STOP INVENTING INTERGENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES!
Bridie, you’re a millennial – tell me about your socks
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT
Oh Gabs, you could ask me what beauty I saw in the world on this glorious blue sky morning, or how my relationship is with my mother, or what rage is in my heart. But no, everyone wants to talk about millennial socks.
WHO THE FUCK IS EVERYONE? IS THAT ODYSSEUS PLAYING A TRICK ON US BY PUTTING A TWIST ON HIS OLD PRANK?
I actually wear great socks. Heavily influenced by my little brother, I’ve worn Uniqlo crew socks for years. Which are actually “zoomer socks”. But I have loved ankle socks as well, and that is the foghorn that signals I’m a millennial, apparently.
SAYS FUCKING WHO THEYRE JUST FUCKING DOCKS SHUT THR FUCK UP
Wait, I’m just trying to wrap my head around the concept of “millennial socks” – which you now tell me are just ankle socks – and now you’ve introduced the concept of “zoomer socks”. Are they merely coloured crew socks or is there more to it?
THEGRE JUST FUCKIBG SOCJS HILY SHIT AASSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 
Millennial socks are small socks that stop at the ankle, or even the ones you can’t see at all above the shoe (I loved these!). Zoomer socks are generally crew socks – any sock pulled up high. They invented them (citation needed). Also, I think they’re actually called gen Z socks – my beloved zoomer colleagues are always telling me that only millennials say zoomer.
I LOVED THESE 
"They invented them" 
CITATION FUCKING NEEDED
OK, so millennials love ankle socks – good to know. But why is Jennifer Lawrence being called “brave” by Vogue for stepping out in “millennial socks”?
SOMEONE PUT THE PEOPLE IN TEEN VOGUE IN CHARGW OF THE WHOLE BRAMD PLEASE FOR THE LIFE OF GOD
Ah, I think because one of the most tragic things you can be in some corners of the internet is a woman in her 30s dressing herself with no regard for a trend.
INCOHERENT SCREAMING
Oh no, what about a woman in her 40s?
LOUDER INCOHERENT SCREAMING
I don’t believe they exist.
INCOHERENT SOBBING
So, ahem, the long and short of it is that gen Z have pulled their socks up?
TF2 SOLDIER SCREAMING NOISE
Ha! They’ve also moved their hair part to the middle, millennials favour the side part. And they’re wearing enormous pants – skinny jeans are definitely out. Also high-waisted jeans are a millennial relic. Gen Z are wearing pants that hang off their hips.
SQUEALING PIG THAT SHAT ON ITS BALLS NOISES
Wait, I wore pants that hung off my hips!
I CANT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS FUCKING MONOLOGUE TONGUE-IN-CHEEK
Ssshh, ssshhhh. This is the first time in history that any of this is cool. And it will stay cool for ever. There definitely won’t be articles in 10 years calling a 35-year-old zoomer “brave” for wearing crew socks.
PLEASE LET ME BE MOULDERING IN A GRAVE BEFORE THIS HAPPENS
With temperatures hovering around 0C this week, leaving ankles across pre-Y2K generations practically frostbitten, I have been wearing crew socks instead of ankle socks. This Xennial is accidentally cool now.
Fucking amateur, just-freezing is great weather to be wearing summer clothes in.
What level of bourgeoisie is it when you care about fucking sock fashion?
This makes me want to kill everyone ever.
I mean, the original lower class agitators of the French Revolution were distinguished by their lack of long silk socks. So it's basically on the level of the OG bourgeoisie.
So millenials are the real revolutionaries for wearing ankle socks.
What if they wore no socks though, like the sans culottes.
I acre about those things the same way I care about horoscopes or the latest TV show. It's inconsequential, entertaining bullshit that's fun to talk about in a gossipy way. I would never judge somebody by how long their socks are, nor I would hang with people who unironically did either.
Also I care about fashion because some clothes are pretty and thrifting is fun to me. It's just my hobby, I don't care how other people dress.
Me first pls I'm disappointed I have to live in a world where people are apparently judging my got dang socks
I'm not opposed to the idea, though I'd prefer a masculine color.
You got me there. Thanks for reminding me about how silly that thinking can be. I'm getting there but, sometimes the insecurities show themselves.
Owl Facts:
Did you know, inside every masculine person, you can find every feminine color?
True. I just shouldn't get too caught up in something so impermanent as the socially constructed meaning of colors. It seems silly when you step back for a second, especially when the color can have a completely different meaning in a different culture.
I'll tell you my Millennial sock problem. The enshittification of fabric production has decreased the quality and duribility of socks significantly. Toes breaking through. Heels disintegrating. Just absolute trash duribility these days. I have NAVY sweats from boot camp 20 years ago that still have their full color and feel. So it isn't a matter of they can't produce quality fabrics. It's they cheapened them .... probably on purpose to break them and maximize profits.
This is true. And it doesn't matter how expensive they are. They're all made of the same cheap shit.
