So umm there's this girl in my school and she's really cute and I like her what should I do
you should probably just steal glances at her and never talk to her and feel all sad and mopey about it
Never have so many suffered such crippling wounds from so strangely specific a comment
Make sure you have a wad of cash on hand and you'll be ready to plow
I was expecting "pee pee poo poo."
Anyway, try talking to her. Do you have any shared interests? Talk about that. And --this is key -- LISTEN to what she says. Conversations are two sided. Go get 'em, champ.
Well I should mention that I do know her. Like, I'd say we're friends. This is mostly a shitpost. I am planning to ask her out soon though
Also pee pee poo poo
Unfortunately her father lives on the other side of the world in Thailand, so I've had to resort to Plan B of asking her out
Go up to her and say "You're cute, want to get coffee?" If you're self-perceptive enough to know why you think she's cute, replace "You're cute" with a legit compliment like "I like how you matched your shoes to your earrings" or whatever. If you don't drink coffee, pick something else. If you've never talked to her, replace "Want to get coffee?" with "What's your name?"
Compliment (cute), communicate intent (starting a conversation with a compliment is clear enough) a clear plan (coffee) and low stakes (coffee).
You could complicate this, but if she's interested in you it'll work, and if she's not then nothing will. So do the short version and be mortified at yourself later (which you will be success or fail).
Not as much.
Asking earlier is definitely better when possible. It's not always an option though; I know I take ages to figure out I like someone. (So if someone has good advice for this situation I could use it myself.)
The best advice I have is just to gradually flirt more. When it's really blatant on your end and moderately clear on theirs, then, mid-through-blatant-flirting, ask them out on an obvious date. Flirting is sort of like... plausible deniability for our own feelings so we can express them without as much emotional risk. And there's always an illusion of transparency, which is why you want to keep going until your side is very very obvious (because it's less obvious on the other end).
Back in my, back when I was young we used to go to the diner a lot for coffee and there was one, there was a night where Me, Long John, Willy-boy and Ricky Tic Tac were all out getting coffee. We were talking about the game and Willy was saying to me "Joe they're gonna win" and then this diner, this girl, she walked in at the diner. Back in those days mind you, you could smoke in the diners, but I didn't smoke cause my uncle used to always say his friend in the great war died from the smokes. Anyways this girl was smoking and I pointed her out to TIc Tac and he goes "oh that's Marcy Mae, cutest girl from three towns over" And Johnny went "awoooooga" she's a fine lady. She was from Bunkstown, where them bunkers used to live and I went there in '83 to meet some folks, help 'em through the rough years they were facing down there but that was later. So anyways, Johnny dares me to go talk to her 'cause I said she was fine looking and so I walk over when all of a sudden this fella, steps out and says to me "Where're you going?" and i recognized him from down by the pool. It was Ol' Applejack and we called him applejack because he used to throw apples at me while I was working the pool.
Applejack looks me up and down and says , uhh... he says "where ya going Joe?" and he pulls out a cane. Now back in the day when you'd walk out of - walk into your house you'd leave your canes by the fire so they'd dry out and harden up overnight and Applejack's cane was the hardest in town. So I told him to put that thing away and to quit being a scoundrel or else I'd have my buddy Strom take care of him. Strom wasn't actually going to do anything but Willy-boy came and backed me up and we drove Applejack out of there, sent him packing right back to the pool.
Anyways I started walking again and I uhh.... I started walking towards, Macy and I asked her what she was smoking because it smelled kinda funny and she tells me it wasn't no Marlboro cigarette. No wait it was a Marlboro so I asked to take a puff and she looked at me kinda funny so I gave her the smile my old man taught me would always make a girl swoon and she gave me her cigarette. Now I didn't smoke cause my uncle used to always say his friend in the great war died from the smokes but I sucked long and hard on that Marlboro till I was red in the face.
I woke up on the floor and Tic Tac was standing over me, saying Applejack suckered me real good while I was smoking that cig and started harassing me and Mary. And he goes "Joe, you socked him twice, taught him a lesson he won't forget, but looks like miss Madeline is the one who got away." Anyways, that's... what was the question again?
Joe, I appreciate the advice, but could you please let go of my shoulders and stop sniffing me
Now back in the day when you’d walk out of - walk into your house you’d leave your canes by the fire so they’d dry out and harden up overnight and Applejack’s cane was the hardest in town
That makes him less scary. It's the flexible bendy canes that REALLY hurt
OH THIS I CAN HELP YOU WITH first i need you to understand there are millions of people on this earth so don't get discouraged if this does not work, so, just talk to her, discover if she has similar interests to you so you can talk and remember YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS and stuff you know
Be polite, and ask her one day (away from her friends) if she wants to go out sometime. You either get a yes or no. If yes, great! Get ready for your date. If no, be polite to the person, tell them thanks for the honesty, and move on. You’ll find someone/ones who likes you for who you are, even if you’re a dirty liberal. Keep your head up, royalty👑
Tying someone up to fuck their family and establish dominance definitely contains no rape connotations.
"I deleted my rape joke. Happy now, liberal? Truly, the woke left will be the end of humor."
I guess? Doesn't really seem like you see what's wrong with it still.
You say you don't joke about it, and you probably didn't intend it as malice, but that's where the humor in joking about tying someone up to have sex with their family member in front of them specifically to establish dominance comes from.
"Fuck her dad" might be a common joke among the left, but not phrased that way.
