hop in a pool suspended five stories above another pool on the deck of a ship that looks like the result of a mad scientist hybridizing the genes of an airport duty free terminal, a private athletic club, a five-over-one and the Evergreen Ever Given (with just a splash of Six Flags for flavor)
Cruise vacations are actually, sadly, very blue-collar American dream. No real bourgeoise would go on something as tacky as this. They all have their own yachts and sailing ships, take sailing class to sail around Seattle Sound. Sailing is an incredibly bourgie and pretentious hobby.
Cruise ships provide people a distorted, tacky, Disneyland theme park version to feel like a millionare for a week kinda thing. It is just like people would go to Golden Corral all you can eat to celebrate something, and eat glutonously for an hour like a King when you might be literally food insecure (or nutritiously insecure i.e., cannot afford healthy foods) on the weekdays.
t. I grew up lower middle class and my parents always take me to Golden Corral or all you can eat Chinese buffet everytime we had something to celebrate. They went on one of these messed up cruise ships as their retirement vacation.
Excellent analogy that cruise ships are the Golden Corral of vacations. It's quantity over quality and everything is carefully prepared to maximize decadence, but not leave the comfort zone of sheltered white people.
Good metaphor; I've seen things in Golden Corral that still kind of haunt me. It's where hygiene and good taste go to die.
Never been to a GC, but I've always heard horror stories involving the chocolate fondue fountain to the point I've made a mental note to avoid it if I ever find myself at the place. Lots of second-hand stories of double dipping and people sticking their fingers in it multiple times.
Licking fingers in a
way before scraping slimy paper money to flick at the cashier."Boob money" where some "my daughter and I look the same age!
" thinks it's acceptable, cool, and even hot to do a gesture like the above but instead pulling a sweat soaked bill from inside her bra, and expecting to get a stunned 
face from it instead of a 
or even a 
Littering on purpose. Like, not just apathy and negligence, but outright "fuck this place, those lazy poors are paid to sometimes clean it" and flicking used napkins away from the table, sometimes even dropping plates, glasses, or outright just throwing the greasy food on the floor. One time someone (CW: vomit)
spoiler
outright barfed on the table and his douchebag friends laughed and thought it was hilarious as they all just got up and left, then and there.
I could go on but let's just say Golden Corral and I have a history.
Cruise vacations are actually, sadly, very blue-collar American dream.
To be fair, cruises are actually a pretty good deal considering what you get. It's basically a floating hotel with all you can eat food, drinks, and entertainment. Plus you get to hop off at several port towns and do little day trips and sightsee. You don't need to worry about booking hotels, rental cars, meals, drinks, or any of that bullshit. It's all included. If you had to buy separate plane tickets, book separate hotels, and do all that shit, it would add up to much more. Plus no need to constantly pack, unpack, check out of hotels, and load luggage and shit. Like take a look at these Royal Carribean cruise prices: https://www.royalcaribbean.com/cruises?search=departurePort:BYE,FLL,GAL,MIA,PCN,TPA|destination:BAHAM,CARIB|nights:7~7&sort=RECOMMENDED&icid=cybrpd_tctclp_hmp_hm_other_3453 (about $600 on the low end for a 6 or 7 day cruise). Try booking planes to all those port cities, as well as hotels and see how much the costs skyrocket.
Plus there's also the climate change aspect. Most working class people want to travel on these cruises (for the luxury to get away from their dreary life and the price reasons I talked about above). So I suppose it's better to have many people on one ship (I mean it's basically floating anyways, so no need to use all the propulsion just to generate lift) than have them all taking planes and booking hotels and rental cars and shit. With economy of scale less there's less waste. I'm not sure what the carbon calculations are, but I imagine it's much less than what it would be with planes and cars and hotels (here's what I found from a quick search, basically ships are way more efficient than trains as well: https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/jzhebc/comment/gdbvoba/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 and https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/jzhebc/comment/gdbxqvz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
I think leftists seriously need to think about how people will relax without doing some kneejerk "fUcK cRuIsEs IT'S ALL CHUDS HURR DURR!!" response. Maybe touch grass and try talking to people who want to go on these cruises because it's the one time in the year that they get to go on a "real vacation." Moralizing at them about how cruises are "bourgeoise and they suck bro" isn't going to work. The same can apply to places like Disney World or Six Flags or whatever. People want to zone out and have fun and they like going to these places (for fuck's sake there's even a water park in Pyongyang). So let's try to be adults here (not you micnd90 but the other kneejerk comments in this thread) and not whine like babies. If it was a train ride across the country with amenities on the train cars and various stops at different towns/cities, I imagine leftists would be like "WOOO HOOO TRAIN GANG VACATION WOOOOO!!!" How is a ship any different? It seems to be that most hexbear users' kneejerk response to cruises is the perceived "chudness" of the clientele, as opposed to other aspects. Like I said, if it was a train experience, I wonder what leftists would think about it.
No real bourgeoise would go on something as tacky as this.
