Not long term bad choices, more like you did something then immediately thought "oh no why did I do that"
Mine is, while trying to cure hiccups I decided to take a shot of apple cider vinegar. This works almost immediately, however I then notice I have indigestion from it and decide to eat a tsp of baking soda.
The realization of what I did hits me a millisecond too late as the baking soda goes down my throat and 2 seconds later I become a human volcano spewing the entire contents of my stomach all around my kitchen sink with a surprisingly intense force. I was basically firehosing.
Anyone else have one?
threw a brick at a cop during a protest. immediately started getting clubbed by like three pigs. i regret nothing.
i brained that fucker something fierce and the other pigs made sure I paid for it lol
the brained pig stopped brutalizing some friends though, so :mission-accomplished-1::mission-accomplished-2:
I have to admit, I really thought I was clever for that one lmao
:order-of-lenin: you advanced the cause of science that day
Yeah if you need to throw up everything in you fucking immediately, there you go.
Was bored in some casino on the main strip in Vegas. My 3 friends were running around playing slots/blackjack and I had already lost $60 so my dumbass split off from them & got on grindr since I'd been stuck with my friends for almost 2 weeks at this point and was :pingu-horny:
Meet up with some random guy in one of the casino bathrooms and proceeded to fuck him. As soon as I came I was like "w-why did I just bareback some stranger in a Vegas bathroom of all places after maybe five minutes of conversation, I'm gonna get an STD", grab the dude by the arm before he leaves the stall and ask him when the last time he tested clean was. He kinda smirks and goes "uhhh about six months ago but no worries I don't do this often"
mfw I get back home a week & a half later after the rest of the vacation and test positive for syphilis after noticing a bump on my pp :angry-hex:
always use protection
Evergreen instance: checking if hot thing is hot
Yes, the car lighter gets hot and will ignite the seat covers. Yes, the iron is hot and will cook your thumb flat. Yes, the coffee is hot and now you can't taste it.
:yea:
It's so common. It's crazy how a human brain just doesn't respect unseen threats like heat.
how are you suppose to know its hot unless you touch it? :pete-eat:
My older brother burned his finger on the cigarette lighter in front of me, and then a few months later I did the same thing and my parents were just like :jesse-wtf:
When I was a kid I had one of those cap guns but the cap wasn't going off so I just bit into it. It went off in my mouth and my tongue started bleeding. I can feel a lump in my tongue to this day from it.
As a 5yo I poured pepper into a saucer and blew into it, instantly macing myself lol
Lifted the lid of a crockpot with my nose right up to it to sniff it's delicious contents and instantly got a severe steam burn that took weeks to heal
Hey I did something similar, I had never made vodka sauce from scratch before and dumbly put my face right over the vaporizing creme, bourbon and vodka in the skillet and almost immediately passed out face-first into a simmering pan
It's so tantalizing! My partner and I were just speculating on what a carnivorous plant would have to do to entice us, and I gotta say a delicious smelling sauce would get me every time
I remember as a kid sitting in a mall, and there was a lamp on the desk with a hole where the switch should be, conveniently finger sized.
Yeah, I don’t know what I expected to happen
My dumb 5 year old ass wanted to drink buttermilk. My logic was "I like butter" and "I like buttermilk pancakes".
Needless to say I was horribly horribly wrong. :minion-steve:
I actually really like drinking buttermilk. it's kind of like kefir
lol I tried putting it on cereal because we were out of regular milk. regret.
When I was eight I stuck a plastic bullet up my nose and my dad had to take me to the ER to get the doctor to pull it out.
I couldn't resist, it looked like it was the PERFECT FIT for my nostril.
I swear I’ve heard this story from so many people. Something about those fucking plastic bullets, it’s like they’re meant to go in your nose
I couldn’t resist, it looked like it was the PERFECT FIT for my nostril.
Same, but with a piece of chalk. My sister did a bead from one of those plastic necklaces that each of the beads pop in to the next.
Oh that is weird. I once stuck my face into a pile of those necklace beads that belonged to my sisters, and for a few weeks or so I was utterly convinced that one had gone up my nose, since it had already happened once.
Vomited on a cute guy in a bar after drinking way too much. Poor guy.
I don't drink anymore.
when i worked in the lab back in the day we used this dye called crystal violet which was used as a stain to show up bacterial colonies etc for experiments. incredibly intense dark purple dye and we were always told about how intensely fucking toxic it was (even by the standards of shit you keep around a lab), and the sort of thing you always work with in one of those lab fume hoods with all the precautions etc
one weekend i was doing some shit in the lab on my own, and needed the crystal violet but noticed the current batch of the concentrated stuff had gone all clumpy and precipitatey. shook it up a bunch and decided to just filter it with a really big syringe with a little filter that twists on to the syringe nozzle. and cos its the weekend and im lazy and i really dont want to be there, i dont bother going over to the fume hood to do it and just do it on the bench and i didnt both putting goggles on either. very thick and clumpy and needed a lot of force on the syringe plunger to push the stuff through the filter, which eventually flew off and with a whole bunch of force a whole load of intense thick purple liquid dye sprayed all across the lab and also all over my face.
first thought was oh jesus fuck ive just killed myself with some slow agonising death from all this toxic shit on my face, and im also gonna die looking like the worlds dumbest idiot with bright purple dye all over my face that will never come off. fortunately there were actual showers at the labs (not just those emergency ones) so snuck up there and fortunately with enough scrubbing the shit all came off. spent half the day cleaning all this dye off everything in the lab and told absolutely nobody since i knew someone would go ballistic if they found out. people were finding weird purple spots around the place for ages though lol. anyway turns out on further reading yes the stuff is kinda nasty but nowhere near as toxic as wed been led to believe, and 10 years later im still alive with my face not looking any more shitty than expected from ten years of aging so i guess i got off kinda lucky?
also once someone offered me $20 to snort a line of salt, 0/10 would not recommend
told my partner of 2 years that i wasn't sure about marriage and then just let her walk away because i thought it was the best thing for both of us
Not me but: my best friend growing up put an m-80 in his toilet and flushed. Was grounded forever, and his mom still brings it up but he was a goddamn legend of the 5th grade
I remember being like 9 at a log cabin with my parents and seeing an axe by some firewood. I went over, swung the axe straight down on a log that was laughably too small and the blade wiffs and passes right between my legs. I still think about that shit to this day.
Like a fucking inch to left or right and an axe goes into my kneecap, slightly higher and it goes straight into my 9 year old balls. Jesus I got lucky that day.
Worse. Your axe hits your thigh and you sever your femoral artery. Likely bleeding out before an ambualnce can get out to the wild to find you.
When I did my toe in I got my hands covered in blood to the point the touch screen on my phone wouldn't work. I was alarmed
