:michael-laugh: :data-laughing:
Notice that he didn't say that he tried to apologise to his girlfriend or admit his mistake to her. He just feels humiliated, and wants to "recover" the relationship, like he had just accidentally deleted relationship.exe from his hard drive.
Yeah this guy really needs therapy.
My girlfriend… was even very complimentary of me.
Obviously, dipshit. People who love you don’t talk shit behind your back -_-
I dunno if it’s gonna salvage the relationship but the guy really needs to just come clean and express in clear terms what mistakes he made, what led him to them and how he’s gonna fix it (like therapy). Right now she’s obviously pissed and hurt but if it’s a long term relationship then, if you wait, she could take you back.
If you're implying she did something to cause his lack of trust, fuck off. It's entirely possible to have fears of abandonment and betrayal absolutely consume you until you do something absurd without the partner having done anything after all. I'm in therapy for massive abandonment issues stemming from family shit that happened years ago. I still freak out if I detect the slightest hint that a friend or loved one is potentially mad or annoyed at me. And I hide in my room until it passes, I don't go hiding in people's fucking closets.
daaamn! back in middle school i liked to skip it, but once my mom came back home from work because she forgot something and i had to hide in the closet for over an hour. she never knew, but holy shit that guy. never again. i think there's an Always Sunny episode about this, except they were stealing stuff
there’s an Always Sunny episode about this, except they were stealing stuff
the cool reason to be hiding in a closet
I found the post on /r/relationship_advice if anyone's interested @Tripbin
As someone who’s been cheated on, and had to invade my SOs privacy to figure it out, I feel bad dunking on this guy. Obviously the looney toons way he went about it was bad, but I know what it feels like to spend ages paranoid, agonizing over whether they’re cheating on you, and so eventually you break their privacy and look through their phone and it feels super awful, whether you’re right or wrong. Every way to confirm whether your partner is cheating on you sucks and makes you feel super guilty if you’re wrong.
Edit: Like at least one other person here, I misread the first couple lines, I thought they shared an apartment, and he hid in the closet of their shared home. Which is like, not great, but I’ve heard of worse. This is not the case. I’m not sure where the line is for what level of breaking your partners privacy out of fear of cheating is, but breaking and entering is definitely on the wrong side of that line.
Men and women don’t go to therapy because it’s fucking expensive as fuck, even if you have health insurance. The marginal benefit of maybe, by some miraculous chance, matching with the perfect therapist and improving your mental health by 1% doesn’t offset the cost of destroying your wallet.
I think you’ll find it’s because a lot of us have been cycling through the behavioral health field our entire lives and have grown disillusioned by it, Most therapists are either out of their depth or flat out hostile when they have to cross class and social lines, and often times struggle addressing the material realities of their patients.
I’ve had 5 therapists and countless psychiatrists over the years. ‘Go to therapy’ is such a profoundly crass statement that libs love to use.
Edit: Also, I just told you, it’s expensive as fuck.
The act of going to therapy and sitting down for a structured conversation in a neutral space is a significant part of therapeutic success. This certainly depends on your issue, but many people would benefit from a setting like this without everything fitting perfectly.
Why would his girlfriend want to go back to a relationship with a guy like that. I would probably feel unsafe around anyone who acts like that. I hope he engages in some self reflection
If you're a man and you have a problem with your girlfriend or wife having sex with another man then that's a you problem.
Idk should we be dunking on this one?The man doesn't seem to have any right wing views (maybe we should check the posting history), and only has committed the crime of spying on his partner in a mostly harmless way.Furthermore, assuming he is telling the truth (and not making this as proof of innocence for a future court case), he doesn't seem to be a domestic abuser since his girlfriend speaks well of him to her friends.The fact that out of everywhere, (assuming good faith) he chose plebbit to go tell this shit to indicates he has no other close ones, a truly sorry state of affairs.This paints the picture of a lonely, mentally disturbed individual, whose family business ideally shouldn't be the concern of the public court of opinion. If we can't give him advice, I believe we should be compassionate and not stoop to the levels of plebbit by dunking on an innocent vulnerable person.However if he's a lib or sthing idgaf lmao (not even being ironic)DESTROY THIS CUCK WITHOUT MERCY, I MISREAD THE FIRST SENTENCE AND THOUGHT THEY SHARED A HOUSE/APARTMENT AND THE BROOM CLOSET WAS SHARED PERSONAL PROPERTY. MY APOLOGIES.
