Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades 
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My mom told me I've got a more feminine figure now!
dysphoria, negative thoughts
But then later she showed me this youtuber who's also a trans woman and almost as old as me, but she was able to figure out she was trans very early on, and got on puberty blockers before moving on to hrt when she was a teenager. Aaand now I feel like shit again
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Don't sweat the what-ifs. We've all thought it, of course, sometimes it's fun to fantasize. But when I thought about it seriously, I wouldn't have survived being a trans middle and high schooler and my single mom doing school and work full time couldn't have afforded anything anyway. I cracked my egg when I was ready and not a day sooner.
Also, where is it written that trans bodies can't be femme or masc or androgynous (whatever the case) anyway. There's so many cis women I pass better than, one of my coworkers as a deeper more masc voice than I do and she doesn't do shit about it (she's cis). Other than bottom surgery and maybe FFS, I'm pretty happy with my body. I'm tall af, which is dope, and I actually low key like my shoulders... after HRT did it's magic with boobs and giving me a femme waist to hip ratio I'm feeling pretty good and I'm only a little under 3 years on. The FFS isn't even just for me it's for the cis so they stop fucking up my pronouns, my hrt lips and makeup take me like 90% of where I wanna be anyway.
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Yeah, I've thought about this before. I would have had to convince my parents first, then get through the gatekeeping healthcare system before getting started with blockers/hrt. Could I have handled going through the wrong puberty if I knew I was trans back then? Idk
If I'm lucky I'll be able to afford bottom surgery in a few years, but FFS seems like a luxury that's completely out of my reach. Makes me really sad since the brow bone ruins my side profile. It might be the biggest obstacle to me passing, aside from my voice.
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I"ve known since around 8 and didnt transition until my mid 30s.
I didn:t have the capacity to have transitioned until possibly my 20s that's if I didn't spend a lot more time dissociating and dealing with years of trauma.. I think most late transitioners have regrets but I try to look forward rather than look back.
That's great!
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