I've noticed that in recent months it takes me hours to get started on work each day. Like, I might try to start at 7:00 but I'm not really getting much done till like 10:00 or 11:00. It's a problem since I'm paid piecemeal and not hourly, so the sooner I start the sooner I get done (and I want to be done as soon as possible). But I find that I spend so much time screwing around in the morning. Eventually I do get going and I'm pretty focused. But the first few hours are rough. Every day I kick myself for not getting started sooner, and every day I repeat it.
It's not depression. I do (relatively) enjoy the work I do. My current theory is I'm just majorly sleep deprived (I have little kids), so my brain is kinda mush and unfocused when I wake up. Curious if anyone has any ideas or if you have something similar going on.
Have you been assessed for ADHD?
I have ADHD and was diagnosed as an adult. When I'm not medicated it's kind of like I have too much inertia, it takes forever to start on tasks and it's really hard to stop when I want (I can sit on the couch playing a game I can pause at any time, recognize that I'm hungry or thirsty or have to pee, and still not get up to address it for an hour)
I also have a really hard time deciding on things like what to have for dinner, i have a hard time sticking to a schedule or keeping a calendar or remembering tasks, and i have trouble estimating or keeping track of time. I also tend to focus much better if I've had stimulants like caffeine or alcohol (or the fun drugs that I'm now prescribed), and I have a very hard time forming new habits
:this:
I feel the exact same way. If I don't get my funny drugs my brain is like an engine that won't start whereas I can actually get shit done (both the shit I have to do and the shit I want to do) if I'm medicated. It's not a miracle cure and I still have times when my brain just grinds to a halt but it's much less than before.
Drugs are good. You should do them.
Firstly, :soviet-heart:
Secondly, it may be depression. Depression isn’t just “not loving” your work. It’s a mental disease that takes many forms. It might be best to talk to a professional about it.
Thirdly, it could absolutely be sleep deprivation. Do you get 7-8 hrs of sleep? How’s your diet? Do you get enough exercise? Have you experienced additional stress recently? There could be a number of factors.
Lastly, :soviet-heart:
This, I suffer this too. Takes me forever to do even things I want to do, if I even do them at all
Have you looked into the phenomenon of initiation deficit? It tends to be associate with brain injuries but in my personal, anecdotal experience it also turns up a lot in just people who have experienced trauma. I know I have it... really bad. Like to the point that I can't get started on something I've been deeply looking forward to. I get paralyzed. It's difficult to explain to people who don't experience it. It's like a narcolepsy of action. Even a narcolepsy of joy. I don't have any good links on hand (sorry) but here is something that at a glance seems to get into it a little and more importantly, offers some coping mechanisms. I haven't vetted it, so to speak.
u/harajukum mentions "exective dysfunction." This is a very related term (I believe broader in meaning) that is also worth researching. It's come up a few times on hexbear. Hopefully it's searchable now.
Anyway, solidarity to you comrade. I struggle with this shit immensely and I wish I had some solid answers for you.
Habits one would expect a pause and break effect. If habits persist over time without being able to break free from them then it becomes a psychological issue.
One should seek help of some kind at that point. Humans are first and foremost social creatures and need help from others to function properly. Therapy can be one of those options. Pharms another.
