alright gang, we need another win over the news mega this week! keep those numbers up and keep being trans as hell
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Show
dysphoria
I thought starting E would make the imposter syndrome go away but I just still feel like a man who’s faking it
spoiler
This is a very common feeling even for trans women who have been on E for years and can pass. They go through their lives being gendered correctly, looking in the mirror and seeing a woman, and they still feel like they are faking.
This shows us that "faking it" cannot be fixed with hormones. It cannot be fixed by society acknowledging our gender identity. "Faking it" is an internal judgement. It's a weapon that we use against ourselves. However, this means that the solution lies within our own thinking patterns.
E can fix our bodies. Pronouns can fix how people acknowledge us. And our thinking patterns can fix the "faking" issue.
I suggest reflecting on what it means to "really be" a gender vs "faking" a gender to identify where this feeling is coming from and change your thinking around it.
As a side note, I'm really happy that you started hormones. I'm curious how the micro dosing thing will work out because that may be right for me
spoiler
Saaaaame
breast growth has started to make it feel real but mostly in a scary way not a fun way. What did make me feel less like an impostor was coming out to some close friends, but its still there just under the surface. I'm trying to just keep moving forward with doing affirming things and trying new things and trying to savor those brief moments when the doubt and fear vanishes and I just feel right (internally at least)
Tap for spoiler
When I first started, I went through the typical "big step forward --> feelings of impostor and/or dissociation", but I think generally it helped with the feeling after getting past that. It still didn't go away though; I considered whether I should be continuing taking HRT at least twice a day when taking the pills. Given it forces you to make the decision all the time (assuming you aren't doing monotherapy via injections), I could see how for some it could potentially even make it worse.