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sex comm
There's been a lot of sex talk in the megas the last few weeks. There must be something in the water. Last week, a few of us floated the idea of having a comm where sex and sexuality could be discussed without the awkward "this is kinda weird. Don't know where to post this" feeling people get posting in a mega. I think the quality of conversations we've had demonstrate that we can talk about sex without being weirdos about it.
I think it's important to acknowledge why we developed volcel culture because the sub was a very different demographic. The trans cuties threads, for instance, was a negative example of subjecting our users to sexualization.
However, I think now that the majority of the site is queer, the conversations will likely be more positive.
We had floated some ideas like the comm having a minimum account age requirement, being request only, being text only, and banning unsolicited DMs.
Let me know your thoughts on this.
Could attract chasers, something I'm very not fond of. Unless we're able to completely and utterly isolate it, I'm not for it.
I'm the momo chan challenge of chasers
noodling
I don't even wanna know what this was. I'm picturing a /dwg/ style thing and I want to start a transfemme militia RIGHT NOW.
I'm still tentatively in support of this, Idk how user filtering would work, given that account age hasn't stopped pure cringe before. Could easily become my first comm block! Text only would be practically required, unsolicited DM ban is good, request only is good. Would have to be defederated.
I'm not overly convinced that The Cis would not overrun the thing anyway though, like Idk. Queer-specific sexcomm? Some people, you can't give em an inch on this stuff. Also I'm just a clown who is not a mod and does not run the site.
It was basically a comm for trans people to post lewd photos of themselves, which is just kind of a bad idea on the face of it for many reasons.
purging cissies was good for this site
Cathartic I bet
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Idk I think the cis are innocent until proven guilty.
I do not lmao not a chance in hell. Maybe a couple of em are okay, but naaaaaaaaaaaah not a chance. Fwiw the caliber of cissie is much higher here than anywhere else due to purges, but Idk.
It's not even that I think they're all bad, (I do, but) I also just think a lot of the cis have never been anywhere near a trans person having discussions of sex, so I see a lot of worrisome potential.
I'm going to throw myself under the bus and I hope you'll give your honest thoughts.
What's the difference between that and me (or some other baby trans)? I haven't been around trans people much. This mega is basically everything. I don't think I was radically different before my shell (mostly) broke.
You are trans. There is all the difference in the world.
The biggest one would be that you would approach such a comm and talking to trans people in it as a trans person, to learn more about it for yourself? You also probably have far more awareness and respect than the average cis person does even just now. I haven't really seen you (or anyone else, except me lol) put foot in mouth, you approach it from a place of respect and understanding, a similar mindspace. I just do not trust the average cis, who has often devoted less than seconds of total thought to gender, to handle those subjects well. Brainworms get dug out in this megathread; cis people are often made of brainworms and don't even think it's bad. I might not be explaining this well...
It may well be possible to moderate such a comm the same way this one is, but that'd be even more load on the mods Idk.
Whatever you say
I feel just as brainwormy as I was before.
No you're explaining it well, that makes sense. Maybe some of it is an experience thing too. And I guess if it is just for trans people, then it not allowing cis people makes sense.
I don't think you are ✨
It'd probably be impossible to run a fully cisfree comm tbh, Idk how you would do that. Which sucks but y'know...
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You try, and already know stuff from being around here. Cissies usually haven’t even thought to try to understand us.
Maybe I'm not recognizing the differences between me as an egg and cis people, because I've always wanted to understand trans people. Its sad that isn't the case for the cis.
Well, you want honest thoughts, so imma be honest here. A lot of baby trans people just aren't very safe to be around for other trans people when it comes to things like residual cishetnormative habits, internalized transphobia, trauma dumping without warning and especially rampant untreated dysphoria they need to vent about without knowing how to talk dysphoria in ways that do not reflect back on other trans people and harm them. It's work helping the younglings along. And specifically in regards to your question, i usually do not feel much more comfortable discussing sex with freshly cracked eggs than i do with cishet guys. There's already some notable differences even before the crack, many transbians have always felt different from straight guys for very good reasons, but there'll also be tons of learned behavior she hasn't unlearned yet.
Here's the main difference to cis guys, tho: Eggs can, and usually deeply want to learn to act better than that, and when you do not want to be seen as a man, you can shed patriarchal ideas much faster than somebody who has to maintain a masculine gender role. Transfems can improve on these things at a lightning pace that will never be achievable for cis dudes, not even queer cis dudes, because a transfem coming out of her shell actively wants to discard things that men feel a need to hold on to. So i'm trying my best to give the egg / baby trans crowd room to grow and to learn, and to be less harsh on them than i'd be on cis people. But yeah, it often costs a lot of spoons. I feel an obligation to do that work and give back to the community, but it can be demanding when you see somebody with a lot of baggage to unpack and don't know where to begin.
That's very fair
even if it makes me a little sad.
I'm surprised that this is a bigger reason then internalized transphobia. I would have thought that would be more of a risk to other trans people then my dysphoria/how I vocalize that dysphoria.
I really appreciate you (and all the other people!) who help give back to the community in that way, I'm sure it does cost a lot of spoons. And yes so much to shed
i guess it's more about what i encounter most often than about what fucks with me the most
At least here I tend to find that our beloved eggs
are pretty okay about knowing what to hide behind a spoiler. I click em all the time because Idk, but while I can't speak for everybody it hasn't been a problem to me tbh. I think people find unlimited hardcore dysphoria venting more fatiguing than people working through internalised bs.
I hope I spoiler everything I need to
At least for me and [personal subject that upsets me] just having a heads up that's what I'm about to read helps a lot. idk why exactly. Probably the same for dysphoria posts.
Good post. However babyish I am, I’m glad I don’t have much baggage to burden others with.
GOOD POST
I never really considered that it's work helping the younguns along, I guess I have a brain parasite that makes me enjoy it.
Also do not spend all of your spoons
it’s more like the other way around
The guilty are cis until proven innocent?
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sadly im against this. We're safe because we're in the best of our own spaces. Exposing us to the vast majority? i don't trust it.
This is a rad discussion post btw thank u for posting it
spoiler
Yeah, it's like in Japan they have that law that censors all pornography, but no politician wants to be known for repealing the censorship policy, so it's remained intact for years.
I don't have that fear
Keep it in mega. Number go up. Also, yeah people here aren’t creeps, just talking about things normally.
yessss, party in the sex mega
spoiler
I would appreciate such a comm, although I am far too ashamed to be a regular poster.
Although I also don't mind if people just continue to post that kind of thing in this mega :lea-shrug:
Do kinda wonder if it's not better suited to just stay in the mega tbh...
The mega has been good, but I feel like people are apprehensive
Really, what gives you the impression? /gen
As much as I'm prone to running away I think the sex discussions are actually really cool.
There was a poster here who said they didn't know where to post such a thing. I think I've seen that a few times. Maybe I'm remembering wrong
Tbf Idk if that's the intent for the mega, (and advertising that might be a bad idea) but sexposting has been cool fwiw =)
Could solve that by having a separate mega for that type of discussion, but that would require current mods to deal with it with the settings of this comm.
Kinda wish top-level comments could get tags that could be used for filters. Which could also be used to help some filter out other things like dysphoria posting if they're not comfortable seeing it at the moment. But a default sex-discussion tag would probably make it clear it's welcome.
This is a good idea
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