BRO HE’S FUCKING DEAD
billionaire brain running through permutations to solve crisis
- tell an employee to save us
- hire a contractor to save us
- let the market decide how best to save us
- hire an engineer to build a device that saves us
- pay someone to kill everyone else to save oxygen
- eat all the other food rations and use the extra calories to out compete everyone else in the marketplace of oxygen
The ceo needs to build a profit incentive first for them to work together and find a solution that lets them live. If they die, it is simply an action of the invisible hand of the free market, culling the unprofitable
I do suspect that the billionaire literally did kill or try to kill the two other passengers and the employee so it was just him and the CEO (who is also the pilot) taking up air.
Absolute brain genius making banging sounds every half an hour that could be interpreted as coming from the submersible or could be from other things, rather than making a sound that is unambiguously human in origin, like the S.O.S. pattern that has been used in maritime emergencies for over a century for this exact purpose (edit: to include the very disaster they were diving to look at).
Every time a discussion about what kind of dead they are happens I hear the shake hands with danger theme
You can’t follow everyone else’s lead and hope to be successful. Gotta disrupt! Innovate the field of emergency signals!
DUDE ITS A TIN CAN
ITS A TIN FUCKING CAN
IF IT DOESN'T WORK THEY CANNOT "MAKE" IT WORK FROM NSIDE THE CAN
this is what i keep trying to explain to people about capitalism
There are no jokes I can make about this that aren't extremely horrifying because being stuck in the iron lung sub is about the worst thing I can imagine, but despite all that this is still funny,.
they definitely drowned probably because the window caved in from the pressure. This is like the recent news story about someone that tried to swim the channel and went missing. He's not missing he's clearly drowned
They wouldn't have had time to drown, the explosive compression likely killed them before water even got to their lungs
One day a real rain will come and wash away all th -- wait no not like this!
Hammering out a series of prime numbers so the Deep Ones will recognize that I am a fellow intelligent being and carry me to Ry'leh for an audience with their lord.
"Sonar teams have detected a faint chanting coming from where they believe the sub is wrecked, leading experts on the ground to assume the sub has accidentally broke open the gates of the Sunken City. The flood times are upon us folks, pray that you will be devoured first.
And now to our weather correspondent..."
Nah don’t want to make it too easy, gotta keep those rescuers guessing.
Personally I'd go with the beat from Funky Town. Life's not worth living without music.
I'd do Cbat, no point in dying if I can't make a really stupid joke when I go
It'd be pretty funny if by some fucked up miracle they survive and are found and the ceo just fucking does it again and the situation just keeps repeating itself
That's basically what's happened, the submarine got lost for 5 hours once, and those aboard the Mothership cut off the internet connection to prevent people onboard from telling anyone. They wanted to add a transponder to the submarine after that, but the CEO said no lmao
the Mothership cut off the internet connection to prevent people onboard from telling anyone.
Peak
mindset.If the CEO called the person that wanted to add the transponder a "pedo guy", it would have been a 69420% ELON MOMENT™
Probably with no more improvements than a slightly more expensive PS3 controller.
Guts even more features from the sub because he believes it was "over engineered"
The problem is we got it certified too much! They loosened it up for the ocean
They would all get to read all the shit everyone has been talking about them when we thought they would die lol
He totally would too, if there's one things these terminally bourgeois types can be trusted to do is be major fuck ups.
like that one guy who kept going to warzones until the British government just gave up and said we aren't rescuing you from any more warzones
Last known information is that he was imprisoned by the Taliban in Afghanistan, supposedly he still is.
This reminds me of the Crypto scammer who was able to lie about who he was and what he did for a living to powerful executives simply because he spoke with confidence. Confidence doesn't just make you more attractive. It also plays a big part in how successful you are because the rich are easily influenced by vibes.
The stock market is basically vibes if you think about it. It goes up or down depending on how certain ghouls feel
Using my extreme powers of logical deduction to conclude that it is a good idea to be bolted into the repurposed carbon fiber sewer pipe steered with a discount video game controller
Why hasn't he simply pulled himself out of the water by his own bootstraps?
He's trying. By using publicly funded organizations to help recover his wealth hoarding ass.
Morse Code is just dumb people shit. Our omega enlightened Billionaire gigachad is sending signals in traditional Chinese
Broadcasting an extremely loud, annoying noise every 30 minutes on all RFA frequencies
The bourgeoisie are human bodies yet to undergo ensoulment, so it would only serve to confuse potential rescuers
Yeah lol, it's not like it's complicated complicated, even I know how to say SOS in morse code
With the benefit of hindsight, we know that they didn't because they instantly became a chunky marinara paste.
The banging noise was just him having brain blasts every 30 minutes.
Wait, what happens next? I need to know. Soon please, my friend is dying.
how many of each others farts do you think they huffed before the pressure crushed them into a jelly
