She likes cooking and I hate cooking. She’s sort of into the cottagecore aesthetic. Am I doing a misogyny
Yes you are actively taking part in the cottage core to neo Nazi pipeline
More of a series of Krazy Straws looped together than a pipeline, but still just as dangerous!
i'm torn between finding cottagecore vaguely reactionary and genuinely enjoying the vibe of mushroom picking and embroidery lmao. real leftism is hating urself for liking things
I think cottagecore is a strong reaction to being continually alienated from the products of your labor and vaguely scared about what societal collapse will mean for you wherever you are. It's immensely satisfying to bake bread and grow produce and fix things and make things that you then directly consume, and it's a relief to know that you have those skills and won't be 100% SOL if the world gets measurably worse soon.
I guess the left version of that is communecore, which is just "you and some of your friends all get together to do cottage core in a group"
My gf's best friends are moving in thinking we're gonna practice cottagecore, but secretly it's communecore preparing for collapse.
i don't live in a settler colonial state so i never connected that tbh. i think for me the discomfort lies more in feeling like i'm doing a Marie Antoinette, valourising the "idyllic countryside life, where everything is slow and sweet". irl the only farmer i know is my grandma's brother in ukraine, and i'd absolutely hate and be terrible at living like him. i also just think everything about glamourising "the past" (esp as i live in Austria) has to be examined really critically?
i genuinely love a lot of the aspects of cottagecore individually. like the past few years i've started crocheting, going into nature more, reading up on folklore, trying to buy stuff made of natural materials instead of plastic more, etc. and yet somehow when it's all put together into one aesthetic it makes me uneasy. 🤷♀️
edit: ok i went and thought about it some more haha. i think it's also that i live in a country that has a strong "bauern"/"farmer" aesthetic anyway - going hill walking, and ooh look there's cows as soon as you walk 10 mins out of town and up the hill, and look at all these cute little wood carvings of geese, we're this cute little farmer country in contrast to those germans, and even if people don't live in the countryside it feels like most of the "proper" austrians have some relative who does. and i really do enjoy it, but a part of me wants to scream, "ok i see here's ur cute little wooden duck, and i see there's ur grandpa's vintage SS knife." and i totally get that people who live in the US and the UK bring completely different cultural baggage to the aesthetic with them (e.g. colonialism), but i can't help mine lmao. sorry for the rant.
UK bring completely different cultural baggage to the aesthetic with them (e.g. colonialism)
dunno what colonial baggage it has in the uk, we didn't rob the land they would live their idyllic rural fantasy on from native people here
i guess if you're English but your idyllic cottage is set in the Scottish Highlands? idk, i know nothing about UK Cottagecore Discourse, i just watched a video on cottagecore by a British person and she mentioned colonialism so i rolled with it.
eh, i wouldn't call that colonialism, scotland wasn't an english colony, it was a rival kingdom that eventually got absorbed into the english one
I think there is an important point to be made here that you can enjoy things in your own way without "contaminating" yourself with reactionary. Don't let assholes ruin what you enjoy just because they claimed an aesthetic. They're only socially hegemonic if they're the only ones engaging in an aesthetic. Do I even make sense lmao, I'm fukken still drunk from last night
The bit answer is yes but the serious answer in case you were expressing a serious concern with half-jokes is it sounds like ya'll are just playing to yr strengths, as long as you make an effort to pull your weight in other ways it sounds fine
Learn to make scratch pizza. It's easy and you can make like 3 days worth of delicious food for $20.
On the flip flop, I do all the cooking and kitchen shit and my wife does all the cleaning (she finds it therapeutic and I suck at basically all cleaning save for the grimy shit like snaking the tub and sink drain). We do the laundry together as the middle ground. Just play to your strengths and what skills you have; it’s not that one skill is better or worse or harder or easier (again, I fucking hate cleaning because I’m terrible at it) it’s just how you guys divide your labor. As long as you don’t think she’s lesser for the role she plays then you’re all set. Mutual gratitude does wonders for a relationship.
You should be cleaning the dishes to compensate, at minimum. Do nice unexpected things for your GF to show your appreciation.
gen z, and to some extent, millennials, are really into "aesthetics" which is basically a lifestyle you emulate for fun. these vary widely, (and are frequently controversial) but they usually include a certain way to dress, eat, etc. Cottagecore is an aesthetic focused on a sort of pastoral idealism where the focus is on growing gardens, usually cooking and cleaning and dressing in a country farmer style. But it varies, like i said.
fair! I dont think anyone's going out and becoming a yeoman or anything like that
I remember cottagecore being a thing with with wlw tumblr for years, it was interesting to see it come back after a while I thought it died
If you and your partner are happy with the arrangement, it is completely fine.
You just have to make very sure that's what actually happening.
Unironic answer (for anyone browsing this who's curious) - misogyny would be if you decide that you need to distribute the chores. If the two of you come to an agreement together (and I mean in a spirit of partnership, not her just agreeing to whatever you propose) then you're in the clear. If you tell her she needs to do the cooking because she's a woman, that's misogyny. If you tell her she's not allowed to do the cooking because she's a woman, that's also misogyny.
