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  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    Ok so the other thing I feel really fucking weird about is my muscles. Probably have talked about this here but I've spent like 15 years maintaining them and building them, and like I get a lot of positive attention for them, and like I am a bit vain about them! But at the same time, I'm like wow this looks kinda manly haha. It's so fucking confusing honestly. But like there's lots of girls with nice muscles it's like a whole thing.

    I do have the choice to make my muscles essentially disappear (Botox) and I definitely don't want that. JFC maybe I just need to like change my gender and be NB haha I feel so in the middle

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        Agree this is just how I feel. Like when I see muscles on really any other girl than me, I'm like oh yeah thats super cute. But when I see them on me I'm like oh no I look like a man :( but it's dysphoria brain

    • LocalOaf [they/them, ze/hir]
      ·
      3 months ago

      Relatable

      I'm pretty comfortably NB (demigirl I guess if I wanted a more specific term than NB? I just mostly go with NB though)

      dysphoria stuff

      Love having strong legs but don't like the size of my calves

      Love squatting a lot of plates but wish my ass was softer looking

      Idk

      Botox makes you lose muscle definition or something? I've never heard of that

    • Thallo [love/loves]
      ·
      3 months ago

      Keep the muscles, Jenniferrr.

      Don't get caught up in compulsory gender expression. Be the buff gorl you were born to be.

      arm-L mari-smug arm-R

      JFC maybe I just need to like change my gender and be NB haha I feel so in the middle

      You don't need to change your gender to be buff, but... It worked out for me. NB is like gender+. You can do whatever you want!

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Yeah exactly. Like, idk maybe it's just where I am in my transition or whatever but I feel so in the middle. My boobs are looking good though lol.

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 months ago

        CW discussion about my perceptuon of my own gender and my feelings about how I percieve others in terms of how difficult their gender discovery is

        spoiler

        Honestly my gender has always been muscle girl anyway. Like, it's just a weird experience being kind of a futchy trans girl cause like, a lot of the time the world just sees me as a man or whatever. Not falling into the masc-fem binary neatly is just... More difficult to navigate. And I have friends who do fall into that binary and honestly I'm just a little jealous sometimes lol

        • Thallo [love/loves]
          ·
          2 months ago

          futchy

          peltier-laugh

          Not falling into the masc-fem binary neatly is just... More difficult to navigate

          You think this is true generally, or is this just a perception you have?

          I'm just a little jealous sometimes

          Why? Because other people more easily identify their gender?

          • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Sorry I didn't answer your question. It'salnost certainly just a perception I have. Everyone deals with different difficulties when it comes to being trans. I def have it easier than many others.

          • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Yeah idk it's just so confusing to me and then I'm like really in my head all the time so I'm always trying to figure things out. I should be CWing these things though I'm sorry

            • Thallo [love/loves]
              ·
              2 months ago

              like really in my head all the time

              Yeah, I've been there

              No need to apologize so much! I think you're a bit frazzled, but you're perfect meow-hug