yea

  • Cromalin [she/her]M
    hexbear
    66
    4 months ago

    this meme lied to me. i had dinner on christmas with my gf's family and it ruled

  • puff [comrade/them]
    hexbear
    40
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Finding another communist to date is essentially impossible. I have never dated a communist.

      • WideningGyro [any]
        hexbear
        37
        4 months ago

        That's basically what I did. My partner was generally lib/apolitical, then I have gradually radicalized her. I did get super lucky that she understands and had/has very strong opinions about climate and environmentalism (part of how we bonded in the first place), so that was an easy vector -> explaining why I believed that solving those problems was impossible without communism. Now we'll be watching some slop tv show and she'll start to do unpromted material analysis and it gets me all hot and bothered

          • WideningGyro [any]
            hexbear
            11
            4 months ago

            Oh me too, of course! I was just further along in my radicalization than her when we met - and generally more interested in politics/ideology

      • Babs [she/her]
        hexbear
        13
        4 months ago

        My bf used to be really into radlib streamers like funny clown man, and radicalizing him was a long hard process, but very rewarding. He already had basically the right principles, just needed a bit of deprogramming.

    • kristina [she/her]M
      hexbear
      28
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      i did this tho, i quizzed everyone that messaged me on marx on dating apps and it worked. now have best bf

        • kristina [she/her]M
          hexbear
          21
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          basic stuff in the communist manifesto and terms like dialectical materialism. i was even anarchist inclusive, bf was anarchy adjacent before covid, became a hardline commie after, so we talked about kropotkin and stuff

          i had a bad time where a guy acted like he was a socialist but wasnt in an attempt to have sex with me and i got very thorough (he went to some maga thing on an account he didnt tell me about)

        • kristina [she/her]M
          hexbear
          18
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          oh and if you date another trans person, odds are theyre a socialist of some kind and you can convince them to be commies by explaining the thought process behind it. i dated a couple of other trans women before meeting my bf, we liked each other a lot but it just didnt work out for a variety of reasons. still big friends and theyre all hardliners now

      • bigboopballs [he/him]
        hexbear
        8
        4 months ago

        Apps and bars are a no go for me. And in a more rural area that's all there is.

        I'm too mentally ill and introverted for bars and I have even less idea how I'm supposed to begin talking to someone on an app (and matches are rare + women expect to not have to do anything and for me to do all the work anyways).

        Even in my city of 100,000 people, apps and bars are all there is agony-deep

        • kristina [she/her]M
          hexbear
          4
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          when i was dating i loved being the initiator, women in general are missing out i think, it makes dating so much easier.

          • bigboopballs [he/him]
            hexbear
            4
            4 months ago

            when i was dating i loved being the initiator, women in general are missing out i think, it makes dating so much easier.

            that's great. I wish women wanted to initiate @ me. but I am undesirable due to being a loser by society's standards

            • kristina [she/her]M
              hexbear
              3
              4 months ago

              There are some apps that encourage it, but yeah a lot of apps and stuff seem really bad and corporatized now

    • Cromalin [she/her]M
      hexbear
      19
      4 months ago

      simply hang out with someone who seems cool, realize they're a communist, then fall in love

      • puff [comrade/them]
        hexbear
        5
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        Liberals HATE HIM! Learn this one SIMPLE STEP puff used to date another communist!

        • Cromalin [she/her]M
          hexbear
          24
          4 months ago

          hey jsyk we have these things called pronoun tags here on hexbear and they let you know when maybe it's rude to call someone "him"

  • ButtBidet [he/him]
    hexbear
    35
    4 months ago

    Ignorant CIS OOTL guy here: does this mean that trans women don't get along with their parents? If so, I'm mad sorry :(

        • AutomatedPossum [she/her]
          hexbear
          44
          4 months ago

          Or who have to go no contact because keeping up with the verbal abuse is too draining. Like, that's an actual term in US queer communities, to go no contact. When you stop answering calls and coming over for the holidays because you just can't take that shit anymore. I feel it's a lot more widespread among Amerikan queer people (not just trans and nonbinary folks, also gay cis people) than among Europeans. Like, i'm in community with some people who have really awful, transphobic parents who constantly deadname and misgender them and just act like complete douches at every opportunity, and i know stories of queer people who've been homeless for a while because their parents immediately kicked them out of the house when they came out, this happens here as well, but the open hostility and especially the homelesness thing seems more common in the US.

