I heard some whoppers:

:galaxy-brain: "I have studied every religion. They are all parts of the same universal truth... except Boodyhizzim." (yes he pronounced Buddhism as Boodyhizzim.)

:wojak-nooo: "I am so sick of poor people dominating gaming. Developers are forced to make weaker games with worse graphics because the poor need to be catered do. My rig is top of the line and nothing uses its full potential."

:frothingfash: "Being gay is a choice. Gay men aren't just d---------s, they're lazy because men always want to get laid and it's easier to fuck men."

  • NomadicWarMachine [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Not sure if this really counts but I once had a guy at work tell me the most original conspiracy theory I've ever heard, that being that Japan secretly won WWII and the National Park Service was actually a front for an elite group of Samurai to control the US.

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      damn hes like that one japanese guy in some place in oceania that just kept killing and refused to believe the japanese surrendered in ww2

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      Sounds like some secret sentai team that protects galactic peace against cybermonsters that can get really big and need a big robot to fight.

    • Wildgrapes [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Don't you litter in this pristine forest now lest you face the steel of smokey the bear.

      • Orannis62 [ze/hir]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I'm legit playing a tabletop campaign right now where this is the premise. Bears found a supernatural artifact that made them progressively smarter with each generation, and at the time of the campaign, they're now attacking campers who start camp fires because only the bears should be allowed to have fire

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    My mother has asserted to me multiple times that the British public votes to retain the monarchy every year because it's a democratic institution.

    Kind of basic, but all of my coworkers believe they'll someday run the company and it won't just be the owner's son.

    My old boss who worked in a field to offer social services to recently released prisoners believed that all prisoners should be castrated. She would also tell me certain words in English were inherently male or female and men could be made more docile by changing their vocabulary to more feminine words. One time she told me Obama was born in Saudi Arabia.

    The most brainwormed thing I've ever heard is my coworker's proposal for a perfect society that he explained to me over several months. It would involve every single person in their own enclosed environment they're not allowed to leave. All their needs are supplied to them through an AI mastermind that no living person is allowed to reprogram or control. He said this is important because humans can't be trusted. No physical interaction between people is allowed. All reproduction is done through artificial insemination. The only time two people interact is when one person is accused of some kind of crime. He never specified what a crime would be, but whatever. When a crime occurs, you and your peers are put onto some kind of zoom call and discuss the crime like a trial. Then a vote occurs throughout the whole community and if the suspect is found guilty, they're incinerated immediately. If not found guilty, every person in the nearby area is given a camera feed into their life pod thing for the next 3 months. Also this guy idolized Ted Kaczynski

    • NomadicWarMachine [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The most brainwormed thing I’ve ever heard is my coworker’s proposal for a perfect society that he explained to me over several months. It would involve every single person in their own enclosed environment they’re not allowed to leave. All their needs are supplied to them through an AI mastermind that no living person is allowed to reprogram or control. He said this is important because humans can’t be trusted. No physical interaction between people is allowed. All reproduction is done through artificial insemination. The only time two people interact is when one person is accused of some kind of crime. He never specified what a crime would be, but whatever. When a crime occurs, you and your peers are put onto some kind of zoom call and discuss the crime like a trial. Then a vote occurs throughout the whole community and if the suspect is found guilty, they’re incinerated immediately. If not found guilty, every person in the nearby area is given a camera feed into their life pod thing for the next 3 months. Also this guy idolized Ted Kaczynski

      That's not even Lib or Chud brained, I think that guy is legitimately mentally deranged.

    • jkfjfhkdfgdfb [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      if people aren't interacting in any way what crimes can there possibly be :thinking-about-it:

      • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        my best guess would be any sort of attempt to escape your pod or refusing to do the daily rituals he wanted people assigned to (like a pledge of allegiance to the super computer was one of them)

    • WoofWoof91 [comrade/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      apropos of nothing, but is there a high concentration of lead or industrial waste in your area?

      • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I live and grew up in east Texas, so yes to those and also more. Also very intense car culture and benzene clouds floating around

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The :panopticon: isn't real, it can't hurt you.

      standing behind me

      :knife-threat: :panopticon: :knife-threat:

      • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        like, all of it or something specifically?

        i'm learning from y'all that I might be surrounded by an above average amount of complete fish brained reactionaries and everything just sounds the same to me now

    • Owl [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Wow what the fuck.

