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I have barely watched Breaking Bad
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Let's have another good week everyone 
Just letting you all know I'm going to start info dumping about reptiles, this will be a thing I do now and you will just have to deal with it. I don't like cissies so its getting posted here.
spooky snek posting
Okay, so reptiles are my longest running special interest, as a few of you already know (join the matrix btw). Unfortunately being trans has eaten up all of my free time so my reptile research has been more limited recently.
Topic of this post is the false water cobra, Hydrodynastes gigas. I'll start with some pictures so you can have an idea what they look like
These absolute cuties come from south America, and as their name suggests they live near bodies of water, such as near rivers. They are also huge, growing up to 9 feet long and weighing up to 10 pounds, (3m/4kg), although they are typically around 6ft/5lbs. As you might suspect, they are not actually cobras, and are not elapids like actual cobras are, but in the colubrid family instead. They do not have fixed fangs like cobras or many other venomous snakes do, but have rear "fangs" that fold (I say "fangs" because I believe they are actually enlarged some kind of teeth, but forget the exact explanation). They aren't really dangerous to humans. Even if they envenomate, which they can only do if you let them chew on you, it is very mild and typically only causes swelling for a couple days. As far as I'm aware no one has died from one of these guys.
They are highly intelligent, very fast moving, and have incredible appetites. In the wild they eat almost anything they can, like fish, small mammals and frogs. In captivity a diet of frozen thawed rodents is a typical and complete diet for them. As you saw earlier, they can flatten their necks out to look more intimidating, like real cobras, although this adaptation was evolved separately. A neat little convergent evolution moment.
They are somewhat commonly kept as pets (I say somewhat common, they are available online but I'd be surprised if you found one in a pet store), and have a few neat genetic mutations (morphs) that change their appearance. I really like the "lavender" gene.
No I do not know why he is holding him like that
Just to clarify about morphs, this is a random genetic mutation, like albinism. They aren't bred like dogs to make them look this way, and as far as I'm aware this trait doesn't have any effect on the snake, outside of looking neat. Many morphs are found in the wild, just rarely because many of them make camouflage harder.
Hopefully this is detailed enough to count as autism posting >.< I have nerdier but I need to fact check myself and that takes time.
You should info dump more often! Snakes are pretty cool, though I don't know much about them.
HERPETOLOGY POSTING
wife and I had a hyperfixation moment where we just looked into snakes a ton, a year or two ago. This is bringing it all back, false water cobras flattening out is kinda funny honestly. Decent imitation too.
Snakes are a top tier fixation! Yea its so funny, honestly the pic of him hooded up looks so much like a real cobra.
good for you eggy