why do they all fucking hate their partners? why would you willingly date and then fucking marry someone you hate?? am i missing something here???
I remember being a kid and my boyfriend's friend joking about being "whipped" for like. Listening to their girlfriends and doing nice things to them lol. Sra*ghts be like: fellas, is it gay to like your partners and be nice to them?
This always happens. It's like how "white knighting" had an original, narrow definition and then gradually became a term to shame any man who defended a woman on the internet.
Absolutely not lol, it's another word thats been around forever in black american english
DJ Quik 1991: "I love black pussy but I sure won't simp"
At least we can appropriate that term. Calling libs "simps for empire" has been entertaining.
ladies too. everyone should be gayer and crimier.
edit: and genderqueers, fuck im ashamed to admit I forgot about them.
Yeah, the old gay married couples I know all sound like old married couples. It gets replicated to an extent in roommate relationships, and in parent child relationships. Cohabitating with people is hard. Communicating is hard. Some of the boomerhumour style presentation of this is really bizarre, but the underlying truth is pretty universal.
Honestly it is toxic masculinity lmao. Dissatisfaction is one of the few emotions that is socially accepted among men.
Corollary to your confusion, why is it such a common thing for cishet men to refuse to perform oral sex? To say that they dislike eating out their partner? This has baffled me for my entire lesbian career. You would think I would have a better understanding of straight men given our shared interest but in fact it has made them more of an alien species to me
I think you have to be straight to empathize with this notion in any way, because I am also bi and it's basically my favorite thing.
Sex for a lot of straights is presented as a pure dominant/submissive thing(not in the fun way). The gender roles that apply to other aspects of life apply in the bedroom, and thus it is taboo for people to be outside of their gender roles in sex. Giving oral is seen as a submissive, so men don’t do it out of shame of being seen as submissive by their partners or society
they did as they were told (nuclear family) and didn't think about it enough. it was also big in humor when they were formulating their ideas of matrimony.
i don't think it's completely different from people saying they want to kill themselves as a joke. someone who has no idea what it's like to be suicidal might wonder how a person could feel that way about themselves. fwiw, when i'm suicidal, i probably hate myself more than they hate their wife. suicide as humor seems prevalent today in the same way as jokes like, "Take my wife... please." were when boomers were learning how to be in relationships.
Yeah I think they were about to get married right when a taboo started to break- revealing anything personal about your relationship. It was edgy once
Part of it is that people just get married so damn early. Like, I am nowhere near the same person I was when I was 18, and there is no way I could have known whether someone was a good life partner for me. Most people can’t at that age. Yet people really be out here getting hitched out of high school (especially back in boomer days).
Also, why the fuck do some people not live together until marriage? Better to find out if you can stand sharing the same space before tying the knot. This is another thing that boomer Christians didn’t do.
same, my parents have both hated each other for like 12 years now but never divorced, truly a mystery why i have so many mental problems now
Religion plays a large part in it as well. My parents have always hated each other but got married cause my mom got pregnant, now they won’t divorce because it’s against god or whatever
Sadly, yeah. Doesn't matter the sexuality I think. Everyone just wants to feel someone cares about them.
Oh, I don't think it's necessarily a "basis" for the relationship. They just rush into these things because they don't want to "die alone." A lot of them break up and look for the next one. So it's not like it's the end-all-be-all, but with straight folks they find these relationships earlier (in high school) while gay folks start later in life (their 30's or later).
As shitty as it sounds to put it this way, it's a sort of "biological clock" (ugh) for that feeling.
well yeah, marriage is a legal contract. the state is in part forcing couples to stay together.
(see Marriage Story for reference... :liberalism:)
I dunno, I've been wondering about it for a long time myself. One of the realizations I've kinda come to is that the identity of "straight" both encompasses everyone who is straight and everyone who is in denial about not being straight, whereas the other identities are a little more 'honest' about their leanings. Until people are sexually liberated I fear it is impossible to gauge the authenticity of the behavior of "straight" people because its going come pre-loaded with people living in denial.
THIS.
I have completely true commentary here. My partner is MTF, and pre-transition for about half of our relationship. It was pretty rocky early on, NGL, but I saw good in her. Once she transitioned...we stopped fighting. Ever. Literally ever. I think the biggest argument we have had in years is over whether garlic belongs in mashed potatoes or not (an "argument" in which we were both laughing throughout it).
An interesting side effect of watching someone become who they are inside is the ripple effect. Everyone else in their lives feels and experiences their happiness.
Also garlic belongs in mashed potatoes and I will die on this hill
Thank you for bringing this here to r/relationships, I think she is the asshole and denying that garlic belongs in mashed potatoes is gaslighting and abusive. Dump her and call the police right away.
It's a generational thing and it's because a lot of very old people grew up in the era of getting married before you turned 21, and in some cases they were arranged marriages.
Also after you spend 40 years living with someone, the dynamic changes where being cranky with each other doesn't mean you don't still love each other.
I just don't date anyone because when I find someone I don't hate, they break up with me. I'll let it happen if it happens but I'd rather die than be one of those dudes that's constantly worrying about getting with a girl and then constantly worrying about their relationship. That life sucks ass.
having you tried lowering your standards to the point where you would date other trans people?
(edit: or you mean lower than they already are, which, I find that so hard to believe, you're all such fine people)
(Chapo.chat really needs inline images, with alt-text for screen readers; or something like reddit enhancement suite)
i think it had it at first but got removed for some reason, I sadly have not been keeping up with dev stuff on my end
Probably has to do with the fact that most of us grew up with cis/het parents who happened to be awful boomers, and thus developed a ton of shitty schemas when it comes to relationship dynamics.
Edit: I happen to be in a happy and loving marriage with my wife (I’m a guy), but I grew up with a single mother we who was constantly in and out of relationships ranging from emotionally dead to outright abusive, so I uncover new baggage in my psyche pretty much daily.
