https://www.reddit.com/r/ottawa/comments/yrflmk/beat_up_by_an_8_or_9_year_old_park_at_richcraft/

  • 7bicycles [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    this sits at a very weird superposition of the guy talking like he's been in many a fights and has accepted loss against a more skilled opponent and that opponent being an 8 year old

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It's a regional subreddit, i wouldn't rule out he routinely gets into fights with 8 year olds.

    • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It's entirely possible this person is used to fighting drunk people while drunk, and was surprised someone could move at normal human speeds. Which both makes sense and makes them even more of a mess

      • OgdenTO [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        How is this the only Cuno reference in these comments

        Also, Cuno is the perfect kid sicko

        • star_wraith [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Just started playing for the first time 2 days ago! I understand this reference now!

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      ngl i weigh like 100 pounds soaking wet and am 5 foot tall so... uhh

      thats why i carry around an rpg everywhere i go

      • BeamBrain [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        How the fuck is carrying around Dungeons and Dragons or Shadowrun or some shit going to help if you get in a fight

        • kristina [she/her]
          ·
          edit-2
          2 years ago

          i cast fireball at the swarm of scary juveniles, its super effective

        • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Once you start explaining the rules they pull out their phone, and then once you are ready to play they have to leave. They'll try to schedule again and it will never work.

        • Mindfury [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          you fucking womp the kid with the hardcover monster manual

  • Antoine_St_Hexubeary [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Does this mean Ottawa has superstrong children or superweak adults? Both would have far-reaching strategic implications the next time the Convoy comes to town. I would actually prefer the latter because it's an excellent springboard for the "you people need guns" conversation.

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It just means Jreg's gigachad voter base was just too young to vote him in in a landslide

      With the power at their fingertips the Ottawall should be built in no time

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I used to work with quasi-troubled kids aged 10-17 and if an 8 year old can square up in front of you and land an unarmed hit on you that takes you out, you should never say anything to provoke anyone.

    if this isn't a bit, would not even know what to say to this person.

    • Ufot [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Just completely tripped over their own feet and didnt have enough strength to get up? I'm sure a kid could cause me pain but how weak/frail do you have to be for them to generate enough force to stop you from actually doing anything you wanted?

      Lol, Tissue paper jaw.

      • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I know. Like, all else aside, I simply have more muscles and better developed bones. If I just elbow them in the jaw and they have no serious reason to fight that should be the end of it.

        • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          that and kids at that age have zero guile or chill. they will telegraph their move as soon as it enters their head. like, not subtly either. 50/50 they'll say, "I am going to punch you in the mouth now" while staring at your chin and winding up like Donkey Kong.

          there is no 8 year old Bruce Lee running around doing crazy shit.

          • Dolores [love/loves]
            ·
            2 years ago

            there is no 8 year old Bruce Lee running around doing crazy shit.

            there is around ottawa clearly

          • UlyssesT [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            that and kids at that age have zero guile

            They're too young to go home and be a family man.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLzvDsLnhHE

            • Owl [he/him]
              ·
              2 years ago

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwVNBEymqoo

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I hope that kid said "Up yours, Daddy-O!" :up-yours-woke-moralists:

  • Awoo [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Put both hands on either side of the child, then proceed to yeet it into the sky.

    Like, seriously there is no fucking excuse for losing to an 8 year old. They've gotta be like 4st/25kg? You can literally yeet that over your head and into space.

    I'm a flimsy little thing and even I wouldn't lose to an 8 year old.

    • Weedian [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      you'll either be the person who beat up an 8 year old, or the person who got beat up by an 8 year old

      there's no good outcome to fighting an 8 year old

      • Mindfury [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        i'm absolutely convinced that if push came to shove (lmao), 99% of users here could still pick up and piledrive a 40kg child if such humiliation were on the line

        (the 1% are kerryposters)

          • Weedian [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            2 years ago

            remember when kat williams got beat up by a large child lol

            or that 5 year old who put their teacher in the hospital recently?

              • Weedian [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                you're absolutely right and that's a very good distinction to make, I was just pointing out that small children can still do real damage

            • Vampire [any]
              ·
              2 years ago

              https://yewtu.be/watch?v=ScbTqX0bTos

        • ComradeGuts [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Remember that survey where like 25% of people said they couldn't beat a rat in a fight? This feels related