K (189?–?) Soviet pioneer. From Kazan, Tartarstan, USSR, K was diagnosed as a ‘transvestite’ in 1937.
She was given permission by the People’s Court to wear female clothing, her identity papers were changed to her female name, and her name was removed from the military recruitment rolls.
She was featured in a 1957 gynaecology textbook.
M.G. Serdiukov. Sudebnaia ginekologiia I sudebnoi akusherstvo. Moscow: Meditsina 1957: 47-8.
Dan Healey. Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia: The Regulation of Sexual and Gender Dissent. Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 2001: fig 24.
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Firstly, hugs
Im sorry, that sounds really rough.
I know this way too well. I cant go shopping without a friend with me, and even then its gotta be 10 items or less
Fwiw, if your friends were worth their salt as friends, they would be happy to hear from you, saying hi and apologizing for ghosting and reaching out to maybe spend some time together.
Honestly (warning opinion incoming), dont take the apologetic approach with this stuff imo. Its better to assert yourself (as hard as that can be).
Theres no need to apologize
theres always today to reach out to people, and its never to late; take all the time you need, but youre not screwed out of anything. Yeah its hard (oh god is it hard) but its worth it to have irl support and friendship.
I hope my rambling was alright, im a bit out of it rn.
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You're all good, I appreciate it
My closest friend sent me a letter awhile into my bad brain exile and I think she'd be able to forgive me but reaching out and knowing what to say feels incredibly daunting
I've been mulling over sending her a package with a gift and a huge apologetic letter but every time I start thinking about what to write I get overwhelmed and start crying
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Its really hard to reach out, especially when you feel responsible for hurting someone by pulling away, or really any feelings stemming from "i am bad/did bad thing" though processes.
I think you should reach out to her! She maybe was worried about you. But be prepared to selfcrit and eat crow yk? Being up front honest and vulnerable with people is so hard. I find success in vocalizing my shit feelings like "hey, im pretty anxious right now so im going to hang back for a minute" or "hey this venue is really overwhelming for me, so im gonna step outside where its less so".
hopefully this isnt insulting or pretentious, but if you want some help writing that letter...
Heya name,
I know we havent spoken in a long time, and I wanted to reach out and apologize for pulling away like I did. I was in a really bad space and wasnt treating myself or others with the respect and care i should have. I really enjoyed our friendship, and if youd like to get together and grab a cup of coffee i would love to catch up. I hope youre doing well, and that life is treating you with care.
Love and hugs, (or sincerely, or whatever sign off youd prefer)
LocalOaf
If you want to, you could maybe include a short bit about wanting to own your shit, be a good friend, and show up in your social relationships in a way that you didnt back when you were pulling away and self-isolating.
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That's not insulting or pretentious at all, thank you
I'm gonna make myself write something tomorrow. I already have a gift figured out that I think she'll like and have a container to ship it in that she gave me years ago.
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Im proud of you for reaching out! And im glad it wasnt insulting/pretentious ^^