and then your mom yells at you for not knowing how to shower and like damn i didnt know there was a bad way to shower, maybe if somebody taught me? grrr im mad.
Parents never taught me to shower, brush teeth, apply deodorant, shave legs, deal with period. Just got bullied by other kids until I figured it out myself. It can be a form of neglect
Feel this currently it manifests in not doing those things unless I'm going to encounter people
Yeah, I also struggle with this, along with stuff like eating food regularly because as a kid no one cared if I was fed or not. It's really frustrating how our brains get stuck and we basically just keep treating ourselves the way we were treated as children. Really hoping that therapy actually does something to fix this.
For food my solution is I design a meal that gives me everything I need for the day nutritionally complete etc, I make all I need for a week break it into 14 containers then eat 2 a day, it works cause I don't have to think about it I just eat twice a day and only have to cook once
wait you're supposed to do those things even when you're not going to encounter other people?
i feel that. i didn’t brush my teeth or wear deodorant until i was an adult because no one ever made sure i was doing it.
Took me 27 years to finally actually use conditioner. I assumed it was as scam turns out its magical shit that stops my hair going frizzy.
I refused to use conditioner because it would make my hair greasier than it already is. I started using conditioner. My hair is no longer greasy. wtf
If you were shampooing and them not conditioning, you were stripping all the natural oil from your hair and scalp and then not replacing it, which causes your scalp to overproduce oil to try and make up for the dryness.
When I first grew out my hair my mom and sisters were skeptical but were like ok. They never gave me a heads up on how to wash my hair properly and it got matted in the back a bit and I felt miserable. Broke down and asked them to just get rid of my long hair and they asked why since I grew it for a while. Well they fixed me up and said they just assumed I knew what to do and I'm like how was I supposed to know if I was never taught so I feel your pain.
You're back!
It's crazy how many things we take for granted and just assume others will know by osmosis. People end up not even knowing what they don't know and just getting frustrated.
I'm back and horny posting too. As frustrated and embarrassed as I was I do love them for taking the time to help me with my hair. My god it felt so good to have someone brush your hair when you never got that kind of thing growing up. Well after the initial embarrassment and shame went away.
You have a supportive family that's great, no shame in that 😊
Also yes, the second best part of going to the hair salon, other than your hair looking fine as hell after, is having someone wash your hair for you ugh.
I took a week break from this site and it looks like you took one too just before I got back haha.
Gonna show them my love and see about making them their favorite foods later maybe some pancakes in the morning too.
Took a week off to try to force myself to read some theory and as hard as it was I promised myself I wouldn't return until I finished one book. Went thinking I could finish at least 3 but things got in the way.
Still happy to be back and posting. My younger nephew was asking me if I was still talking to my chapo people. He likes when I talk about him here and likes hearing how y'all think he's cool.
When i got long hair i asked my cousin and it turned out she didn't know either.
Admittedly I've should have asked but it also never occurred to me. Like why do people wash their hair once a week or what products to avoid or use.
When my ADHD is really bad Ive accidentally used body wash on my hair instead, my least favorite shower outcome
I saw an all in one shampoo/conditioner/body wash in a male friend's bathroom once and I nearly gagged
The old 5 in 1 body wash/gel. Found one that claimed to be shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash and deodorant at the same time. Seriously who actually uses that stuff, there is no way it can do all of that properly. I also got grossed out when I saw it in the shops once
I used this for a bit as a young tween. It smells awful and does a shit job. I blame my dad for buying it.
i was staying at my sister's for a few days and i saw an oatmeal shampoo bottle, the label was very faded but it smelled great lol. eventually its revealed its dog shampoo. 🤷♂️
2 and a half years with no shampoo babee
Saves money and my hair looks great
As someone with really thick hair, I have had this happen several times
And it fucking sucks because as someone who likes more "manly" scents like musk and stuff because men's grooming products are usually cheap and ineffective or wonderful but expensive
And don't get me started on how fucking hard it is to find separate shampoo and conditioner
Stop using shampoo. It might cause your hair to feel oily for a few days, but if you stick with it, your natural oil production will level out and you will never need to use it again. I have long hair and haven't used shampoo for over 4 years, people always ask me how I get so much volume and how I keep it so healthy looking and I just tell them I literally never wash it and they think i'm joking, but its the secret yo. If you MUST use shampoo, make sure to also use conditioner as instructed or your hair will be a dry mess.
Everyone has dandruff, washing the oils out of your hair then desperately trying to put them back in with conditioner doesn't help and often exacerbates the problem. I used to have visible dandruff, still do (everybody does) but it is noticeably less than when I used (anti-dandruff) shampoo.
I understand the reasoning behind it and only wash my face with cold water because of it. Just doesn't work for me with the hair. Maybe if i keep it buzzed short and dont grow it out. Who knows.
PS: not everybody has visible dandruff
It might, there is some individual variation on whether people's hair can adapt to no-shampoo or not. Personally I have fine hair and I use it only two or three times a week. Make sure that if you try this you are using a conditioner that does not have silicones, or it'll all just build up on your hair and make it look gross.
reduces static electricity and prevents frizz and split ends. helps give a silky texture and if you have long hair it prevents matting. if it sounds like too much trouble to pick a seperate conditioner, Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 is the go-to product imo.
IIRC... Shampoo is soap-based, and cleans stuff out, but leaves it clumpy and tangly. Conditioner has totally different properties, it's oil-based so on a molecular level it makes hairs less likely to stick to each other.
Aaaaaaah I feel your pain with the hygiene-shaming.
Also I didn't learn how to care for longer hair until a girl I was seeing took a shower with me and showed me how it's done.
Just use conditioner instead of shampoo, but try different brands till you find one that works for you.
This, right here, is the source of the problem. If you have long hair, conditioner is absolutely mandatory to keep it from looking like an old wig you found in a gutter somewhere.
Yes, although it’s not as important.
Another thing, if you want to be about that conditioner life, is to not use shampoo. You’re using conditioner now. It will do the cleaning.
Also, it works better the longer it’s in your hair. I usually will wet my hair and then put in conditioner as step one of my shower. I’ll then leave the conditioner in while I wash my body off, and whatever else. Finally I’ll rinse out the conditioner as the last thing before getting out, meaning that I’ll have it in for about 5 - 10 minutes.