Actually I've known people who own businesses and are millionaires going on cruises. Also very well paid doctors/surgeons/lawyers will go on cruises. I think you're talking about the super duper 1% that have their own private yachts and shit. Fairly well-off people will go on a cruise, they just might get a better cabin like one with a window or some shit. I wouldn't be so quick to presume.
FWIW I've never been on a cruise, and I've never considered myself a "cruise person." But after talking to a few people I know that love them, they made a lot of good points, especially about what you get for the cost. And when I looked into it for myself and compared it to flights/hotels/meals/cars, it makes a lot of sense. I'm not trying to promote cruises, but now I kind of see where "cruise people" are coming from.
I grew up lower middle class and my parents always take me to Golden Corral or all you can eat Chinese buffet everytime we had something to celebrate.
In a lot of poor rural places this is just what people do. I don't blame them, it's a nice all you can eat outing with family/friends. If this was in some Global South country and people gathered at some budget restaurant, would we also chastise them for this? I dunno this seems like some culture war bullshit designed to make us fight each other over dumb shit like what restaurant is better...
This is a fair assessment except the environmental part. Cruise ships are notoriously bad because they run on fuels, while most trains these days run on electric. Furthermore, it is common for them to switch to a dirtier fuel when they are away from the port and in international waters because there is no regulation.
https://www.businessinsider.com/cruise-ship-air-pollution-carnival-cars-europe-study-2023-6?r=US&IR=T
Beyond the emissions, cruise ships also commonly straight up dump waste and junk into the ocean.
https://www.businessinsider.com/carnivals-history-of-environmental-violations-cruise-industry-2020-3?r=US&IR=T#princess-illegally-dumped-oil-into-the-ocean-and-covered-it-up-from-2005-to-2013-1
If it was a train ride across the country with amenities on the train cars and various stops at different towns/cities, I imagine leftists would be like "WOOO HOOO TRAIN GANG VACATION WOOOOO!!!" How is a ship any different?
Bad take, trains don't completely destroy the ecosystems they are in like cruises do to coral reefs and the entire ocean in general.
I mostly agree, and appreciate you bringing these points up. However, cruise ships need to solve the environmental problems (they are disproportionately bad in this respect) and the fact that they are basically floating petri dishes. They also commonly have issues with exploited workers.
They're also one of the only ways that some Americans visit other countries. People in my tiny hometown would refuse to get a passport since they could just go on a cruise ship and visit Cuba, Mexico, Jamaica, etc. It's like visiting another country but being so insecure about it you bring a floating American city with you just in case you think the local food is scary and you want McDonald's.
There are actually real luxury cruise lines. I know Ritz-Carlton runs one.
No cruise lines in the world advertise themselves as "middle-class" cruise lines, they all "luxury" cruise lines. Still top 1 percenters wouldnt want to be jammed with like 2000 other people, let alone potentially 2000 people below their class.
Just because middle class people cannot afford a $3 million dollar home or a Tesla or healthcare doesn't mean middle class people cannot afford $300 a night at Ritz Carlton once in their lifetime.
So much this. One thing higher-end/older types do not fuck around with is their vacation (I caution saying white or blue collar since the swath of cruise-goers straddles both). Yet, how do you appeal to xenophobic shitheads who only want to eat, drink, gamble, speak and hear only English and pretend to go somewhere exotic with no risk of running into the wrong kind of tan person?
Almost everyone I know over 50 either goes on cruises, or wants to go on cruises.
All I'm saying is that there are gaps between this type of cruise and private yachting. The Ritz-Carlton cruises start at $1K/night for the smallest rooms and most of them aren't even all-inclusive, IIRC. There's also flying to some resort locations and then renting a yacht for a day, which is actually what most "normal rich" people you see posting yacht photos have done.
Yeah some cruise ships are really stratified. Some literally have zones and if you dont pay enough you cannot be on the upper class zones/pools/restaurants. It's like Disneyland and Six Flags are stratified by the kind of tickets you have, if you are rich you literally can cut lines in front of the poors
I bought one of those fast pass tickets last weekend for a theme park, and I think that's one instance that kinda has some justification. As long as the price isn't something absolutely insane.
Like for mine, regular admission was $50, and the "line cutting" ticket was an extra $100. Which makes it worth it if you only go once every few years or something because you can do everything in a day. Doing single rider lines also makes sense so you can maximize capacity on rides and also give people an option to shorten their wait time if they're gonna be waiting in line alone.
Also most of the time the line cutting passes only really matter for like 2 hours. Early in the day and late in the day the lines are small enough that there isn't much difference between the two.
That being said, Disney is kinda fucked with how their tiered system is set up, it's so inscrutable and managed that it ends up causing more issues because they want you to keep spending more money as opposed to a one time fee.
When Disney first introduced the system it made a lot of sense. You were basically just making a reservation for a major ride, and then you would ride the smaller rides while you waited for your time. It made guests go from averaging six rides per visit to ten or something like then.
Then they discovered they could charge for it.
