Yeah, this will forever remain an unreachable fantasy for them. When I still dated guys, nothing made me ghost them faster
Hell yeah 😎 Agreed!
And fwiw, I don't really ghost unless I'm dealing with some creep shit. I sure was pushed to that often back then
I can wipe my own ass I just wanted someone who wouldn't tell me I was a useless removed for feeling sad
i have read this before and already agree, i am not claiming that it should be the oppressed's responsibility to teach, they obviously lack the resources and social position and excess effort. i am simply pointing out - the oppresors are not going to educate themselves. the people in power do everything they can to prevent that, their society is built to prevent that as much as possible. people's opinions are shaped by their material conditions, not 'what is obviously morally correct to me'.
That was arguably analagous to the oppressed 'educating' their oppressors. The landlords did not do it for them.
edit: in a more literal sense the party had to spend enormous effort educating people to build support, the peasants weren't magically more in tune with economics and politics than landlords. SOMEONE had to teach them.
I just like it when my partner is nice to me, and vice versa for them. I agree that the memes are pretty cringe, but I feel at that point it's more of a fetish thing anyway
I thought it was normal human behavior to not call someone a slur for feeling sad
If you can wipe your own ass the comment was explicitly not about you. What you’re describing is straight up abuse and I’m sorry anyone’s calling you names like that. I had a girlfriend while I was in college who called me a p*ssy and told me to man up whenever I didn’t do exactly what she wanted. Shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. It was real bad
And where is the border? No one explicitly expects women to be a mother figure to them, no one is conscious about it (okay the people who the post is about are and fuck them but i don't think they are a majority). Most men are happy that they can get rid of the yield of toxic masculinity and be open about their feelings .
I think it’s normal to lean on your partner emotionally and that give and take will build trust over time, but a lot of men are taking a lot more than they’re giving in terms of emotional support because they’ve been coddled for so long. If you never express your feelings you never have to process them, so a lot of guys will learn to talk about their feelings, but they’re about as emotionally intelligent as they were in 6th grade.
There’s plenty of other “mommy-girlfriend” stuff. Like there’s a learned helplessness that a lot of men do where they purposefully don’t try at chores to annoy their partner into doing it for them. Or like they’ll be in their mid 20’s and still not know how to cook, so their partner cooks the majority of the time (I personally washed all the dishes for every meal for years as a trade off for this, but being able to swap jobs sometimes is so much nicer)
Okay that makes it kind of clearer but i think we're dealing with two issues here.
One is the emotional blindness which most men are conditioned in by patriarchy. When i wanted to talk to my best friend about being autistic he simply laughed it off first. I didn't really know who to talk to in this case, i've been living among dudes since i was 14 so every message i got was that i gotta suppress that shit and so was everyone i lived with. It took years of self reflection for me to wade through all that shit but what started me off was that there was someone i could be open with my feelings about and someone who was willing to "wipe my ass" in that regards.
The other is the physical needs which i don't even really have a hold of. I haven't been living at home since i was 14 so i've learned to take care of myself in that regard fairly quickly and i didn't experience in my friend circles that it was so fucked up with other young men or haven't really thought about it but now that you say it it is indeed a problem.
What if my flaw is compulsively quoting Stargate SG-1 at inappropriate times?
So that makes it totally ok! See, she's really like a thousand, she just is trapped in a small kids body!
im not equipped with the right theory to explain this rn but this shits gotta be an expression of patriarchy, right?
expecting a partner to be like a mother is expecting them to perform all the domestic labor for free and shit
and Freud talking about it like a universal psychological thing makes sense coming from highly patriarchal europe at the time, where basically every man was socialised to be an abusive manchild who lords over the women in a household. expressing economics & power dynamics in psychological terms necessarily sounds stupid but the nut of real was under there & that's why people connected with his work
idk maybe im talking outta my ass
100%
The labor part is there, but there’s more to it. I feel like my analysis kinda branches away from materialism so I wanted to acknowledge it.
The ‘mommy’ thing is an outgrowth of toxic masculinity. The only time a man is ‘allowed’ to be weak is when his social life is defined by being a child and son, where most of the comfort and nurture comes from his mother. Since the expectation is that a man, and by extension boyfriend, is hard, stoic, and alone, guys are caught in a contradiction between what’s expected of them and their need to feel loved. It’s hard to imagine a relationship where a girlfriend is ok with their boyfriend being emotional and ‘weak,’ so they imagine a relationship that takes the shape of the only other time it was ok for them to be nurtured; that of a mother and child.
Now this obviously has a lot of baggage and is unhealthy, but I think it is a natural reaction to the cultural conditions men grow up in.
Also, I don’t mean to excuse any of Kanna’s or Tankgirls experiences, just try and explain why I think this exists.
This is the best explanation I've seen on this so far. The other explanations of "they want their girlfriend to be a mom and take care of everything for them", while good, don't apply to men that are fine and enjoy being independent but still fall into this weird sexist "mommy gf" thing.
And even looking at the text of the meme (lol) it seems like the majority of descriptors are about being supported, which, in isolation seem entirely reasonable. Some of those other descriptors are real problematic though, which is why it’s such a complicated topic
porque no los dos,
but a sexpest manchild doesn't get a pass for being alienated :fash-bash:
There's probably a bit of toxic masculinity starving dudes of basic human tenderness in this, yeah. Especially preventing them from expressing that toward each other, so that they exclusively seek it out from women.
Yeah it seems like the modern experience of alienation and the overhanging effects of a patriarchal society have left a lot of young guys with a genuine starvation of kindness or physical affection from others, and they end up abstracting that sincere starvation of love and emotional fulfilment into the most-similar experience they've had in their lives, with their mother.
