I'm going to start a right-wing ice cream company called Man Cream. We will defeat the woke mind virus with man cream running down our chins.
This parody is only distinguishable on the basis that it's posted on Hexbear
Man Cream is almost too good. Like, innuendo aside, I could see someone making that into a mainstream brand with broad appeal. I feel it would have to be more like American Freedom Gun Creamery and all the branding would look like a collage of American flags and troops. It would be $15/pint and distributed via a MLM scheme.
We're the next Ben and Jerry. I'm going to spread my man cream all over Real America.
We need advertising featuring REAL, HARD men doing physical activities and enjoying Man Cream(tm) to cool off so everyone knows it’s not for soyboy wokies 😤
Some kind of professional ensemble like the Village People and I'm filling them up with man cream. We're all laughing and high fiving and proving how straight we are.
:frothingfash: Did you know that cow's milk is loaded with nasty, feminizing estrogen?!
:so-true: That's why at Man Cream we only use the finest ingredients from the most potent, masculine male bovines to ensure the purity of our customer's essences!
As a family man you're obligated to be with your wife, but we get it. Even looking at her lady cream makes you feel sick. Sometimes a fella just needs to sneak away and fill his belly with man cream in the truck. Nobody has to know. Just find another fella on craigslist and enjoy it together.
countdown until Haz says that Ben and Jerry's workers are culturally bourgeois: :countdown:
Whats that dink been up to lately? Last I saw he was hanging out with Maupin. I want more nuclear hot takes from him, he's always great for a laugh.
When private corporations do a woke then thats a communism
Anything too intellectual for the dumb Ameriburger normie is "communist" or "woke".
Welcome back to the 2000s.
You will know the enlightened real player characters by their repetitive nazi frog memes. :the-more-you-know:
Brb opening an ice cream store and only selling plain plombir
:gusano-perplexed: Stalin ate all my great-grandpas ice cream
Well after the grain he wanted dessert, the fuck else was he gonna eat with that giant spoon?
Thinking of Ben & Jerry's communist flavors.
Marxmallow Fudge
PistaccTito
Ice Cream with Chocolate Characteristics
Mao's Tracks
Stalin's big scoop, Lenin Sorbet, the protracted people's smore, Che Guava, Parenti's mint chips and red
Isn't Cherry Guevara already a flavor of theirs?
Nope, that's Cherry Garcia.
We read theory. That's how come we know so much about ice cream stores.
Another one for the "hates communism, doesn't even know what it is" column.
Actual communist ice cream stores
Coppelia was originally built in a project led by Fidel Castro to introduce his love of dairy products to the Cuban population, creating the Coppelia enterprise to produce those products. The original aim was to produce more ice cream flavors than the big American brands by buying the best machines from the Netherlands and Sweden. Fidel's longtime secretary, Celia Sánchez, named Coppelia after her favorite ballet Coppélia.
It's because the right to food was a big part of the Cuban revolution, and milk in particular was seen as a relative luxury
There's a lot of weird shit published (first by the WSJ with some of the more unbelievable and almost certainly false claims, like Castro wanting diary cows that weighed 400 grams that could feed off grass in a desk drawer) about Castro and his supposed love of dairy and ice cream
Ho Chi Mint is great but I have serious objections with including Michael Moore among the ranks of Uncle Ho and Mao
BIRDMAN! GET IN HERE! We have to abolish the landlord class!