      I give you 2:1 odds that he left out a detail that, if included, would make it clear that this society is actually an elaborate fetish fantasy.

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The most brainwormed thing I’ve ever heard is my coworker’s proposal for a perfect society that he explained to me over several months. It would involve every single person in their own enclosed environment they’re not allowed to leave. All their needs are supplied to them through an AI mastermind that no living person is allowed to reprogram or control. He said this is important because humans can’t be trusted. No physical interaction between people is allowed. All reproduction is done through artificial insemination. The only time two people interact is when one person is accused of some kind of crime. He never specified what a crime would be, but whatever. When a crime occurs, you and your peers are put onto some kind of zoom call and discuss the crime like a trial. Then a vote occurs throughout the whole community and if the suspect is found guilty, they’re incinerated immediately. If not found guilty, every person in the nearby area is given a camera feed into their life pod thing for the next 3 months. Also this guy idolized Ted Kaczynski

      this is legitimately insane and probably the result of some sort of extreme paranoia

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      The most brainwormed thing I’ve ever heard is my coworker’s proposal for a perfect society that he explained to me over several months. It would involve every single person in their own enclosed environment they’re not allowed to leave. All their needs are supplied to them through an AI mastermind that no living person is allowed to reprogram or control. He said this is important because humans can’t be trusted. No physical interaction between people is allowed. All reproduction is done through artificial insemination. The only time two people interact is when one person is accused of some kind of crime. He never specified what a crime would be, but whatever. When a crime occurs, you and your peers are put onto some kind of zoom call and discuss the crime like a trial. Then a vote occurs throughout the whole community and if the suspect is found guilty, they’re incinerated immediately. If not found guilty, every person in the nearby area is given a camera feed into their life pod thing for the next 3 months. Also this guy idolized Ted Kaczynski

      This would actually be a very popular take in capital-R "rationalist" circles, or at least be debated as if it isn't fucking horrifying and is instead an interesting proposal. :agony-4horsemen:

    • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Turning your society into a game of Paranoia to own the libs?

      Remember citizens, the Computer is your friend :1984:

      • barrbaric [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Clones in Paranoia have way more freedom than that, hell, mutants have more freedom.

    • wowowewewow [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      way to completely miss the point of ted's body of work, jesus christ.

        • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
          ·
          2 years ago

          i suspect he may have been taking the piss if he's really a fan of uncle ted. but also a lot of too-online neoreactionaries have this bizarre relationship with "modernity" where they view it as the death spiral of humanity and still want to accelerate it (i haven't read Land's Fanged Noumena but i'm pretty sure this is what it's about).

          • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
            ·
            edit-2
            2 years ago

            I knew this person for 2 years, so if he was just doing a bit, it was extremely committed and he never broke character. He also wasn't online at all. But maybe that was part of the bit too. I don't know.

    • anaesidemus [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      words in English were inherently male or female and men could be made more docile by changing their vocabulary to more feminine words

      ok so there are languages where words have arbitrary genders, English is not one of them, and there is the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis so who knows, it might work. Better than castration at least.

  • Quaxamilliom [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    In line at a burrito place in SF a week or so after Russia went into Ukraine, some middle age white lib told her friend 'it's gonna be sooooo (insert vocal fry) hard to boycott sushi when China invades Taiwan'

    • LoudMuffin [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      White people are so fucked, I've spent my entire life hearing about how my entire ethnic group is a bunch of subhuman morlocks pouring over the border while also hearing how much everyone loves Mexican food

      • D61 [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        :geordi-no: "White" people

        :geordi-yes: Mexican food

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      The worst thing about war is performative treat fasting :agony-minion:

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      He had told me we needed a plague deal with wealth inequality, so I don’t know why he cared for the landlords of China…

      People who are, one one hand "BLACK BOOK OF GOMMUNISM!" then immediately turn around and say "Akshually we need a plague to kill 4 billion people" are fascinating specimens.

    • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      He had told me we needed a plague deal with wealth inequality, so I don’t know why he cared for the landlords of China…

      I don't think that's because he expects people with a lot of money to get sick, tbh.

    • Nagarjuna [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I may have said “it isn’t anyone elses fault you’ve never had an orgasm” to the most horrified face I have ever seen.

      god. damn.

