That's right CEOs please get behind the wheel drunk and back your Tesla into a retaining pond.

    • Rom [he/him]
      ·
      8 months ago

      Did they get her sperm in time?

  • zed_proclaimer [he/him]
    ·
    8 months ago

    she and her billionaire friends just got done with a Pitbull concert and she drunkenly drove her Tesla into a lake

    The rich are honestly parodies of themselves. How did she not die of cringe before dying of drowning?

  • LibsEatPoop [any]
    ·
    8 months ago

    Queen. The Lisan al-Gaib of CEOs. The Muad'Dib of dying. Let her be the first of many.

  • AutomatedPossum [she/her]
    ·
    8 months ago

    Honestly, i wasn't expecting otherwise. My experience with people who can afford a good lawyer is that they already care a lot less about DUIs, and i doubt this gets any better when you can just hire somebody to drive you if your license gets revoked.

  • Goblinmancer [any]
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    Billionares are so frugal now they wont even hire drivers

  • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    8 months ago

    Skill issue.

    I would simply not drunk drive a Musk Murder Machine into a pond. But maybe I'm just built different.

    chonky-bear

    • abc [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      8 months ago

      A video of the exterior of the south side camera captures Chao at 11:37 p.m. walking “unsteadily to her vehicle while continuing to hold her cellular phone in her right hand,” according to the report.

      Chao is later seen entering her Tesla. The report stated that the camera then captured the car lurching toward a wooden barrier, reversing, turning to the left without stopping, and over the top of the limestone block wall. Afterward, the vehicle entered the water. A minute later, the vehicle’s lights were no longer visible.

      Also lmao why didn't she just WALK?? she had to drive?? she was on her property!! she could've just left the car and walked the like quarter of a mile!! I'm assuming her 'ranch' is huge as shit and the guest house is far away but still.....I would've just walked rip-bozo-grave

        • abc [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          8 months ago

          if this story plays out for another news cycle I'm sure we'll see it sooner or later. "TRAGIC LAST MOMENTS OF ANGELA CHAO. FRIENDS ARE STILL WONDERING IF THERE WAS ANY FOUL PLAY" on Fox

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]
    ·
    8 months ago

    What if Musk is secretly a class traitor trying to kill off his own kind, but Teslas killing normies was an unintended side effect?

    think-about-it

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
    ·
    8 months ago

    In 2009 she married a billionaire. He died a few months later. And then in 2012 she married another billionaire.

    Angela Chao

    Personal life

    Chao married Bruce Wasserstein in January 2009, just months before his death in October of that year. She married Jim Breyer in 2012.

    Also - as her car was sinking - she was on the phone to her friend for eight minutes.

    Death

    On the evening of February 10, 2024, Chao was celebrating the Lunar New Year with friends at her Johnson City ranch. As her guests began going home, she got into her Tesla Model X and accidentally backed into a pond. The car began sinking. Unable to open her door or to break the glass, the car filled with water. Chao was on the phone for eight minutes as the car sank, from around 11:42 to 11:50 p.m., telling her friend she was going to die. Onlookers called 911 and attempted to help.

    Blanco County emergency personnel arrived around midnight and tried to enter the car. A deputy broke the driver’s door window and went underwater where he found Chao and dragged her to shore. EMS workers were unable to revive her, and she was pronounced dead at 1:40 a.m. on February 11; she was 50 years old. A March 2024 police investigation concluded that Chao's blood alcohol level was three times above the legal limit, and that her death was the result of an accident.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      ·
      8 months ago

      Bruh 8 minutes with bystanders and nobody could break a god damn window? Go get a hammer for fuck's sake.

      • FloridaBoi [he/him]
        ·
        8 months ago

        Tempered glass doesn’t break easily which is why it’s useful to have those special pointed hammers for breaking windows in the car.

        • Awoo [she/her]
          ·
          8 months ago

          I know that but any nearby house would have a forked hammer surely. Go smash down doors. All social rules disappear when a life or death emergency exists fuck everything else, you go and bash someone's door down and scream what you need at them. If you can't swing that thing under water properly place the sharp point on the surface and kick it.

          I don't understand how people can lack action in an emergency like this. Half these bystanders probably stood around watching instead of trying to do something.

        • Egon
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          deleted by creator

      • SoyViking [he/him]
        ·
        8 months ago

        Live your life in a way such that when you crash your bazingamobile into a pond people around you will actually want to save you.

      • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
        ·
        8 months ago

        I would not go to the trouble of lifting a finger to save a drowning billionaire, much less get my clothes wet for one.

  • betelgeuse [comrade/them]
    ·
    8 months ago

    Getting absolutely blasted on sangria, trapping myself inside a giant bug zapper, and reversing into a lake.

    • CloutAtlas [he/him]
      ·
      8 months ago

      This is the leading cause of death in The Villages, Florida (besides old age)