Yeah, I remember when thay first implemented it. The system was a great idea
They have really expensive first class cabins for like ski doo dealership owners or whatever
The ship pictured has a suite that’s got more square footage than my house, three levels with a slide and shit for kids, and it goes for $20,000 per person per week and Royal Caribbean says that suite is already sold out for the entirety of 2024 for an average rate of $80,000 per week.
To defend sailing, it's not purely a pretentious and bourgeoisie hobby.
You can get into sailing for less than some working folk spend on a cruise holiday.
undefined> Sailing is an incredibly bourgie and pretentious hobby.
I learned how to sail small boats as a kid, and my first job was teaching a sailing summer camp by my house. It was a lot of fun. Doesn't NEED to be bougie, but it certainly can be. Boats be expensive.
Or this kind.
The RUNE Kosatka (Russian: Косатка, lit. "Killer Whale") is a large, Propaganda Class [2]nuclear-powered, guided missile submarine featured in The Cayo Perico Heist update for Grand Theft Auto Online.
We'll need the whale/submarine hybrids from Blue Submarine No. 6
When boomers say, the terrorists hate us because of our freedom. In their head, this is what freedom looks like.
Fuck the people working on it's freedom tho. They only exist for them to terrorize.
The training mission in the 2016 Hitman is a fake cruise ship. There's also a level on a riverboat in Blood Money.
One of the levels in Splinter Cell Double Agent is on an actual real cruise ship if you can stomach playing it.
I can't help but feel like it would end up just being a squished in version of like Bangkok or Paris where everything gets choke-pointed hard into guarded staircases and then you have like one or maybe two alternatives you can take. The best Hitman levels are like Miami, Mendoza, or Chongqing where they're just ridiculously porous and you have a ton of options for getting from one area to any other.
Like if you want to get to the top floor of Paris, what do you do? You go over to that one drainpipe on the left side and that's it, that's your option that's how you go up. You want to get to an upper level on Bangkok, what do you do? The one wing is easy, but for the other you either get one of like two disguise options, or you can take one drainpipe into a crowded room you then have to deal with. Doing SA/SO Bangkok without speedrunner strats is a miserable, agonizingly slow process of cheesing AI and waiting.
Really cool idea, traversal might be difficult to make work though. It would show off next gen graphics really well too.
This picture fills me with fear. I can't quite articulate why. It's just too much for a boat.
I really do not see the appeal of a giant shopping mall/lame amusement park from which there is no escape for weeks at a time and could potentially drag you into a watery grave, which is something that won't happen if you just go to Disneyland or some shit.
How the fuck could you stand being on a place like this for weeks at a time?
Travel long distances on a boat you don't leave, why not just stay in the fucking dock
I think you do leave on most cruises. They stop in different port cities potentially in different countries. At least the best ones probably do.
Yeah, from what I've seen, the port stops are the main attraction and the ship amenities are generally just there to tide you over between.
I remember reading that cruise ships still don't have enough lifeboats for all passengers and I can't wrap my head around how that's legal.
Legally all cruise ships need to carry enough lifeboats and life rafts for 125% of the ship's maximum capacity. Life rafts are inflatable and are stowed away, and can only be deployed once, whereas lifeboats are rigid and can be (and must be) deployed every now and again as part of evacuation drills.
Maritime law is super sketchy. It's the Wild West out on the seas.
They have enough boats to evacuate the boat before it would sink. Well, that is the useual idea. Boats tend to follow shipping lanes and they rarely are that far from rescue. If the boat sinks like a rock you won't have time to get to lifeboats. If it starts sinking slowly you don't need to work that hard to putter people over to a rescue vessel in a timely fashion. It just doesn't make intuitive sense to us because the sea is a hostile environment in which we really don't belong.
8000 people on this ship means it results in about a megaton of sewage (black/grey water) per day.
This ship is going to create a giant shitslick every time it gets out of port and hits the limit for international waters.
After the revolution, cruise ships will be permanently docked and turned into public housing
Cruises are obviously fucking awful but I really really like the concept of a large community ship w/ services and apartments and hydroponics and stuff. I'm not sure if there would be any way to make it not a huge waste of resources though.
I thought the same thing and realised that I was just dreaming of going on vacation to the Enterprise and DS9
looking through their website and this boat is a video game
it is a Hitman 3 level straight up
You could set an entire Hitman game on a boat this big. Imagine having like a dozen targets you could take on in any order - the game takes place over a multi-week cruise, you want to make the deaths look like accidents so you don't spook the other targets, the crew could progressively beef up security in response to your actions, targets will attempt to flee the ship and you can pass or fail in trying to stop them, eventually the whole boat gets locked down and you have to evade special forces guys trying to find you as you take out the last couple of targets that remain.
Big replayability as you try to get the absolute perfect score of successfully getting every target with an accident in one run, game ends with the CEO of the cruise company being charged with gross negligence and blamed for all of the rich ghouls you killed. It's 10/10 in my head.
$10 says the same people frothing at the mouth about 15 minute cities are first in line for tickets.
