I’ve never done or said a transphobic thing in my life.
“-phobia” means “fear,” and I’m not afraid of redacted! Will someone tell me what is so transphobic about wishing redacted didn’t exist?!
Please someone. Anyone. @Beatnik is drunk with power. When I see posters getting banned for posting transphobic things... well, I am terrified for the future of my account.
“When they came for the transphobes, I said nothing, because I was not transphobic.”
CHAPOS! IS THIS THE FUTURE YOU WANT?!
This person is literally too creative to be the real JK Rowling. JK Rowling named her werewolf character "Wolf Wolf".
Actually, "Remus" doesn't mean wolf. He's a character from Roman mythology who was raised by wolves; therefore the name "Remus Lupin" is very creative, but I'll accept the compliment, regardless.
If Remus was raised by wolves, then he is a wolf by adoption. I stand by my comment.
No no no. You can't just BE a wolf that way. Please read a book on wolf biology.
Absolute masterful execution of the bit. Like fuck me why are people on Chapo just so much wittier than the rest of the internet?
No shit. Now I kind of wish there was a TERF-Y wolf biology book for real. Just the most braindead "behold the lobster" type takes about wolf genders.
I had a very good and rational reason, but whatever I write here will be somehow construed to make me look like I'm some kind of racist. When I am, in fact, the opposite of racist. And including Cho Chang in my books proves that.
nobody:
JK: did you know wizards used to shit on the floor
fuck. I completely forgot about this one amongst all her other shitty takes. what a fuckin shitshow.
I'm trying to remember the timeline here, did she say that one before or after outing herself as a TERF?
Also, did she say that one before or after the rick and morty song that also contained that concept as a lyric? Because JKR stealing content from Dan Harmon would be a special kind of something.
it was an old, ooooold concept from back when she still saw harry potter as a silly children's thing instead of the absurdly massive series it turned out to be.
Is there a specific meaning to that emoji that I should know, or is it just a cool pic?
On mobile, if you press on the emoji, it tells you their name
as you know now, it's the freeze peach emoji.
freeze peach was a big thing with ShitRedditSays aka SRS, which was one of the few cool subreddits to have ever existed.
I'm not sure it violates poe's law or not though, it feels very over the top ironic
Mrs. Rowling before you get banned as a super big fan of HP I need to know the answer to the following questions.
Has a wizard ever taken a shit so big he couldn't disappear it?
Was Witchcraft or Wizardry involved in the magic bullet that killed JFK?
Do the animated candy frogs have souls and do they burn in hell after you eat them for being abominations unto God?
Dear @GrouchyGrouse,
Thank you for your questions.
Many wizards have taken many shits they couldn't disappear. It's embarrassing, but in this case, they must ask an older, better wizard to disappear it for them.
Neither Witchcraft nor Wizardry was involved in the death of JFK. I write this with absolute uncertainty.
The animated chocolate frogs do not have souls. They are, however, sentient, and feel entirely the excruciating pain of being devoured.
Sincerely,
@JK Rowling
Mrs. Rowling do wizards avada cadavra themselves? What are wizard suicide rates compared to muggle suicide rates?
This is gross and offensive. Give me your Twitter handle so I can report you there. The moderators here obviously don’t care about the most important liberal value: free speech!
If magic exists why do you rely on elf and goblin labor when you could enchant the means of production?
Elves enjoy performing menial tasks for no compensation. It’s in their blood. Who am I to take that from them? Or write them differently?
And goblins, well... you know what THEY’RE like.
Could you call Draco Malfoy Vape-o Malfoy? I feel Draco isn't relatable for people my age.
No. It wouldn’t make sense. I can’t just ascribe a new identity to the character that doesn’t appear in the text. It wouldn’t make any sense, and it would be pandering to vapists. Vape-llenials. Zapers. I’m not sure what they’re called.
It makes much more sense that Harry found the Tom Riddle diary because he was ripping fat clouds in the girls bathroom. Also why bathrooms? Couldn't you just do a teleportation spell on your poop and pee?
Bathrooms are important, sacred spaces for student intra-sex bonding rituals. So there must be reason for students to still use these spaces.
No, because the Soviet Union didn’t exist. The area you’re referring to is Ukraine and East Ukraine.
If Hogwarts is a libertarian utopia where the legal drinking age is 12, fanged frisbees easily capable of decapitating a grown man are a popular and kinda tolerated prank item, and there's widespread chatle slavery, why are there still public bathrooms?
It becomes a debt to be paid by the student. And if you think saddling an eleven year old with debt is wrong, have you considered that they should have just chosen not to be born, hm?
If Hogwarts is a libertarian utopia
What is the age of consent?
I know what you’re thinking, but remember, they are wizards, not muggles—the age of consent is also twelve.
I don't know what a "bit" is, but I've waited too long to denounce this den of oppression.
If you can't post here where else will people read your thoughts outside of major br*tish newspapers?
I can still enjoy Harry Potter because I believe in death of the author *cocks gun*
When they came for the transphobes I did say something! I said hell yeah
Thank you. It's been a disappointment no one has nominated my tweets, but this is a nice consolation.
I have no idea what's going on here, but I liked Harry Potter the first time around better in 1977 when they called it Star Wars .
Oh, so George Lucas's MOVIE is better than my BOOKS? How sexist and wrong of you.
Just like a male chauvinist to steal your idea and go back in time 20 years to make a movie about it.
I liked Star Wars better the first time in prehistoric civilisation when it was the monomyth
Eh, hot take maybe, but star wars is overrated. the effects and all were good for its time, sure, but no one says they're stans of the original Dracula or Frankenstein or whatever.
Your entitled to your opinion, but just so you know: you're dead wrong. 🙂
The original Dracula and Frankenstein (guessing you mean the 1930s universal ones which aren't technically the original) fucking slap and are worth watching
