The older I've got the more things have become bittersweet.

Dancing with my ex for the first time, our second first date, seeing their face flicker in the camp fire. Having our prof remind me and my friends that hanging out under the summer bloom of the tree was likely to be one of our best memories and we won't be young forever. My last ever performance and acting. Meeting a girl in France and knowing we wouldn't see each other again. The short time friend I made who reminded me to eat broccoli and going out late at night to buy some. The last time my mom picked me up and held me when I was very young. Holding a dying woman's hand as she drifted away because her family didn't want to believe she was dying. Holding my baby sister when she was born and picking her up as an 18 year old because she took too many drugs and pissed herself at a party. Hosting my brother at my place during covid cause he lost his job and watching all of star trek, him telling me he never wanted to see me again when I made him go to the hospital for coughing up blood, seeing him at a wedding and how much healthier he looks. Sitting in the aisle watching the play my ex was in, the first time I ever saw them and being very cofnused cause I thought they were a boy - nonbinary wasnt a thing yet for them or like in general. My first girlfriend killer herself after I broke up with her. Telling the boy that bought me a beer and tried to hit me up that I wasn't gay (I was a closeted girl lol).