her,,, expolde
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This is probably silly, but one of my main fears when starting HRT was that it would change my hair color. I have really deep red hair, and I already felt kinda lucky that I got to keep it into adulthood since a lot of people lose a lot of the color very early, same as how there's way more kids than adults with bright blonde hair.
No sign of change yet though! Well on my way on the redhead twink to redhead doll pipeline
I'm still deciding whether to start HRT or not, I probably will (still figuring gender out), but my main fear is that I don't want to give up my 'lean' muscle build, I like how they look, also passive self defense from fash
If you keep a relatively stable exercise regimen, you will lose less muscle than you would think.
Good to know, I'm horrible at keeping schedules once interrupted tbh, right now I'm tired and I haven't went to the gym in a month as my current schedule doesn't allow it and my gym is far away
The muscle goes away quite a bit faster once you’re estrogen dominant, and the potential highs of strength are lower, but you absolutely can keep your muscles.
I rock climb regularly and have been on HRT for the length that allows me to perform with the cis, and I still am quite muscular for a woman. I love it.
That does sound wonderful! Glad to hear that. First I need to not be dead inside and apathetic this much and I can proceed with things.. I hope
I can’t say I feel less dead inside, but I feel less shit otherwise when I’ve exercised. I understand it’s hard to get the motivation when you don’t have a dog to walk or a team you’re on. Idk.
YMMV, but HRT has definitely helped me feel a lot less dead inside. So much so that
past si
I haven’t felt any suicidial ideation in over a year at this point, while before it was a nigh constant phenomenon.
E is not a magic bullet, but it is something that can mark a marked positive difference in your life. I hope this helps.
Feel free to ask us all if you have any questions too!
I have heard this from many people, I can only hope at this point, and sure I'll see thanku:3
I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about the muscle loss, but in a weird way it was kinda healing for me. I "naturally" lean towards skinny, which I often felt really insecure about as a guy, and the years before I transitioned I'd spent a lot of effort on eating more and going to the gym to get bigger. When I started HRT I fell back to pretty much the same weight as my pre-gym days very fast, and it was honestly so cathartic to final allow myself to be happy about being small after it caused me so much insecurity earlier in my life.
The self defense thing does just kinda suck though. I hate that I don't feel safe walking alone at night any more, and that whenever I go out with my friends I need to have a plan for how to get back to my apartment safely. But on the other hand, being in a group has always been much better for self defense than muscles, so maybe I was just an idiot before.
I know a non-binary transfem who is on a moderate does of E without an androgen blocker, so if keeping most of your muscle is really important to you, maybe you could consider something like that. I don't really know how it works though, just that there exists other hormone treatments than the traditional mtf or ftm routes.
I was anorexic when I was younger cause I didn't want to "look girly" funnily enough lol, now I've bulked like 30kg but I'm still 'lean', though I like the muscle.
Muscles aren't good for defense, just appearances and passive intimidation, which is what I use. But hell that doesn't work either most of the time, cause if you break heteronormative standards you still get immediately looked down upon
Ooh that sounds interesting, I will research it more, thanku
I’ve been paranoid for a while and I still have muscles. I’m thinking about relatively high female t levels or something. Lower androgen blockers or something.
I am naturally blonde so all my body hair is blonde, but I dye my hair black. My hair would lighten in the sun to bright blonde but i haven't been in the sun for over 30 years. Mainly because I have translucent skin and I can't stand the feeling of it on my skin. It helps being a goth lol.
I also chop my hair to keep it chin length.
so you're basically a vampire?
I have been compared to one more than once, I used to joke about me wanting to find a coffin to sleep in and I also used to sleep during the day lol
Keeping my vampiric wife out of the sun
I need to keep covered
good lord
I also enjoy the taste of blood so watch out eggy lol just don't invite me in you'll be okay ^^
If you promise to only take a little I'll still let you in
Only a thimble full ^^
I can accommodate that :3 bring your nerd wife too
Hard pass on being in the sun I dont like the tingly feeling I get like 5 seconds into sunlight.
I still try sometimes but only with lots of sunscreen
I get that tingly feeling all the time in it so I stay in the shade as much as possible. I am one of the palest people you'd meet lol like you can see my veins through my skin easily, even on my face. I never have trouble taking blood either you can see the veins track through my skin
I always cover up so I don't really use it, I wear hats and such to keep it off me, though when forced to wear it I have to have one that evaporates quickly, I have sensory issues with creams if they're too heavy.
i don't think i have the veins as visible as you on the face, but defs on my arms etc. tbh i think i'm like 80% you, but unfortunately i don't have the cool goth aesthetic going on, i'd describe my aesthetic more as "confused about fashion" mixed with "obvious tech worker" ... I don't think I'd stand out in a crowd that much (just as planned)... edit: or maybe i would? i do sometimes feel stares. people tell me it's because people think i'm cute... idk about that
yeah i feel that, i use different sunscreen for face vs body and defs it's a bit of a challenge with the heavier ones. i've been meaning to get into hats, but i'm scared about the subtext attached to them ("what does a big hat tell people about me??") gods i wish i could just stop caring about this stuff. biggest struggle for me with sunscreen isn't sensory, though, but breakouts, and i guess the smell can be a bit overwhelming (okay different kind of sensory), and sometimes they get in my eyes when i'm sweating in the summer ughhhh
somehow the "nerd" at the end made it a lot more endearing lmfao thank you
Yeah the skin on my face is very thin like if I don't have makeup on you'd see the veins fairly easily through the skin, I have ones near my eye sockets and where the skin is more translucent in places too, like see through.