I am really sorry for wasting everyone's time with the "closet struggle session" Ill go read more books.....
The entire thread is people trying to convince him that this behaviour is absolutely terrifying from his girlfriend's point of view. If your partner is willing to hide in a closet for hours then that's pretty deranged, and even if he now knows nothing was wrong in the relationship, she won't be able to get that shit out her mind. If I was the SO I'd see a clear trust issue there. Plus it's a privacy issue. Stocking the person youre dating is pretty fucked and shows a personal issue needing to be worked on.
He just doesn't get it. He doesn't even seem to get why it's such a big deal in the rest of the comments on that thread.
I agree with you on not wanting to excessively dunk based on this alone, clearly he's got issues and I'd feel bad piling on the guy in that thread.
But I also feel bad for :maybe-later-kiddo: even though they're lib because being the face of a bad take you made early on in political development definitely sucks, even if they become cool and left wing later then it'll be forever embarrassing. And if they remain a lib, it still sucks to be the face of a bad lib take that they wouldn't be the face of if they were half as cringe.
>The entire thread is people trying to convince him that this behaviour is absolutely terrifying from his girlfriend’s point of view.Didn't read the plebbit thread, if this is the extent of their comments then for once hexbear has stooped below anti-human levels before :reddit-logo: did>If your partner is willing to hide in a closet for hours then that’s pretty deranged, and even if he now knows nothing was wrong in the relationship, she won’t be able to get that shit out her mind. If I was the SO I’d see a clear trust issue there. Plus it’s a privacy issue. Stocking the person youre dating is pretty fucked and shows a personal issue needing to be worked on.Firstly, its not a stalking issue, because stalking implies that there has been a pattern of privacy invasion, desire of knowledge of whereabouts, and a desire for control. This is a one-off incident of a man hiding in the closet of his girlfriend for a few hours due to bad mental health. A pattern of abuse and a one-off incident are not the same.Furthermore, having trust issues does not imply a person is an abuser. It is obvious that such incidents borne out of a lack of trust hurts both sides of the relationship, we have no place to mock and ridicule how our fellow imperfect humans work through the problems in their private interpersonal lives. This is a tragic example of the absolute state of human relations under late capitalism. He is not a devil deserving of public mockery, just another unfortunate person.I need to touch the grass.
Exactly he did the home invasion trope but irl and broke into his gf's home, an act of trespass and a fundamental violation of women's rights, I'm sure he's some disgusting libertarian cuck too. I misread the first few lines of the post and thought they had a shared apartment Im so sorry smfdh................................
Who gives a shit if he's a weirdo? Seriously! Its embarrassing as hell to go hide in your lover's closet like this and then post about it on plebbit later but for christ's sake have some goddamn compassion! If you want to go dunk on him thats fine but go do it on reddit and reduce the amount of human ruin on this site.I can guarantee if we all had full access to the past of anyone above the age of 18 using this site then we can find a cornucopia of cringeworthy shit like this to ridicule. This is no different!Here we have a good lesson....
Oh look the guy defending creepy guys hiding in closets is in other threads bypassing the filters to make gendered slurs what a surprise
https://hexbear.net/post/153908/comment/1875135
Look, I'm sorry and I acknowledge that saying the C word is bad, Ill go remove it, but what does gender have to do with this??????How is me saying the C word on an entirely different shitposting thread relevant to people here ridiculing some innocent dude going through some mental problems?How does his panicked actions have any political bearing beyond alienation such that he deserves ridicule?In the art...
It’s relevant bc your take is what he did isn’t that bad. My view and that of others is no actually it is that bad and definitely deserving of ridicule. Excusing this persons fucked up behavior and arguing we should go easy on the guy rings very “what about the men” to me, which is of course a common trope of sexists. Then I’m browsing another thread and I see someone has bypassed the slur filter to use a gendered slur (ie that person knows this is an inappropriate word to use but chose to use it anyway) and I am not used to seeing that around here, so then I glance up at the username and oh look it’s you…
It’s relevant bc your take is what he did isn’t that bad.