  • SnowySkyes [she/her]M
    hexbear
    33
    4 months ago

    In my polycule consisting of 3 trans girls, you can meet exactly zero of our collective parents.

  • gramxi [they/them]
    hexbear
    31
    4 months ago

    but also if she does openly introduce you to her parents, they're probably gonna be pretty cool parents

  • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
    hexbear
    31
    4 months ago

    that awkward moment when you're a well-bearded they and still realizing you have damn near this entire fit sitting in pieces in your closet

    • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.ml
      hexbear
      21
      4 months ago

      Ngl I basically already wear exactly this every day lmao. Not the exact style, but the beret + bow + autumn jacket fit is very comfy, although I also add a scarf. If you need suggestions on pieces to replicate something similar I can tell you where I got a couple of mine. I'd recommend thrifting if you can though, you can often find very cute clothes cheaper that way.

      • Ocommie63 [she/her]@lemmygrad.ml
        hexbear
        10
        4 months ago

        I would greatly like some suggestions on recreating this fit, because when it comes to fashion I’m a big dum dum. I wish I had the courage to shop for clothes irl 😔😔😔

        • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.ml
          hexbear
          6
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          Alright well big sis Sery will give a couple of basic tips then. I'm admittedly still quite new to this myself so I don't think I can do much beyond the basics. I'll also post some cute berets similar to this one at the end.

          Colour

          So, first important thing is colour. Different colours will look good on you depending on your skin's undertone. Essentially your skin might be slightly warmer or colder in tone. Whichever it is, you generally will want to pick colours which are also warmer or colder to match. Taking myself as an example, my skin leans a little warmer, so I find that colours like red look very good on me. That doesn't mean I can't wear blues, it just means I have to proportion them differently.

          Similarly, your hair colour will go well with different types of shades. If your hair is darker it looks better with darker and less saturated colours, whereas if it's lighter it will go well with brighter colours. Like before this isn't a hard and fast rule though, you can wear other stuff too.

          So, you have a basic idea of what colours to go with, but you can't just wear any colour with any other. So, we need to think about how the colours themselves relate. Colour theory is a lot to go over so I'll summarise very quick: colours that are next to each other on a wheel (red and orange, for instance) go well together. So do colours which are opposite of each other (red and green). But you have to proportion these two types of relation differently. First, one colour will always be the primary colour, usually the one you have the most of, on you so use that to determine these relations. The adjacent colour can be used pretty frequently or dominantly in the outfit. But the opposite colour has to be used more sparingly, because if you have too much of it it will clash heavily with the main colour. There's two ways to do this: the first is to wear things which are only barely tinted in that opposite colour. Note that this also includes colours adjacent to that opposite colour (and in fact you should maybe wear them more often over true opposites) Taking the image as the example, she is wearing tan and brown, which are effectively orange and yellow. The opposite of orange is blue, so her shirt is a very dark blue. It thus acts as the opposite colour in this fit. The other way to make opposite colours work is to use very little of it. One or two accessories, for instance.

          Note that black, white, and grey are neutrals. They can be used with basically anything without clashing. Just try to check whether they are a warmer or colder tone, since colders work better with other cold tones and vice-versa

          Cutting this here for now since my class is starting and I already lost this wall of text twice, I'll post the next bit later when I have time, sorry!

          • Ocommie63 [she/her]@lemmygrad.ml
            hexbear
            3
            4 months ago

            Omg thank you so, so much. This is really useful. Also no worries about cutting it short, what you have given is already so good 😊😊😊

            • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.ml
              hexbear
              2
              4 months ago

              Finally got some time, so here's part 2 of the mini-guide:

              Sizes

              Sizes are a bit of a pain to work out when you're just starting to wear different clothing. The rule of thumb you'll normally hear is to go one size larger compared to your usual if you're switching from men's to women's. But I've found that, while this is helpful for choosing quickly and buying online, it's often better to just eye whether you'll fit in something while shopping in-person. I normally wear men's mediums but I can fit in both men's and women's smalls depending on the exact piece. It takes a while to work this out though, so the rule of thumb works until then.

