinating rivals before last day in office as becomes tradition after our latest SCOTUS ruling.
I don't think they will sub in Hillary Clinton instead of Biden and I don't think she'd win against Trump.
But fuck it would be kind of funny wouldn't?
Like Hillary gets in 8 years and 2 presidents later. The supreme court is packed with conservatives, the reactionary response is insane (like Obama teaparty turned to 11), the carefully cultivated imperial project is on decline, and she's just doing a really lacklustre job that libs have to insist is historic.
she's just doing a really lacklustre job that libs have to insist is historic
omg wow she's just like Joseph Biden, the MOST PROGRESSIVE and PRESIDENTIAL president in HISTORY!!
But like she is somehow worse than Biden AND because she's the first woman president you're a sexist for not supporting her death squads in whatever additional conflict she has started.
You have to tell her death squads that you understand, it's hard out here, let me help you with the furnace door, look you've been graaarghrtr1l!
or you're on the wrong side of HERSTORY
During the next American civil war, Texas seceded and Mexico takes it chance to reclaim what’s theirs
Wot if a cargo ship making a break for the Suez succesfully evades Ansar Allah only to
The UK is dragged into the war by hawks and defence industry goons in a newly elected Labour government under Keir Starmer.
Trump then wins the election and begins a withdrawal of support, money, and troops by the US, leaving us in the lurch.
Russia hits some UK military targets abroad and maybe does some cyber attacks here, which will enrage the defense folks but the not the public, just to remind us were a yapping little dog without the US.
Suddenly there will be an embarrassing climb down and U-turn as we pivot to supporting a peace agreement rather than getting our shit kicked in without full US backing.
hexbear becomes wildly popular as the north korean facebook and one of you gets rich as mark zuckerburg and then get hit with the heart attack gun but that causes kim to nuke DC, all to protecc lil ole us.
anddddddd go!