    • LoudMuffin [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Monarchy is so fucking stupid you could just quote Locke at them lmao

      • Ho_Chi_Chungus [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Some days I feel like I just have some REALLY shit political takes but honestly at least I'm nowhere near as bad as fucking monarchists. Knowing those guys exist make me feel like I have a brain the size of the moon

  • WhyEssEff [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    “Fukuyama was actually correct but China couldn’t have that so they engineered a world in which he was wrong”

    So he’s wrong, right? That means he’s wrong. Courtesy of my last stem Fukuyama stan professor.

  • catgirlcommunist [any]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    some chud was talking about the elites who are trying to take away our freedom or some run of the mill chud shit like that and I was just zoning out cause I was at work and couldn’t get out of the conversation, but then I heard her mention “the wealthy baristas” and I just busted out laughing. Like, motherfucker, hate the green haired baristas all you want I guess, but it takes some real intense brainworms to think they’re wealthy.

  • kristina [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    'I don't care what we do to homeless people. Kill them, imprison them, give them houses. I don't care. I just don't wanna be approached by a filthy man that just shit himself while I'm on a date with my girl.'

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    "No one has ever eaten bats/wild pigs/monkeys or anything harmful in modern times, every single modern disease since HIV, including Ebola and COVID 19, has been made in a lab. Either by the Americans, Chinese or Russians."

    Guy said this to me in person irl in February 2020 when COVID starred going global. Guy then proceeded to stalk and harrass one of my friends because he wanted to date her.

    Yes, all of this actually happened. Very cool and normal people here in South Africa.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Apartheid :brainworms: are really something. They even gave us the savior of humanity. :my-hero:

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      being in his late 40s. All of his references are from shit in the 90s and he has the worst take on every subject like it’s his job.

      Damn, I'm feeling called out.

    • VHS [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      All of his references are from shit in the 90s and he has the worst take on every subject like it’s his job.

      I think a lot of right-wingers opinions are stuck in the 90s, I've heard several of them whine about the welfare that Bill Clinton wiped out like 30 years ago like it's still a current thing.

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Americans in general have no idea how paltry and dehumanizing and hard to get welfare is in the US. They still believe in Reagan era lies about "Welfare Queens" like 1980 wasn't forty years ago.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        2 years ago

        Some of them still rant about how feeemales are obsessed with Sex and the City and all expect their men to look like Brad Pitt. :grillman:

      • CrimsonSage [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I one time, in front of a guy doing the whole "ezy welfare queen" thing, pulled up the florida state website on welfare and showed him it was like 50 bucks and fruit basket aside from food stamps, and he still refused to believe me. Like I dared him to try and find/apply for more and he would just refuse and dig in his heels that "unmarried mothers" were getting like 50K a year.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      “I had to kick a friend out of my apartment the other day because he said billionaires should be taxed. I told him that’s socialism and go live in Venezuela if that’s what he wants. I couldn’t listen to that absolute bullshit. Billionaires deserve their money.”

      :bootlicker:

      “Women should never make as much as men because they’re nowhere as near as smart as us.”

      "Why don't feeemales want to date me twice? Feminism has ruined the westoids!" :wojak-nooo:

      “I’d do the same if I had his money.”

      This isn't actually incorrect. What are billionaires but the worst people with the most money? He's just missing the money part. :lord-bezos-amused:

      Kinda wild he has a half dozen sexual harassment complaints made against him but still has his job.

      I shouldn't be surprised but I am anyway. :agony-soviet:

    • ShareThatBread [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Ask him to do something and say you’ll pay him. Then later day you’ve changed the terms of the deal and the exposure and experience he’s received is worth more than the money ever could.

    • skeletorsass [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Kinda wild he has a half dozen sexual harassment complaints made against him but still has his job.

      Standard.

  • buh [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I know multiple people who fully buy into the idea that homeless people have the easiest lives and all make 6 figures anually from panhandling

    • Orannis62 [ze/hir]
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is actually a really common set of brainworms in the Deaf community. To start, there's resentment of "peddlers", which are Deaf people who "play up" their deafness while panhandling to evoke sympathy and make more money, often by handing out cards with the manual alphabet on them. So far, you can sort of see where that resentment might come from, in that the Deaf community is really big on Deafhood being a positive thing and that plays off deafness being a negative thing to get sympathy and money.