              I would highly recommend learning your full measurements if you plan on shopping for dresses online. It's possible you'll find that all of your measurements can fit except for one and often it's better to err on the side of caution and go the one size higher to compensate. You can do this yourself if you're uncomfortable with being touched by someone else doing it. I'd also recommend occasionally buying dresses one size larger anyways if you're tall so as to compensate for your height with a longer skirt.

              Note also that different countries can have different sizes called the same thing when shopping online so that's something to be careful of. I buy a lot of imported Japanese clothes to fuel my lolita obsession and for those I usually buy L or 2L rather than the M or L I buy where I live. Knowing your full measurements can help you compare and figure out what sizes are right.

              Proportions

              No clue if this is the right term but it's what I'm gonna call it. When you're working on an outfit you want to think of how much of your body is covered by each piece. As an example, take a basic shirt and pants. If you keep the shirt out of the pants it will make it so that each cover roughly half of your body. If you put the shirt in the pants, however, it will instead make the shirt cover 1/3rd and the pants cover 2/3rds. You want to try to create these 1/3rd and 2/3rd splits because they're more visually interesting compared to a halfway split. Try to visualise the splits using the waist/hips as the centre line: you want to avoid having things end there.

              Taking the image as an example: her jacket goes down below her waist, so it covers roughly 2/3rds of her body. The shirt is cut off by her (obscured by the text) skirt, so it is covering 1/3rd, the skirt then is covering 2/3rds or maybe just 1/3rd depending on its length. The important thing is to create these sections of thirds and to make sure that two pieces on the same area (the jacket and shirt) are not covering the same proportion of your body.

              This is the tip I'm most iffy on, I had read it in a transfem fashion post on reddit that I couldn't find, and I'm mostly working off of my vague memory of what it said. I had thought it came from this post* which I saved, but I couldn't find it in a quick skim and I think I had actually read the tip in the comment which linked to this post. I would recommend reading the post btw, I don't follow its advice much since I have a very different aesthetic compared to what it suggests but it can give you some basic ideas, especially on how to de-emphasise the masculine aspects of your figure.

              *(https://www.reddit.com/r/transfashionadvice/comments/meqn5x/how_to_build_your_wardrobe/)

              That's about all I can think of. So, as promised, here's a couple of cute berets that fit this image's look. They're all from etsy but I like them all a lot and bought one to wear which has been very comfy. I'll probably combine and repost these into a proper post later so other people can read them and it can be a bit easier to save and look back on. I'll add any extra tips I can think of when I do.

              Berets

              https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/932653632/women-berets-hat-beret-hat-with?click_key=8651645229ca53e692cba1315118554961d8f8d2%3A932653632&click_sum=6007b519&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=beret&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&pro=1

              https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1412156478/hand-embroidered-100-wool-flower-french?click_key=fb91d52fcdc0f5ab5cefdba017a0d7b81dcbc57f%3A1412156478&click_sum=68706b79&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=beret&ref=sr_gallery-1-5&pro=1&frs=1&sts=1

              https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1107346888/big-bowknot-wool-hatneedle-felted-design?click_key=70bff656a9a5d8bc38c972a53478f9fb84bd6c60%3A1107346888&click_sum=4e7673f5&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=beret&ref=sr_gallery-1-9

  • Babs [she/her]
    hexbear
    26
    4 months ago

    Posting here because I too would like to dress like the cool anime girl.

  • What_Religion_R_They [none/use name]
    hexbear
    19
    4 months ago

    just make it so your parents are financially dependent on you so they cant disown you. schooled with material conditions and logic 😎

  • sisatici [he/him]
    hexbear
    16
    4 months ago

    Hope every transphobe parent of yours see the light of islam and and realise how wrong they are to not love you and read you das capital before bed