Hey trans comrades, I got a question as a CIS. I work with teenagers and there's a decent amount of them that are trans or simply non conforming to CIS stereotypical looks. I substitute teach, so I usually don't know the names of students.
I've made a mistake before of needing to get a kid's attention and saying "excuse me young man/young lady" or "excuse me miss" or something like that. And they turn around and I've misgendered them. What's a gender neutral way to get the attention of someone that I can start using instead of gendered words?
if you type cis in all caps it makes it sound like you're referring to the group lead by the treacherous count dooku and not people who feel comfortable as their agab
also repeating what others say. try describing clothing, location, some physical attributes
If I do misgender or deadname someone I'm usually chill about correcting myself and in my experience students were chill about correcting me.
Thank you for the in depth comment, I really don't know why I put cis in all caps. I know it's from a prefix. But yeah in general I'll work on de-gendering my language.
Imo this sounds really awkward and verbose having to use the passive voice all the time etc. My ideal egalitarian system is just speaking normally but using they for everyone except when corrected, and then respecting people's preference.
When I substitute taught I went off what said student was wearing 'ex you in the yellow shirt' assuming there's no uniform, if there was then I would tap their desk or just walk up to them and get attention. Usually direct is best anyway. I hated when the roster would be outdated so you could end up accidentally deadnaming students and get everyone off to a bad start, going by lastname helped but it might set a weird tone.
This can honestly be kinda hard because there aren't a lot of nongendered terms for this, and those that do exist would definitely feel othering in this context (in the same way that being the only person asked your pronouns in like a larger introductory context is othering). My thought would be to just use some (neutral! Be careful about that part!) physical descriptions, like "excuse me, student with the black hair". Otherwise, maybe you can make a loud noise (e.g. drop a textbook on your desk) and then get that person's attention specifically when they (and others) look? Otherwise physically go over and tap their shoulder.
None of those solutions are perfect and all of them are obviously contextual, but it's what I got
"cis" should be lower case. it's not an acronym, it's a latin prefix meaning "on the same side." Anyway, just say "excuse me." It's not like the direct address makes it more clear, given it isn't their name.
For younger people, I've made extensive use of "kiddo" and "champ". But I do wish we had a proper gender neutral pronoun in English, if for no other reason than I'm constantly fucking up and misgendering people in my online D&D server, and its getting very embarrassing.
I'm a teach and struggle with this a lot because I grew up in the midwest and comical overpoliteness is really natural for me. Recently, I've found my students (early elementary) are most responsive to 'ayo'. Very little kids also find it cool and mysterious if you call them 'little one'.
With older students, if you are able to naturally and confidently say 'student' the awkwardness is manageable. Practicing to make it automatic is probably your best option. Esp. with subbing, the stakes if you flub bad are one bad day or just one bad period if you are not self-contained. Also if you are only a little uncomfortable, I recommend wearing a trans pride pin.
Hey trans comrades, I got a question as a CIS. I work with teenagers and there's a decent amount of them that are trans or simply non conforming to CIS stereotypical looks. I substitute teach, so I usually don't know the names of students.
I've made a mistake before of needing to get a kid's attention and saying "excuse me young man/young lady" or "excuse me miss" or something like that. And they turn around and I've misgendered them. What's a gender neutral way to get the attention of someone that I can start using instead of gendered words?
if you type cis in all caps it makes it sound like you're referring to the group lead by the treacherous count dooku and not people who feel comfortable as their agab
also repeating what others say. try describing clothing, location, some physical attributes
Sorry my brain autocorrects to all caps cis because I do, in fact, type often about the Confederacy of Independent Systems.
deleted by creator
To be fair, as a cis guy we do be doing that
If you're age 25-35 and your inner circle isn't discussing the threacherous Count Dooku
Yes I'm exactly that guy. Dudes rock.
"hey kid" in your oldest grandpa voice
The only proper way to address children
How do you do fellow school children?
deleted by creator
cis: not trans
CIS: THE CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS
Nitpick to your nitpick: cis is an adjective (descriptor), not a verb (action).
deleted by creator
Cis you? I don't even know you!
deleted by creator
If I do misgender or deadname someone I'm usually chill about correcting myself and in my experience students were chill about correcting me.
Thank you for the in depth comment, I really don't know why I put cis in all caps. I know it's from a prefix. But yeah in general I'll work on de-gendering my language.
Imo this sounds really awkward and verbose having to use the passive voice all the time etc. My ideal egalitarian system is just speaking normally but using they for everyone except when corrected, and then respecting people's preference.
What about “excuse me, you in the red hoodie there”? Something describing clothing, hair color, etc?
"Youse"
When I substitute taught I went off what said student was wearing 'ex you in the yellow shirt' assuming there's no uniform, if there was then I would tap their desk or just walk up to them and get attention. Usually direct is best anyway. I hated when the roster would be outdated so you could end up accidentally deadnaming students and get everyone off to a bad start, going by lastname helped but it might set a weird tone.
I'm looking forward to being a full teacher because once I learn students names this won't be a problem.
Go with "champ", "kiddo", "bucko" if you want them to be upset for a different reason
"Sport" is non gendered if a say it with a "shhh" emphasis, right?
Absolutely
First off, fyi, cis isn't an acronym.
This can honestly be kinda hard because there aren't a lot of nongendered terms for this, and those that do exist would definitely feel othering in this context (in the same way that being the only person asked your pronouns in like a larger introductory context is othering). My thought would be to just use some (neutral! Be careful about that part!) physical descriptions, like "excuse me, student with the black hair". Otherwise, maybe you can make a loud noise (e.g. drop a textbook on your desk) and then get that person's attention specifically when they (and others) look? Otherwise physically go over and tap their shoulder.
None of those solutions are perfect and all of them are obviously contextual, but it's what I got
Have a bag of rocks with you at all times and throw them at whoever you wish to address.
Only one way to address unknown children
"cis" should be lower case. it's not an acronym, it's a latin prefix meaning "on the same side." Anyway, just say "excuse me." It's not like the direct address makes it more clear, given it isn't their name.
Well, you could use second person pronouns (eg. you/your) or use a noun like "youth"...
Idk, I'm out of ideas...
For younger people, I've made extensive use of "kiddo" and "champ". But I do wish we had a proper gender neutral pronoun in English, if for no other reason than I'm constantly fucking up and misgendering people in my online D&D server, and its getting very embarrassing.
Hmm, I never thought of kid and champ...
I'm a teach and struggle with this a lot because I grew up in the midwest and comical overpoliteness is really natural for me. Recently, I've found my students (early elementary) are most responsive to 'ayo'. Very little kids also find it cool and mysterious if you call them 'little one'.
With older students, if you are able to naturally and confidently say 'student' the awkwardness is manageable. Practicing to make it automatic is probably your best option. Esp. with subbing, the stakes if you flub bad are one bad day or just one bad period if you are not self-contained. Also if you are only a little uncomfortable, I recommend wearing a trans pride pin.
i know one way
I just call them all "bro" and use inflection to let them know if they're fucking up.
id rather not be called 'bro'
I don't know about bro, but "dude" is gender neutral in my neck of the woods.