      But then, as part of that resentment, people are convinced that these peddlers are all super rich, which is also meant to make the non-peddler Deaf people martyrs- "I could be rich too if I was willing to shuck and jive, but I have too much dignity for that" basically

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
        ·
        2 years ago

        that doesn't sound like much of a "community" to me. like, it's a disability. if someone doesn't have the social bonds and material necessities that deaf and hearing people rely on, suddenly it becomes a lot more disabling.

        • CrimsonSage [any]
          ·
          edit-2
          2 years ago

          Yes but deaf people have their own language group and culture that that entails. You get some really interesting inter community fights about it, especially surrounding things like coclear implants. Like I can see both sides of the argument, it's a quite interesting conundrum.

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I remember some "investigative reporting" back in the 00s or 90s or something that pushed the idea that panhandlers were all making 5-6 figures and living in nice houses and shit. And people, being gullible, bought in to this shit. Point is, it's not something people came up with themselves, the idea was actually promulgated by the media at various points.

      • The_Walkening [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        It's John Stossel . He did the whole "homeless people getting into BMWs" thing ( never mind that old luxury cars can be cheap, because they can break if you look at them funny)

        • Frank [he/him, he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I got that bullshit personally when I used to help out with some toys for tots programs. "Look at these shameful homeless people with their new cars" like a car isn't a requirement to work. And at the time car payments were probably a couple of hundred dollars a month. But no clearly bc they were driving a car that was only a few years old they had stacks of hidden wealth that they were lying about so they could get a barbie and a football for their kids.

      • Weedian [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        fucking king of the hill has an episode about this

        • Good_Username [they/them,e/em/eir]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I really enjoy king of the hill, but my god, some of the episodes are just so, so bad. Like, the powderpuff football game, which was basically "misogyny: the episode". Or that time Peggy is singlehandedly responsible for gentrifying a neighborhood because she sold some houses to hipsters. Or that time Hank starts working at that food co-op, where apparently no one had ever figured out how to rotate stock before Hank showed them how. Or that time Peggy makes friends with a trans woman? Drag queen? The show is very unclear and much of the conflict of the episode centers around the issue that Peggy is feeling confident and feminine about her feet for the first time, but she's hanging out with "men", so is she really finding femininity?

          So yeah, amusing show with some stand out bits, but so much of it is so, so bad. And I really wish Hank (and Peggy) would realize they're being asses before the last minute or so of the episode. They never learn, they just do the same assholeish behavior every episode and then at the end they're always like, oh wait, I'm an ass. And after like 2 seasons of that I was already over it.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      They're fine with the richest men(children) on the planet getting richer while tweeting all day.

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    My father is opposed to public housing, public investment in housing, homeless shelters, etc, but he's also in favor of the government building a whole lot of houses for homeless people to live in.

    No he cannot successfully elaborate on whatever he thinks the distinction is.

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    “I am so sick of poor people dominating gaming. Developers are forced to make weaker games with worse graphics because the poor need to be catered do. My rig is top of the line and nothing uses its full potential.”

    Someone said this to me on this site lol. I think they deleted their account after getting dunked on

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Yeah, those developers from checks notes making games in 90's that I'm playing with an emulator on a 2011 toaster.

      Dev's and their time machines, man... :joker-gaming:

    • SuperNovaCouchGuy [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      :so-true: "IF IT DOESNT TURN BOTH YOUR GPU AND CPU SO HOT THAT THEY MELT THROUGH THE TABLE WITHOUT A MILITARY GRADE COOLING APPARATUS THEN THE GAME IS EFFEMINATE AND WEAK!"

  • Teekeeus [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    "Stop complaining about american imperialism, it's not the worst thing ever, you're just centering america. How can you say it's the worst and most authoritarian nation, there are places that are worse, america ain't perfect but it's better than the alternatives."

    -Lib journalists based in southeast asia, of all regions (famously not impacted by american imperialism)

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      but it’s better than the alternatives

      This is said for pretty much every bad thing in capitalism, imperialism, neoliberalism, and other things with near-complete overlap, too. :zizek-fuck:

    • machiabelly [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      It's that shitty churchill quote

      Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time

      I've heard variations of that quote throughout my entire life, constantly. I hate it so much,

      • Teekeeus [comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Some of them are southeast asian themselves (working for lib media and/or funded by lib NGOs)

  • HodgePodge [love/loves]
    ·
    2 years ago

    “Transgenderism is a choice, every man wishes he was a woman.”

    I was just like

    :huh: