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I know some he/they and she/they people have started going they/x (they first) just cause if you tell cis people they can use either, then the cis will just use the gendered one they think matches. Trans or allies might be overcorrecting for that, that sucks sorry if you're caught up in that.
My they/them tags are mostly legacy content that needs to be removed, at least right now I think I want to use she/her exclusively in the future.
Unless I'm just completely misunderstanding what you're saying.
Then remove it maybe. If you want she/hers, just use that tag. Maybe it sounds weird, but your username and pfp are pretty androgynous so I guess I understand if people see it and default to they/them, taking a glance at your pronouns. I default they them (for others regardless of gender) no matter what, personally. I like she/hers too, tho.
The thing is I completely understand defaulting to they/them online and do the same, you don't really see any of my presentation online. Right now my presentation irl is completely a guy, and I'd understand/be fine with someone using he/him but once I start changing that... You know?
I remember the inevitable "let's go around the room and say our names and pronouns" and feeling locked up cause I boymoded that day... ugh awful. I ended up saying I just wasn't using pronouns even though inside I was screaming "just use she/her pleeeeeaaase." I didn't like the idea of boymode me being so incongrous with what I wanted to be referred to as.
When I girlmode and people do the pronoun circle I say they/them usually, but yeah I feel super shitty whenever I get in that situation and I have to lie
As an egg, I was glad to never be asked my pronouns cause I didn't want to think about that.
cis folks are dumb about gender
I haven't started hormones yet so I definitely have masculine traits. Anyway I was at a party and presenting very feminine otherwise, and I got misgendered. I gently corrected the person and that was it.
I think a lot of cis people are defaulting to they them, in an effort to not assume. But they don't realize that itself is an assumption.
What I would like though is more people just asking what pronouns I prefer. And I hope we'll get there soon, but yeah cis people don't understand that it's okay to ask and I had to explain it to cis friend of mine who was not sure how they should gender somebody that was presenting very gender neutral that they had recently met. So I told her just to ask.
Which is what I do in trans spaces and with other gender non-conforming folk. I just ask.
I default they/them in real life too lol. I don’t relate particularly, but I understand.
I would advise you to use she/her as your pronouns if that's exclusively what you want people to use! Pronouns are weird, gender is a fuck, if you feel better about having a they/them on there that's understandable.
Try it out for a couple days and see how it makes you feel. If it's just too much anxiety, that's okay. You're allowed to use whatever pronouns you want to.
down with cis
Down with cis