I consistently have this issue where I legit cannot tell if someone is being snarky or mean it just bounces right off. Then i spend ages wondering if a certain phrase was meant to be an underhanded insult or not or what the subtext was supposed to be.

    • jaywalker [they/them, any]
      ·
      2 months ago

      There's another comment saying they just assume everyone loves them.

      Delulu really is the solulu

  • LanyrdSkynrd [comrade/them, any]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I do that, but I'm trying to stop. Someone will say something or make a face when I say something and I'll obsess over what it meant for ages. I usually come to the conclusion most damaging to my psyche.

    I'm trying to just assume everyone loves me and that they'll tell me if they dislike me or I said something cringe. I think it's the best way for me. I might miss a sneaky insult or not react to someone's dislike of something I've said, but I'll be happier.

  • ButtBidet [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Previously yes. It's something that has gotten better with reading, therapy, and supportive relationships. I blame the lack of adult relationships growing up, as i think it's something that needs to be taught.

    I know that a "support network" can be hard to obtain, but it's helpful to have mates to bounce things off of. Hexbear can do that for certain situations.

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Relatedly I have a hard time with people trying to do a gotcha! to be dismissive. I remember a moment where a lib asked "why don't you just go live in Russia, then?" For them in their world, that's like a final judgement - you clearly don't care about this DEMOKKKRACY so FUCK OFF. It simply didn't have that connotation for me and I missed the perception check so I was left wanting for discourse going "but Russia is yucky blah blah blah" when the conversation had already ended.

    I chalk it up to them being a dweeby weirdo who relies on the luxury of some sort of strength/assumption instead of learning to communicate. Usually life, fate, and time have a way of frustrating them for doing so, therefore I just try to associate with people who value clear communication.

  • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I’m relatively decent at judging intentions for an autist, but it’s very difficult to know whether I will be perceived as mean or not.

  • ashinadash [she/her]
    ·
    2 months ago

    yea I never wonder tho I'm just fully oblivious

    On the other end, the few times I'm legit trying to be mean it never seems to work, where people assume I am being mean at random lol

  • anarchoilluminati [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I think so.

    I was literally just minutes ago thinking about something a friend said to me back in like 2016 and realizing, "I actually think they were being really racist." It was a kind of subtle slur. Should've defended myself but I didn't even catch it. Oh well.