Lord knows I can sympathize with being romantically deprived, or feeling empty and emotionally unfulfilled, but the healthy way to reckon with that is to take that longing and focus it into being a giving and active partner in a relationship with someone who enthusiastically reciprocates, not marrying some mythical ur-matriarch that will give them a completely one-sided, unqualified avenue of love framed around replicating the (possibly) sole female authority figure in their lives that social mores expects to give love and affection.
Edit: Should note I'm trying to come at the more charitable angle of all this. There's also the deeply sexist angle that can sometimes be at play, with a more conscious objectification of women as mother figures, and the subsequent feeling of entitlement to their affection without reciprocation.
Yeah. There are so many fucked-up ways that can go for people, and having spent so much of my life online I'm pretty sure I've seen most of those ways by now. :doomer:
Or like, use a really godawful ice breaker and dont realize or dont care (worse) how off putting that makes them
"i dont think i could do it, but more power to you" *eats a monstrous portion of meat during the meal
Tankgirl posting dude's Tinder Ls
Me:
:jazz-passion: :jazz-ecstacy:
I understand the appeal of "gentle femdom" but I've never cared for the "mommy" shit
Either I have extremely cerebral/non-influenceable preferences, or these guys all have legitimate mom issues
yeah these are loser cis het men who never learned to take care of themselves because mommy always did it all for them up to whatever age they moved out. it's fuckin gross
I'm a loser and my mom still takes care of my credit card shit but I still can't get into that stuff
Looks 12 acts 40
:ancap-good: :yikes:
Also nsfw this pls
I dunno 4chan is a horrid place. The :brainworms: can't be comprehended anymore.
No, Freud was just one among a minority of freaks like this. He projected his own weird issues onto literally the entirety of humanity and asserted that wanting to fuck your mom was actually a universal human drive. Admittedly a chad move if nothing else.
There had to be contemporaries who called him on how badly he was telling on himself, right?
Also his hot take of “lesbians are lesbians because they wish they had a penis”
It's a theory that's supposed to explain a certain portion of transwomen, or at least a certain portion of their desire to transition into women. Basically means that the individual is sexually excited at the idea of being a woman, or having certain "woman-like" parts (hence the pussy comment).
However, equating AGP = transwomen is fucking stupid, because experiencing dysphoria is different from AGP. Additionally, you can have AGP and ALSO have dysphoria.
It's been hijacked by terfs and chuds to basically imply that "trans isn't real", and that the entire thing is "just a fetish" because nothing reactionaries say has anything to do with understanding reality, and they are incapable of non-linear, multifactorial thinking.
because they start with the claim "trans isn't real" and then look for emotionally in-your-face statements that can imply that, without having to use "facts and logic"
"trans isn't real because they have a fetish", AKA "this black person is a criminal because smoked MARIJUANA"
the emotional operators here being fetish and marijuana. Logic isn't needed because fetishes and marijuana are doubleminusbad, so anything a user of these says is automatically null.
and his related hot take of "male-attracted women are that way because they wish they had their father's penis"
I will take this opportunity to say fuck Freud and fuck Psychoanalysis, fucking pseudoscience do more harm than good.
His teachings are insanely obsolete. Freud is treated as a God-like figure in Argentina (Almost religion-like, seriously), almost the entire University of Psychology (Part of the University of Buenos Aires) is Freudian, if you get your title here good luck finding work abroad because it wont be accepted. It appears that the world of Psychology moved past Freud and his shitty medieval-like takes, if you want to be a psychologist and your field is psychoanalysis you will get rejected literally everywhere but here, which is sad. It's a scam, from my personal experience and the experience of close friends whoever falls into a psychologist who is a psychoanalyst is doomed, it wont cure depression, it wont make any good progress, the only thing it'll do is take your money away, deepen the problems and sessions would go on forever.
Sure, Freud is regarded as the father of psychology because he was the first who took a serious look into it, and back then, everything seemed to be right. But today? There are better techniques that don't lead to patients literally taking their own lives. It's dangerous shit.
Psychoanalysis can work for some people, it just takes forever and is hella expensive.
I took on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sessions and it felt so damn good, they were quick, addressed the root causes of the problem (Especially good for dealing with anxiety problems, which I have.. plenty of) and wasn't expensive in the long run because you wouldn't be stuck with it for years. Unfortunately I had to discontinue treatment as the pandemic hit, but it felt like I was making a lot of progress and quite fast actually.
They're also just rephrasing the whole war on drugs/DARE rectoric from the 90s, but it's fine this time because it's against big pharma, neurodiverse and chronically ill people this time. Terrible take from them
being an ideal neoliberal subject to own the leftist
I also never said I don't believe in mental healthcare. Simply that modern psychology is not particularly more or less effective than psychoanalysis.
Medication is vastly over-prescribed, and the industry is set up to benefit doctors and pharmaceutical industry at the explicit detriment of the patient.
Unironically repeating war on drugs/DARE rectoric but it's fine this time because it's against the "pharma masters"
Lol
The pharma industry existing to hook people on exploitative drugs is like... the opposite of DARE rhetoric (not "rectoric" lmao are you 8 years old....).
DARE punishes the drugs that people take to escape their condition whereas pharma pushes drugs to keep you placid in it.
Very disappointing to see oxy/benzo/SSRI pushers on this site! Your time defending this kind of drug policy would be better compensated at McKinsey or Boston Consulting Group.
I guess this might just be a function of the average age on 4chan increasing towards 30+. Doesn't seem to have been passed down to zoomers.
You’re at 3 reports right now; I’ve already resolved them. Keep on trucking.
