I'm looking for a job, but my resume is pretty scarce. I'm starting to think that's why I haven't been getting any interviews at all. Usually I'm too nervous to lie, but I have no real choice right now, so I'm trying to think about any obvious holes that might end up in my story.
Make sure any companies you mention existed, but no longer exist. Or say you worked for Twitter since they don't have a HR department.
Or say you worked for Twitter since they don’t have a HR department.
:picard-troll:
Make sure it's something they probably don't know about either. If you're not good at lying, consider this long overdue practice. Plus all they can do is not give you a job, which I'm guessing is what you think would happen if you told the truth, so fuck it. Stay brief, vague on some things and make up a few specifics for others, mix it up a bit. If you can improv an anecdote, do that.
Being good at lying takes practice. There are also people that you shouldn't lie to, but there are sooooo many people you really need to be lying to at all times, your boss, the government, your extended family, god, guys like that. Look to Garak and George Costanza as your spiritual guides
Make sure you know the names of the people you used to work with and what they did. Especially your previous supervisors.
Don't make up a company.
All companies can looked up (typically for free) on a states website.
You can also use this to find a company that no longer operates.
I was thinking of making up freelance work instead of using a dead company that they might be able to contact the owner of. But I've never actually done freelance work before so I have no idea what kind of questions they'd ask about that.
Depending on the work possibly a example/portfolio and the contact information of any clients willing to talk about your skills/work.
Not friends exactly, but I have family who I don't share a surname with who would do it for me if I asked.
I figured they'd be able to verify names by looking up the phone numbers, is it unlikely they'd put effort into that?
Add quantities so the lies are sustainable, and give them what they’re looking for in skills / experience. Also little white lies boosting your skills help too
You're most likely to be asked to verify work history if you're applying for a higher level management job, and they could ask for tax documents if they want something concrete. The more recent or big your resume enhancement is, the more scrutiny it'll be under. If the company was bought out, their employment records might still be accessible somewhere through the company that bought them out.
You want to make sure that your story lines up with the story of the company, make sure that your employment dates are before the company ceased operations and that you're claiming you worked at a company location where one actually existed. You want to make sure that you can back up anything you say you can do on your resume with at least a little research. If you land an interview, you'll probably be asked some job-specific details about what exactly you did there and what you are familiar with within the role.
Make stuff on your resume that's not true easier to believe than it is to check and you'll be good.
If you’re not getting any interviews your resume might be the problem. I was in a similar position last year, although I had 3 years of experience I had taken 2 years off during Covid but I managed pretty well.
These days I like giving resume advice, I even comment on r/engineeringresumes for fun. I’d be happy to help if you like, you can send me your resume for critique.
That being said if you’d set on lying, here’s a good guide:
https://www.reddit.com/r/overemployed/comments/12rt6rq/how_to_put_any_fake_role_or_company_on_your_resume/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&utm_content=1&utm_term=15
And if you don't want to lie about certain things (why not though) there's an easy way to cram keywords.
Use a resume/cover letter combo in the same document. Create a 2 column table of the job requirements in column 1 and your experience relating to each item in column 2
Listing says:
- Nice to have: experience with Photoshop
So your resume will say:
| Nice to have: Experience with Photoshop | I have 5 years of experience with GIMP and Corel |
Look you threw the exact keyword into your resume and launched yourself to the top of the robotically selected pile, and didn't even lie about anything. Do this with everything they want and especially everything you think they'd throw into a keyword list
And if you don’t want to lie about certain things (why not though)
because it's exhausting, and the whole capitalist neurotypical song and dance makes me want to die?
Definitely. I have autism and it makes me hate lying to people. Not for any moral reason when it comes to job hunting, I'd steal from businesses instead of working for them if I were absolutely certain I'd get away with it. But the act of telling the lie makes me extremely anxious that I'll overlook something important and sound like an idiot.
Oh yeah for sure, if I lie about something like that I spend time to get that shit straight and half-believe it myself
Be realistic with what you can get away with. Anything really outstanding or impressive, or something that your whole resume hinges on, might get extra scrutiny. Anything that confers a skill that you might be able to teach yourself in detail is good, because it gives you the ability to "prove" that it is true.
Tell them you're former military, what are they gonna do call up the defense department lmao
Actually, yes. There are some tax incentives that businesses can sometimes claim for hiring former military dorks and they'll absolutely ask for your DD214.
Depending on what you're applying to putting down volunteer experiences/projects might be beneficial as well. Also remember that exaggeration can get you everywhere!
Some good info on these previous threads:
https://i.imgur.com/eLWjWCf.png
https://i.imgur.com/YGHuJ4p.png
