It's actually the only candle that smells you

burned toast

you know how nursing homes smell? exactly like that.

Mothballs

It's actually just an empty tin.

But! If you say that it is incapable of producing a flame or aroma, you get yelled at for two weeks. Then they agree with you. Then they give you another empty tin and expect you to be happy about it

Bengay

Corn pops

Cornpops, either that or a moldy corpse.

Hair

Ashes

Soiled diaper and mottled flesh with a touch of mental decline.

Rotting brains

This candle actually absorbs smells bc its smelling you.

Formaldehyde with notes of leaded gasoline for some reason

nothing, since we're in the middle of a covid wave