My aesthetic is pale goth, wears dark clothes all year round. I have a presence that people won't mess with me basically.. I have people back off when I project it. But most will let me go about my business freely. I don't get stared at, I can become kind of invisible in ways, people won't really pay attention to me if I don't want them to lol I can intimidate people with it too, I have had a few store clerks freak out when I'm just standing and not know what I'm doing lol I'm usually just waiting or reading what's on the shelves or something. Most I can swoop around without them even noticing me.
I know fashion fairly well, I spent a long time growing up watching fashion programs, reading and learning about clothing and such, I also like makeup and smellies so I like scents too, I have a very good sense of smell.
Most people don't care about other people around them, they are too busy wrapped up in their own little bubble. Fashion may stand out if you have a nice fit and such, people generally compliment others on that. Personally I don't care, you know how I feel lol but I really don't care what other people think. I usually wear lighter clothing under a very light coat or jumper so my skin can breathe in the heat.. but I hate feeling sweaty, it's torture, though I endure that because I really hate feeling the sun on me.
Literal supernatural void being shit
Pretty much how I am, Ash can confirm how people are with me
My wife actually has a real passive invisiblity buff somehow. Literal supernatural void being cloaked from the perceptions of others
I get why you like the vampire game so much, you’re basically married to one
that's cool as heck tbh
i like dark clothes better than light clothes, i think they work better with my pale skin, so i can relate, except i get sweaty in the heat and that is not fun, so i have to mix it up when it's hot (or, you know, stay inside in the AC lol), or wear shorts (ugh, i have HUGE scars on my legs from multiple surgeries due to a birth defect)
i love tights and stockings of all kinds though (except when the waistbands dig in) and i want to wear those out more, more skirts etc.
that's really cool! i found fashion programs ok when i was young, but my experiences on reddit have made me swear off the fashion community in general because i found myself being very limited and anxiety-ridden with what's "in style" - this is in part why I find binary labels so constricting these days, but i worry about how people see me so much.
i too have a really sensitive sense of smell, but i don't do scents on myself other than like deodorant (when i remember to put it on whoops lucky i don't usually smell too strong) because i'm worried about what that will say about me
edit whoops missed a sentence: yes i know that feeling, which is worse, sun or sweat. not an easy choice for me. i like the cold better because i can bundle up, wear scarves, gloves, tights, layers, boots, and not worry about sweating!
It depends for me, I can mix it up a little but I tend to gravitate to black lol. I get too warm too but I shop for breathable fabrics which helps a lot too, thinner clothes work better in the heat in the Summer even if they're black. Skirts help and I love stockings too. I was born a month premature so I am strange shaped through that and I have a short ribcage and other weird things going on genetically but alas.
I just wear what i want really, I have some idea on styles and such but I tend to just wear what is comfortable too, I don't keep up to date with modern trends and such, I just know certain styles of shirts or skirts etc.
Keep saying it to yourself when you start to worry. If you observe people when out, you'll notice they'll just go about doing their own thing without really looking around them at other people, rarely do you get people observing the people they're more looking at the shelves and such.
I take sweat over the sun lol I also love the colder weather to the point where I can wear thin leggings in -20C weather and not have it affect me. I used to sleep with my window open in the winter too lol
it goes with everything! it gives nice contrast with my skin tone! it's slimming! it makes me look slightly mysterious! i agree, although i also have a fondness for coloured tights, you'll probably just catch me wearing dark fall colours with those though.
would you believe i'm 15 years into transition, have a job where i need to be extremely social, and yet still haven't solved this problem? i will try your approach! (I observe people a LOT, i am unfortunately prone to staring...)
YES i love winter, although i do have to bundle up for it, i'd rather be cold than hot since i can always put on more clothes and be cozier, but in summer i feel less cozy with bare skin
I sometimes mix in a little bit of colour too just to break up the black lol
A bit ahead of me ^^
Yeah I was aware I can stare so I tend to change what I'm looking at a bit more frequently.
Same, though I'm pretty warm blooded so I can counter the cold naturally, I'm like a radiator lol
sick yeah if you wear mostly black adding a little bit of colour really makes it pop, looks ultra-deliberate and very chic
this seems like it would have a lot of benefits. i am totally the opposite lol i get cold so easy even in summer (maybe due to good AC or maybe cold floor?) (still love winter the best tho), and partner is warm, so i sometimes put my hands under his shirt to warm them up which he uh tolerates
yeah I tend to usr scaces and such for the colour
My wife basically uses me as a radiator lol which I enjoy because im always roasting and I enjoy the cold feeling of cold hands or feet
I hate the feeling of sunscreen too. Creams and lotions in general too. Like I keep hearing how important skincare routines are but I just hate the feeling of touching lotion. If it’s a light lotion it’s not so bad to just have it on my skin but I hate touching it with my hands. Like even hand soap kind of icks me out but at least I force myself to use it
Hats don’t fit me but I’ve thought about getting a parasol to keep the sun off my face but I’m kind of nervous about seeming weird if I use one
Anything that is thick and stays on the skin is not something I'd use, I have a really good light lotion that evaporates within a few minutes thankfully. I have to wash my hands if they get dirty too, sit with napkins and such unless it's real bad and I have to clean off. Parasols should be normalised, I'm fortunate to be small so I can get away with different articles of clothing but I dunno I love my hats and I wear sunglasses too even in winter lol
what i would give for naturally red hair lol. my mam has it but I'm more of a brunette/dirty blonde depending on the season. I'm pretty sure HRT made my hair curly though which rocks
Curls do in fact rock
Not silly at all! A funny thing that I have noticed as I have grown my hair out is that several folks have complimented me on how dark my hair is. It is just a shade lighter than black. I have had folks ask if I dye my hair darker, lmao
Hrt that changes your hair colour (or not)