I buy literally nothing but darn tough socks from Vermont. They all carry a lifetime replacement guarantee and their no show ultra lights are perfect for running in Texas heat.
Those socks look like an awesome brand. I'm definitely getting some and thanks for mentioning it!
I'm slowly replacing all my socks with these as my old ones wear out, they're fantastic.
I’ve complete this transition and it’s wonderful. Steep up front costs, but as long as I do t love them I can replace them forever. Sending some worn ones back and getting new socks in the mail for free is awesome.
These look great, but still all seem to be still 50% plastic. Is there nowhere I can get nice socks that have no plastic in them?
Was going to say all my socks are hand me downs and they're all fraying and have holes in them.
Good socks pls
You think if we get socks from other non-shit countries they'll be of higher quality in make?
About 2 months ago people started making memes about how millennials tend to wear short socks and gen z wear higher socks and it's a funny way of identifying one or the other, and it seems like the news only just caught on to what's already a stale joke
all my millennial friends and I are zoomers I guess
shit
I'm a cusp millennial so it checks out for me. I never could relate to all those 90s things the folks born in the 80s keep talking about. I had to learn about their lore through video essays
I wear my socks pulled up because if they slip down into my shoe I'll die. Worst thing that can happen to someone with autism.
ADHD-PI sensory issues checking in. I absolutely despise short socks or falling socks. Also, any liquid in the ankle and foot part of the sock (slightly less annoyed when shin/calf area for some reason) is pure torture.
I knew a guy who bought socks 4 sizes larger that also had long ankles and stuffed both the ankles and excess toe cloth into his shoes
Imagine having to hear intergenerational talk all the time about every single little thing... imagine
Same as with banal nationalism. Which also works as a sock discourse. Saying this as one of the wool sock country folks.
So my gen X ass looks millenial in the summer and zoomer in the winter, ok. Lol
Who even pays attention to peoples socks? I don't even know what other people look like (as in eye colour and such).
Who even pays attention to peoples socks?
Big Sock trying to pressure everyone to replace their sock drawer.
I don't get it. I'm a millennial and I've been wearing crew cut socks my entire life. Nobody ever notices because I usually refuse to wear shorts, even though I live in a tropical climate.
I'd wear calf socks if I could but they don't sell them in most retail outlets.
I don't get it. I'm a millennial and I've been wearing crew cut socks my entire life.
Me in Alaska.
It's been north of 70s F, even cranking close to 90s a few times, up here the past few weeks and people have been looking at me like I'm a foreigner because I dress like it's fall and don't react to the heat.
It's not my fault my internal thermometers been broken by my travels and it takes extreme temperatures for me to actually dress accordingly to their conditions
People look at me like I'm weird for wearing an undershirt under my regular shirt in oven temps. How else am I going to catch the sweat. That and going to the beach wearing jeans, lol.
I think the most genuinely oddest thing I've seen cloths and weather-wise was when I was out in the Arizona desert in the Phoenix area in December - fuckin hated it there it was so fucking hot like what Demon decided to build a city there - being dragged around to do shopping at a mall and lo and fucking behold I see people wearing motherfucking parkas in the middle of a fucking desert.
My ass was bundled up in all white loose clothes like I'm on an expedition through the Arabian desert and I'm looking at these old ass crackers complaining about how cold it was like I'm looking at the little green aliens mascot they have in the town of Roswell.
Makes sense for old folks, especially if they have some sort of neuropathy. But I draw the line at getting out my parent's old New York coats just because it's December. It's too hot for that nowadays. I miss when it got that cold. The dew droplets used to look so pretty when they froze overnight on the patches of clover.
About ten years ago I spent a small christmas bonus on a really great winter coat, because I was spending a lot of time waiting at train platforms in winter conditions that were like -20° and windy. I haven't needed to wear it in nearly five years.
I like to joke that all us New Yorkers here have closets full of winter coats that we rarely use. My father, for instance has a fine leather jacket that is lined with fur which he bought nearly 40 years ago. He hardly ever wears it, and recently had to take out for it's annual dusting, lol.
Dog I can't imagine trying to dress up for anything in Florida it's so freaking humid down there.*
*for clarification ive only been to Orlando in October once, and have been told there's plenty of other parts of Florida that don't actually suck as much.
It's becoming like Phoenix but, because of how the humidity makes the heat index so deadly.
I rarely ever go to Orlando but, from my experience the Atlantic coast is beautiful in its own way. Especially if there aren't any resorts built yet.
I wear socks that go above the ankle even in summer because the smaller ones have my shoes chafe the skin on my Achilles' tendon, causing small but uncomfortable marks
Yep, altho I bought ones that go below the ankle but they go above the achilles' tendon on the back, so I use those in the summer. Otherwise I prefer higher socks specially in colder days, otherwise my ankles will get cold.
Millennial socks this. Zoomer socks that. I simply hate no-shows.
I'm surprised this isn't a Gen Z bashing article lmao
