cat-trans

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  • sneak100
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
      ·
      5 months ago

      A woman will still look like a woman no matter what.
      They might not meet societal beauty standards, but no one will mistake them for men (except transvestigation loonies)

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        5 months ago

        Sneak100 is correct, cis women get misgendered a lot more than 0% of the time. They do not "look like a woman" (a definition for which you have not provided) when they get mistaken for men. Women do not always look like women, that is just untrue.

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            By other cis people, all the time. Just because you don't have an anecdote doesn't mean it doesn't happen - cis women can have strong jaws or thick facial hair or thin hips or wide shoulders. They can have PCOS and abnormal testosterone levels. It happens now and then. How else could masc women even exist? And that's before cis women started kicking eachother out of bathrooms. You have not been around enough if you've never seen it.

          • Babs [she/her]
            ·
            edit-2
            5 months ago

            edit: this was bitchy and grumbly. But it's fair to want to compare yourself to your peers and siblings, and this notion that you should only compare yourself to the most masculine-looking women out there, the few who get misgendered, rubs me wrong.

            • ashinadash [she/her]
              ·
              5 months ago

              The point is more that passing is stupid and arbitrary and being brainwormed about it certainly doesn't help. Calling people "delusional" for saying that cis women do not always look like women, is itself out of touch with reality. Plus, comparing yourself to others, specifically cis women is usually a road to brainwormed shit.

              Nobody is saying "only compare yourself to the most masc women", ffs.

              Comment by sneak100:

              [...] the point is that the finish line is bullshit. A trans woman would have to put a tone more work, maybe even expensive surgeries to "pass", but if they do pass, they do it in the exact same way as a cis woman. A cis woman who also has to do a tonne of work to achieve this same standard, because it's unrealistic and harmful to everyone.

          • magi [null/void]M
            ·
            5 months ago

            I used to work with 2 cis women who were misgendered they would never pass in society. They were both married also...

            You need to calm down and occupy yourself before you go too far, you're already insulting members here..

            I know you're upset and feeling bad, but please take a break

          • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
            ·
            5 months ago

            Perhaps by you if you haven't noticed it. It certainly does happen.

            I've seen it a ton given my mom has been gendered primarily as a man (including by gay men who hang out at gay bars, where surely they've seen lots of butch lesbians - its not just the hets who can't tell) since at least a teen. She's not intersex in anyway as far as I know. She gets misgendered in-person and over the phone all the time. I've never once seen her correct someone - so most people probably never realize their mistake. She's not the only one I've seen it happen to either. For example, I had a classmate who, when I first met them asked me to guess if they were a girl or a guy because of how frequently she was misgendered. I was confused because she looked obviously like a girl to me at the time, but I guess a lot of people have weird heuristics that just didn't work for her.

      • sneak100
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        edit-2
        2 months ago

        deleted by creator

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            Please do not get banned over this. You should do whatever helps you feel less bad instead of fighting people here.

              • ashinadash [she/her]
                ·
                5 months ago

                Literally come back when you stop thinking all women innately and always "look like women", and quit being ridiculous.

                Pretty sure you're just depressed and upset which I get, but I'm not gonna sit here and bullshit you. If you think this is "delusion" you haven't been around enough.

                I hope you feel better soon.

                  • EllenKelly [comrade/them]M
                    ·
                    5 months ago

                    Youre projecting your own personal views of the world onto other peoples experience. I've felt the same way in the past, i often do, but its not good to ruminate on. My own therapist who is a short haired older lesbian often gets misgendered because of her hair for example.

                    Predicting who is a woman, or allowing other people to determine one's woman-ness is something we should not be giving energy to.

                    If someone misgenders you, either tell them, or let it slide and move on, they do not determine who you are. Thats a deterministic and fascist point of view.

                  • ashinadash [she/her]
                    ·
                    5 months ago

                    They don't and you can't even define what you're talking about. Cis women have to shave and do their hair in flattering ways and consider their figures too; if your sisters wake up femme enough that's good for them but as SnowySkyes said, all cis women have to put in work to be seen as women.

          • sneak100
            ·
            edit-2
            2 months ago

            deleted by creator

            • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
              ·
              5 months ago

              saying my sisters can wake up and they just look like women isn't "evangelical themed transphobia brainworms", whatever the fuck that even means, it is literally just true.