I'll start.

My uncle tried to make ham by boiling precut ham slices. The man is in his late 50s. Because of capitalism forcing a bunch of unpaid productive labor onto women, Men never learn how to cook

  • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Cishet white guy life hack: learn to cook like 3 dishes decently and you can trick people into thinking you know “how to cook”

    • congressbaseballfan [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Lol I did this too in college. Enchiladas, various vegetable dishes (they’re all the same ffs) and ravioli

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Was the ravioli homemade with your own dough and filling or store bought dried out stuff? The answer to this question is very important to the It*lians on here

          • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
            ·
            4 years ago

            :agony:

            But to be serious again one of my favourite things to do if I have the time or money (so never lol) is to make various raviolis or a lasagne completely from scratch. It's just very relaxing to me and it always tastes so good at the end.

        • fart [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          also it doesn't count as cooking if it's just frozen ravioli imo

      • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        4 years ago

        Honestly pasta in general is a good go to. Preparation is easy, it’s more about getting good ingredients (which aren’t that much more expensive than the cheapo shit) instead of just dumping cold Ragu on to undercooked store brand noddles.

        Also what’s your go to veggie thing?

        • congressbaseballfan [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Some assortment of veggies and sautée them until they are melt in your mouth. It’s been a while since I’ve been single. Nowadays I just grill and my partner cooks. Like a good lesbian.

          • mxnoodles [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Fuck “who’s the ‘guy’ and who’s the ‘girl’” questions, it’s all about which lesbian grills and which lesbian can actually cook. (It’s my fiancee. 😔)

              • mxnoodles [she/her]
                ·
                4 years ago

                Who changes the flat tire, and who reads the manual to point out when you’re actually doing something wrong. (I know these things sometimes approach Sitcom Dad dynamics but it’s fine because my fiancee gets the bugs. 😤)

    • Mardoniush [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      This is secret women's knowledge you're letting out here. Every woman only knows three dishes and they're all "secret family recipes", one of which is "Make pasta from scratch" which elevates you to the status of food magus in the eyes of men.

    • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Yeah almost literally every guy that says they "know how to cook" is this or grilled meat lol. I seriously wonder how these people survive sometimes

      • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I make a good chili.

        Also being good at making breakfast food will always make you popular with people, and it’s not that hard.

          • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
            ·
            4 years ago

            I’m not a great cook but I can at least make decently healthy shit that doesn’t taste like garbage. A lot of it’s just being able to use seasoning well.

            • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]
              ·
              4 years ago

              Yeah I was thinking to myself "all I do is just put a bunch of seasoning on things and it comes out good" and then I realized that's basically what "knowing how to cook" is.

            • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
              ·
              edit-2
              4 years ago

              No you're reminding me of that post were a person orders their spices from A-Z and they have like, three different small containers? Fuck I'm poor but even I have a full spice rack at the minimum

          • mxnoodles [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            +1 to chipotle in adobo sauce, but I also like to put just a little cocoa powder in that bad boy.

      • cracksmoke2020 [none/use name]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Cooking home style food well isn't difficult is thing. You literally just need to follow the recipe and understand the way in which putting in more of like 5 different ingredients impacts the food.

    • TossedAccount [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      If you can boil pasta and rice, slice fruits and vegetables, bake potatoes, and toss ingredients into a stew pot or frypan you are already doing better than probably a third of cishet white guys.

    • Crucible [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Really blow them away by making them easy 'foreign' dishes, everyone is surprised my honky ass can make generic Chinese food