WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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coming out/being in the closet, shame
Being in the closet is eating me alive. Was on a vc with friends and just felt terrible the whole time. Like there was a dirty secret I couldn't share. Anytime I'm doing stuff with my family I can't stop thinking about it. What am I going to do chat. And for some reason, all this comes with a (un)healthy helping of doubt. Am I trans, or have I talked myself into it somehow. I don't think I have but the feelings/fears are still there.
I think I'm going to finally change my pronouns to they/them on discord though. Still not what I want but a lot less drastic then she/her, yaknow?
Anyway I'm actually doing okay tonight, I know this was kind of a bummer post but I feel fine. Well maybe fine is a stretch. Numb would be more accurate, but numb is okay
Hope you're all having a good night.
As someone who's also in the closet i know how it can feel
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I think changing your pronouns would be a good first step on discord.
Glad you're doing okay, numb isn't bad c:
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Yea its not too bad. Definitely could be a lot worse, and I'm glad it isn't. Having some little gender euphoria on the side is nice too.
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Glad for that, you excited about the discord pronouns?
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Eh, a little bit. I don't expect anyone to actually notice and use them though. People tend to skew towards assuming he/him in the chats I'm in (and one is actually kinda phobic), and I don't think my friends check my profile much? It will be nice to not see he/him on my own profile though.
Kinda debating on if I should give my closest friend a heads up, he's also the one who could say something to his parents though (who would in turn, tell mine)
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Well you'll know it's changed ^^ but yeah a lot if people don't check profiles. You may get someone who will though
Would your friend not keep that to himself if you asked him? I'd imagine he'd have some questions too.
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Yea, that would be pretty cool.
I think he would, and he probably would have questions. He goes belongs to a fundie denomination so I don't know how brainwormed he is. Probably not that brainwormed but you never know, do you? I think even if he is he'll be fine though...
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It would c:
Sounds decent enough, I'm glad you feel like you want to. At least you can easily answer any questions he may have. And it's true that you never know but you know best here and I trust you what you're doing ^^
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Sorry, I know its hard enough just bringing it up
No you're fine, thank you for chatting with with me
You're welcome, excited for you.
What is the normies opinion on they/them? Like, do they consider NBs more drastic or less drastic than just binary trans? At the very least, my mom seems to be more NBphobic than binary-transphobic.
I feel like the feeling of "they/them is less drastic" might just be inside out own heads as it helps some of us open up to a side of ourselves we previously denied, but I have no clue.
Guess my point is, if you are going to do it at all, you should go with what you actually want, so you don't have to go through the whole process again later and I'm not sure it has the benefit you think it does.
Only tangentially related, but I'm also curious how cissies see "All" pronouns.
Worth noting that 90% of people on discord just never check a person's pronouns so there's a high chance none of her friends will even notice, so switching to they/them isn't really the same as coming out is. But otherwise I agree, switching to they is more drastic to most cissies, and on the off chance someone does notice and starts to think of her as NB rather than questioning it can kinda suck to have to explain later (First year of uni I used He/She to see how people would gender me and test how trans friendly the place was, one of my friends genuinely thought I was NB instead of "questioning" and asked later about it, kinda sucks to implicitly misgender yourself that way)
They use your AGAB unless they're queer in which case they use they. This includes a lot of trans people. I think my best friend and I are the only people I know irl who deliberately vary pronouns, and in my friend's case it's because they use all and would rather you cycle her pronouns than stick to one, although he prefers 'they' overall.
I guess my question is do people assume you just don't care about pronouns, but are still probably cis or assume you're some flavor of gender queer, but not sure which?
Ah, they assume queer
Being sure is for losers. I seriously think it’s insane that some people don’t constantly question everything.