I'll start.
My uncle tried to make ham by boiling precut ham slices. The man is in his late 50s. Because of capitalism forcing a bunch of unpaid productive labor onto women, Men never learn how to cook
Cishet white guy life hack: learn to cook like 3 dishes decently and you can trick people into thinking you know “how to cook”
Lol I did this too in college. Enchiladas, various vegetable dishes (they’re all the same ffs) and ravioli
Was the ravioli homemade with your own dough and filling or store bought dried out stuff? The answer to this question is very important to the It*lians on here
Store bought. I wouldnt want anyone to confuse me with a damn eye-talian
:agony:
But to be serious again one of my favourite things to do if I have the time or money (so never lol) is to make various raviolis or a lasagne completely from scratch. It's just very relaxing to me and it always tastes so good at the end.
Honestly pasta in general is a good go to. Preparation is easy, it’s more about getting good ingredients (which aren’t that much more expensive than the cheapo shit) instead of just dumping cold Ragu on to undercooked store brand noddles.
Also what’s your go to veggie thing?
Some assortment of veggies and sautée them until they are melt in your mouth. It’s been a while since I’ve been single. Nowadays I just grill and my partner cooks. Like a good lesbian.
Fuck “who’s the ‘guy’ and who’s the ‘girl’” questions, it’s all about which lesbian grills and which lesbian can actually cook. (It’s my fiancee. 😔)
Who changes the flat tire, and who reads the manual to point out when you’re actually doing something wrong. (I know these things sometimes approach Sitcom Dad dynamics but it’s fine because my fiancee gets the bugs. 😤)
This is secret women's knowledge you're letting out here. Every woman only knows three dishes and they're all "secret family recipes", one of which is "Make pasta from scratch" which elevates you to the status of food magus in the eyes of men.
Yeah almost literally every guy that says they "know how to cook" is this or grilled meat lol. I seriously wonder how these people survive sometimes
I make a good chili.
Also being good at making breakfast food will always make you popular with people, and it’s not that hard.
I cook completely for myself and it's always intriguing for me to meet people that can't cook some rice or pasta
I’m not a great cook but I can at least make decently healthy shit that doesn’t taste like garbage. A lot of it’s just being able to use seasoning well.
Yeah I was thinking to myself "all I do is just put a bunch of seasoning on things and it comes out good" and then I realized that's basically what "knowing how to cook" is.
No you're reminding me of that post were a person orders their spices from A-Z and they have like, three different small containers? Fuck I'm poor but even I have a full spice rack at the minimum
+1 to chipotle in adobo sauce, but I also like to put just a little cocoa powder in that bad boy.
Cooking home style food well isn't difficult is thing. You literally just need to follow the recipe and understand the way in which putting in more of like 5 different ingredients impacts the food.
If you can boil pasta and rice, slice fruits and vegetables, bake potatoes, and toss ingredients into a stew pot or frypan you are already doing better than probably a third of cishet white guys.
Really blow them away by making them easy 'foreign' dishes, everyone is surprised my honky ass can make generic Chinese food
Russian? Is that like, some European thing? We speak American round these parts
He tried to make ham by bringing a pot of water to boil, and putting slices of ham in the boiling water
He thought that was how you were supposed to cook ham.
OH
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
I thought i was having a fucking stroke
That sounds awesome. Ham stock? Hell yeah.
Chop a couple onions, crush a few cloves of garlic, bit of salt, pepper and tiny pinch of cayenne. Toss that in a pot and cook it a bit. Toss some collard greens in there and cover with the ham stock. Cook until the greens are tender and adjust seasoning as you see fit. Serve with cornbread.
I'm convinced that OPs uncle was actually simmering country ham slices (which is a thing) and we have a bunch of shit cooks piling on in the comments when in reality OPs uncle is an awesome cook.
My gf shaved her head to a 1 and everytime somebody sees the new haircut for the first time they ask "Was your boyfriend okay with it? Does he like it?" Lmao she didn't even tell me she was getting a haircut, I found out when she facetimed me from another state. I do think it looks good, but she doesn't need permission to cut hair and it's a ridiculous amount of people that ask the same form of that question.
Yeah real "did you get approval from your handler or do I need to call him" energy, very weird.
Yeah I've got my style, I like these video game T-shirts
-A cishet white guy
Somehow I ended up with three of them that I myself did not purchase. Though, to understand my shirt wearing habits, I have a Stargate SG-1 shirt I got for free in 96 or 97 because I tinkered on the official site. I still wear it from time to time.
I can't help it, if I see a merch table my mind goes blank and I wake up an hour later with a new shirt on
I completely understand. I posted this in a band t-shirt.
Plus buying shirts at a merch table is a great way to support artists you like.
My dad just said this class I'm gonna take next sem in college will probably teach me white guilt
(its a sociology class)
Oh no! Not indulging in historical revisionism will not make white people the center of the universe! The humanity!!
As a white man, mayo is my only spice. The vinegar is a bit much tho
we don't let my dad cook because every time he does, the whole thing ends in a temper tantrum and my mom has to guide him through what to do lol
We are the most fragile people. We can't stand it when we are criticised.
Yeah get at me, no shame in Burkenstock and socks. ASK THE FUCKING GERMANS WHO BUILT THEM, THAT'S HOW THEY'RE WORN.
Oh shit I do this sometimes. But I have this thing about once I take socks off I don't want to put the same ones back on again.
never reusing socks is a good instinct that will help you avoid problems with foot fungus
They think sexually harassing me is a compliment.
Oh wait that's just all men because of the patriarchy.
Sorta off topic, but gay men who sexually harass you, but they think it is fine, because they're gay guys and don't mean anything by it? Those guys suck.
"I grabbed your tits, but I like wieners so this isn't bad."
