Bottom text, want to find me a communist qt
None of them. They're all pretty terrible. Enshittification has ensured they're literally designed to get in your way and make you feel bad about yourself to try and get your money. Full of flakey people too.
People do find success on them, but the strategy seems to be not to pick one, but to use all of them to the limited extent they let you use them without paying. Get in your six likes for the day or whatever and rotate to the next one and play the numbers game.
https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/8/23864858/roblox-ceo-prediction-adults-dating-experiences-rdc-2023
What's new here is now both parties would be adults instead of one being a Discord mod
Woah, requiring ID? That's way more than most dating apps do.
Considering what else Roblox has got up to I can't think of worse developers for a dating app.
yeah roblox is basically doing free child labor shit plus pedophilia, thanks capitalism
One of the most disheartening things I ever did was just try to cynically play a numbers+sales game on dating apps where you just try to systematically get as many dates as possible and it worked. It did damage to my psyche that I still haven't recovered from. The connections were soulless, awkward, and heart wrenching. I'm mad just thinking about it. I'm better off doing anything else with my time
That is exactly how you're supposed to use dating apps though. These services' purpose is to commodify dating and intimate human connection. On the app, your profile is the packaging that you've created for yourself to market the value that you hold as a human being in hopes that others will think that whatever value they believe they can give to you, also matches the value that you can give to them
You did the "right" thing of treating yourself as a service/product and others as potential clients to sell yourself to
Yeah I feel like early dating websites were a bit better but this is basically the meta for the apps now. I wouldn’t suggest it for most people because it’s a very hollow experience no matter how desirable you are
Ya I did this too. I did eventually meet my current partner, but the process was soul crushing. I literally have nightmares of having to date again.
One of the most disheartening things I ever did was just try to cynically play a numbers+sales game on dating apps where you just try to systematically get as many dates as possible and it worked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iLnZ4HCrfo&pp=ygUMeWd1cG5payBsb3Zl
yugopink did a great video talking about this experience, hope you recover from your expedition
There's no such thing as a cool dating app. All are designed to keep you lonely and paying. Dating apps are designed in such a way that makes grifters like Andrew Tate a whole lot of money. If you do choose a dating app, spend the number of swipes you have per day swiping and no more. Remember, dating apps are not designed to get you laid, make you happy, or find you love, they are designed to make money and that's it.
They’re all really bad and soul crushing. I’m not even talking from a perspective of someone that’s not had success, most of these apps push you into maximizing how many potential dates you can get and it’s not healthy. You’re find a lot more happiness developing hobbies and connecting naturally through them rather than juggling dates or the other awful shit women have to go through of trying to determine if the person is just using you for a quick lay
Yeah I totally feel this. I really need to just....find social shit to do. All my hobbies are solitary and I keep to myself in public.
It can be hard if you don’t live in an urban center but even things like reading groups are a very simple way to meet people. Last time I did a book group I was surrounded by middle aged women that were just entirely enamored with a guy there that reads, the bar is very low honestly. With any hobby that involves interacting with others over a long period of time you will have a huge benefit from just not being a crummy person. With women especially there is a huge benefit from just being around enough to show that you aren’t a prick
All my hobbies are solitary and I keep to myself in public.
This is 100% me. I really feel that the West has a bias against introverts, especially introverted men. Like, there's nothing inheritly wrong with enjoying one's own company more, but FFS our culture punishes it.
it's cool how we have to decide between the mental self-harm of apps and the risk of physical harm catching covid to have a chance at evaluating the risk of intimate partner violence.
imo hinge is the best app, but it depends on where you live & none of them got me into my current relationship
I was watching a fd signifier video "what makes a man desirable" a person on the show Noah Samson or the dude with the mustache said that he was most successful on that app (hinge) for his creative voice prints because he was able to show his personality
The places I had the most luck meeting people have been athletic clubs and college alumni meetups. I'm an old OKCupid head, but managed to get out of the dating game before "superior" alternatives came out. I did meet some girls on there but we never really clicked. Going to actual events and meeting people socially was less stressful and got me in with whole social circles rather than one-offs. I joined a volleyball team with my roommate and ended up going out with a couple of different girls I met in the rec-leagues. They were all fun dates, and while they didn't stick we were on friendly terms for years after.
My sister met her current long-term SO on Tinder, but only after striking out on dozens of guys of varying creepiness. I've got a friend who does the works - Tinder / Bumble / etc - and gets laid regularly but rarely makes it past the third date. But there's definitely some enshitification thats made them worse over time.
Fwiw I found my wife of ~7 years who was my gf for ~3 years prior to that on OkCupid but that was ~10 years ago so maybe at this point it might as well be a different app idk
Went through a long series of bad, horrendous, and occasionally soul crushing dates before that so uh be prepared for it to suck a lot but like the IRA said to Margaret thatcher, we only have to be lucky once
I do a lot of mutual aid work, but thats never really led to anything. I'll just get ALL the apps, at least maybe I can have a bit of fun for a while.
In my experience, you really need the post mutual aid relaxation event to make that work.
Like, at the thing, its all business. But if everyone heads off to the bar together afterwards, you get to connect with people.
Sorry to hear things didn't work out. I'm sure you'll find someone new, you're pretty neat
OkCupid still exists and while it's a shell of its former self, people on there tend to be more "different" or "weird" from my experience in a good way. If that's what you're into.
Huh, here it's the conservative Catholic dating pool. >.< Used to be the nerd one.
ATM I'm finding the most queer/alt/neurodivergent people on Feeld, but it also only really works in big cities.
omg im so sorry :( ur week sounds terrible
yeah they all suck, so do what fourteeneyes suggested. in my experience ppl on tinder are more interested in hookups while bumble and hinge (more conservatives on hinge) are better for finding a relationship. i found my gf on bumble and it only took a month. and this was after using tinder for 3 months and meeting a bunch of ppl who i liked but were just wanting hookups/fwb and then a small handful of ppl who did want a relationship but one of us wasnt interested. bumble feels a lot more oriented toward relationships
wishing you the best! i hope you have better luck soon
Bumble is how we met. Probably gonna download it again soon.
Thanks! I'm gonna try and repair things, but idk right now
We're watching you... scum.
get down with the king
down with the king