No. My take is that it is not our place to be judge and jury to this random man's life based on the smallest of a window. His behaviour is a problem here, obviously, it is very fucking embarrassing, but neither is it right to make sweeping judgements of his character and ridiculing him for his interpersonal failures without knowing a broader context especially when its just some random mentally disturbed normie with no bearing to any political project, its not our business and its frankly quite anti-social to try make it be so imo. I am not an MRA or basing this critique out of any "men's rights" political ideology, if anything its an appeal to human decency. You can judge my character and thats fair enough, but my point still stands.Of reading comprehension.
Yes you are correct I fucking misread the first few sentences and somehow came to the conclusion that they shared an apartment......................
Of course nobody of sound mind will do that!The problem is this dude is a fucking socially alienated, mentally disturbed individual with obvious deep seated psychological problems, not an abuser, not a chud, just some random person who is not our enemy politically or otherwise.He went to post on fucking reddit about this ffs (unless this is the alibi for something else later)So, again, assuming good faith, ridiculing him shows a fundamental lack of compassion, its embarrassing that he shares this but its literally none of our business to do anything else except give advice on the reddit thread.Reading comprehension, yet again.
>he’s controlling and jealous>had no respect for their partner’s privacy.It boggles my mind how we can reach these conclusions just from someone hiding in their lover's closet once and then posting about it on reddit. Universe brain thinking, holy fucking shit. This a huge problem with the internet, we only see these snippets of a random person's life and then feel as if we have enough knowledge to armchair-psychology our way into the fundamental nature of their mind and relationships. This is not fucking right at all. We don't know all of the fights they've had, or the loving moments they've shared, or the experiences they've had before this. So who the hell are we to judge the entire character of this random man based solely on this harmless misadventure? The consequences have already been dealt, the girlfriend will leave him, so whats the big deal??>At the end of the day posting and sharing this has no effect on OP at allNobody gives a shit about what this will do to OP. The problem is that we're creating an environment of making fun of random people in such an anti-human and thoughtless way.>he is again planning to disregard this lady’s wishes and corner her unexpectedly at a family function.Unimportant drama and gossip.I should read more books.
>ignores the entire point>"muh closet":internet-delenda-est:
Ok tell me why its damming evidence that a person is a uniquely horrible despicable piece of shit who should go to hell just because of a single isolated incident of hiding in a closet due to an irrational fear?This thread is damming evidence that I need reading lessons.
Of course you didnt say that because im being hyperbolic due to frustration. Lets just leave it at "agree to disagree" since we have vastly different fundamental presuppositions about human life and how to act on the internet.I still think its totally wrong to ridicule vulnerable people based on private interpersonal failings because its human to fuck up like this and not necessarily something related to chuddery/nurgle worship.In my opinion, it is also ridiculous to draw such drastic, sweeping conclusions about a person's moral character solely based on information given to us on normie level reddit posts. Hiding in a closet is fucking cringe and violates privacy, but we dont know enough about the life context to determine with certainty whether it is part of a pattern of abuse or a one time incident spurred on by extraneous factors not mentioned in the post leading to a declining mental health. Whether the man is a respectful, good partner is up to his girlfriend to decide because she has the context. We dont. Thus it is absolutely none of our business to make any vast moral judgements of character within a person's harmless interpersonal struggles.The person who made that post on reddit is a son of nurgle and literally should be prosecuted for home invasion.
Oh yikes yeah I read it the same way as you, so I was like “I mean it’s not the best way to go about it but could definitely be worse”
Nope, this is the worse. Dude broke into her house. Yikes. That’s definitely too far. I’m definitely not sure where the line is, but “breaking and entering” is definitely on the wrong side of that line.
Really upsetting to see people on here defending textbook abusive behaviour like spying on your partner. :sadness-abysmal:
Sorry lmao I misread the first few lines and thought they shared a home and our champion of nurgle just pretended to leave or sthing while his gf had friends over
:galaxy-brain:
I get feeling panicked about cheating and stuff but making the effort to do a fucking home invasion counts as literal stalking and a gross breach of privacy, fuck that dude.
