Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy XI is the eleventh numbered installment in the… Okay, you know what it is, I’m just going to tell you about one of the storylines!
During the Wings of the Goddess expansion, adventurers will be sent back in time to experience the events of the Crystal War, a cataclysmic event that is the foundation for conflicts of the modern-day timeline. Should an adventurer choose to serve the Kingdom of San d’Oria, they will be immersed in the story of the Young Griffons—a group of children who would see themselves knights, many of whom grow into prominent characters later in life.
Among the Young Griffons, the player will find Bistillot, a shy boy who doesn’t like to be seen. With his penchant for engineering, shy demeanor, and lack of combat potential, Bistillot prefers to spend his time inside of an orcish war machine that he was able to repair to working condition.
He is often seen before he is heard, with his signature phrase, “HAAAALLOOOOOOOOO” being used to hail the adventurer. Through the course of the story, Bistillot finds his way, even contributing to the war effort with his engineering skills.
However, when another member of the Young Griffons is kidnapped and taken to the present day, the adventurer must return to the present day and reunite with the Young Griffons’ present selves! The adventurer’s first contact in the present day is Bistillot. When the adventurer hears the signature “HAAAALLOOOOOOO,” Bistillot approaches the player, but what the player sees is… a woman?? She introduces herself as Bostilette, a “friend of Bistillot.”
After the rescue mission, Bostilette comes clean. She is, of course, the very same Bistillot who was a little boy twenty years earlier. She explains that she was very sick as a baby, so her parents gave her a boy’s name so that she would be stronger and survive the illness. Once she overcame the illness, she was comfortable to reclaim her name and gender. Well, that closes the book on that story, except… I’ve decided that’s bullshit!
I have unilaterally decided that Bostilette is trans, the sickness she had was dysphoria, she stayed in the orcish war machine because she was an egg, and I hope you all agree!
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idk, internalized transphobia? romantic attraction brainworms about being perceived/not perceived as trans
How do I deworm myself of the
where I make myself uncomfortable every time I even notice myself attracted to someone?
If it's a woman I'm attracted to, I'm worried about being perceived either as a weirdo effeminate bi guy and misgendered or the transphobic chud trope of trans women all being predatory lesbians doing Bathroom Crime or whatever
If it's a guy, I'm worried about either being misgendered by a queer cis guy thinking I'm a femmy cis gay, or a straight guy expecting a woman reacting badly and either being harassed or potential violence
All of these scenarios start like automatically in my head just from seeing an attractive (binary cis) person on TV or a stranger in public and realizing I'm attracted to them
My brain sucks ass dude
Maybe I really should be exclusively t4t and just completely dissuade myself of the notion of paying cis people any attention at all romantically
Seeing a pretty lady on TV and thinking about how she might get creeped out by me or a handsome guy and thinking he might kick my ass can't be healthy
spoiler
T4T is the superior relationship modality anyway!
Relatable. Don’t know what to do about it. Good luck.