mocking and quoting bigots I've seen so far
:liberalism: turns to 
"you know it's hexbear when the tankie pronoun parade shows up to force pictures of pigshit in front of you!"* real quick
[*this is paraphrased, I can't remember the exact original quote]
Or "so suddenly I'm Hitler because i think people calling themselves Fae gender is dumb"
Or "why should i need to learn a new set of different pronouns for every person I meet?" (this followed two comments after "I'm literally not a transphobe, I work with plenty of trans colleagues who feel safe around me" (average lib being scratched in real time by having to acknowledge neopronouns))
.
All of these shitheads claimed to be allies when they started interacting but our brilliant pronoun tags immediately made them out themselves as the bigots they are who only pretend to be allies because it looks bad to be openly and proudly transphobic
TL;DR: 
Bit idea: someone who is otherwise entirely unproblematic and stable, but always calls you Kyle, Karen, or Detective.
i call all white people kyle, that's just their culture's name
I name all the spiders in my house "Frank." I dunno why but it makes me laugh.
You have no idea how much I want someone to follow me around, call me Detective, and act mildly annoyed with my antics
in czechia each church had a roster of like 20 names for men and women to choose from for new babies, it makes searching records a huge chore lmao
And then 1600s British names be like "Kyle If-god-was-not-in-his-heaven-what-glory-in-our-penance Smithson (she/they)"
I will say I unironically struggle badly to remember people's names lol, but it would be even worse to forget someone's name and then remember my own stubborn bigoted refusal to learn their pronouns and then misgender them on top of that
I literally just got more people in my notifs fucking malding over neopronouns in fucking 196
The trap has been laid
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Edit: here's the link https://hexbear.net/post/338921
trap
Hey everyone we should de-federate from hexbear! They're still using this terminology!
GOTCHA
No, that's impossible, neopronouns were invented in 2015 by George Soros
In English records go back at least to 1858. https://archive.ph/Y0NXg
transmedicalist dingus proving once more that lemm.ee is the worst instance we now get to interact with
so you're telling me hexbear is more radically inclusive of trans people than the instance who's whole raison de etre is trans people? unironic
In fairness to blahaj it got deleted after about an hour but idk if the user is banned or not
Edit: I checked, they're not. blahaj mods need to crack down way harder on bigotry like that imo
hahaha god damn i love that PPB is our VFD (for the childhood Snickett readers out there)
Hey i'm not even from Hexbear and I've decided to adopt them 😘
Also about new pronouns, it might be pretty easy to remember them in English but goddamn Polish would be something else. And I've seen queer people make lists of all their pronouns and declinations, which is fucking based, but by god I would need a reference from every person I type to who uses neopronouns.
In writing it only is a slight incovienience but in talking it would destroy the flow of conversation unless I'm already familiar with said person. So good on you anglos only having 2 pronouns that need to be set.
EDIT: For those interested in our little shitshow, here have a wikipedia link lel:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_grammar#Pronouns
EDIT 2: You can also speak in Polish using a genderless passive way (don't know how to tranlate it properly) by refraining from using pronouns at all. Or I use other sentence steuctures as to avoid using pronouns. It sounds funny at best and unnatural at worst. I use it when talking to trans people in public, as to maintain their safety and give them proper respect by refusing to use wrong pronouns.
"Chciałbyś/Chciałabyś (already genered words have been used) napić się herbaty?"
Would you like to drink some tea?
"Może napilibyśmy się herbaty?"
How about we drink some tea? (We just specifiy that we are talking about us togerher)
"Przydałoby się wypić trochę herbaty."
I/We should drink some tea. (EDIT 3: After a bit of thinking I came to a realization that this sentence can refer to ourselves alone or us with the other person, but it depends on the context to know whether plural or singular is emphasized.)
"Wypiłoby się herbaty?"
Would we/you drink tea? (In this sentence we completely omit not only the gender. But also the singluar and plural. But we also give context that we don't talk about ourselves alone by making this a question. The only uncertain thing is wether we talk about us together or them alone)
EDIT 4: The better translation of the above sentence would be "Should/Would tea be drank?" because now I remembered that the formal way to call this type of talking is passive personless. (Bierny bezosobowy)
Polish is funky.
Polish can also use a third pronoun that is rather rarely used nowadays.
Ono, which is genderless or shares male declinations. Most often used for children and animals so many people find it dehumanizing or just insulting. But it's so rare I've never really heard anyone use it...
Yes, but a bit more broad I'd say. But that's rather vauge... Don't know how to explain it really.
Yea I’m pretty sure they only made 她 because westerners’ lil brainettes couldn’t handle not thinking about someone’s genitals as soon as they’re referred to in passing
Essentially western influence with gendered pronouns was likely a reason
Róża my beloved... You know what. Fuck it! I'll show off!
These prints are from 2008, you will not find any Marx or Engles or anyone else have prints after 1989. And yet these exist. I snatched them up instantly.
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No clue, just chaned my display name and it works fine!
Sorry I can't help much.
The way out pronoun tags are federated is just by appending them to your display name. Before the update they were a totally different system, but now you can emulate it by hand
Our instance just does that for you with a dropdown
EDIT: For those interested in our little shitshow, here have a wikipedia link lel:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_grammar#Pronouns
Holly shit, it's actually worst than french 💀
I'm still waiting on the gender-neutral pronoun of sir or ma'am so I can tip my ten-gallon hat at friendly enbies
Makes me think of those polls where people think that like 30% of America is trans. Don't like 1% or so of trans people use neopronouns?
From my sample size all of my friends and most of the people I meet are trans because of social things I attend, and I've only met one person in real life who uses neopronouns. Really cool ze/zir.
The only one I've run into is they/them and they're not even that upset when people slip up. Just don't like when people slip up and refuse to at least try.
Wild, I feel like one out of every three people I know irl uses they/them
I do live in the south and am not really part of any big LGBT community irl. The local leftist orgs tend to have a higher concentration, but I was just talking about people who I personally am close with.
There are a good amount of trans people I know, but they tend to use gendered pronouns
We have a local group of old lesbians here that drive around main Street in their trucks at the end of each pride month honking horns and flying flags and are generally well received. We also have one of the gayest downtown service industries in the region and I love it
It's awesome that the local biker bar employs a trans comedian and none of the chuds out here care, they all love her lol
Definitely a weird dichotomy to live in. The intersection of small southern town hospitality and general latent conservatism with very progressive and similarly friendly leftist folk. We've got it good out here for now, especially because we can openly discuss communism and unionization everywhere and no one bats an eye.
It's definitely way more tolerable than other places. There's still issues with chuds, but they tend to avoid the town center and focus on huffing each others farts and fumes in strip mall parking lots about 10 miles outside of town
Left friendly small town sounds like the perfect place, particularly if the chuds are too scared to go try to stir shit up in the town center. Enjoy it!
I had a student a couple of years ago use it/her which was a genuinely tough one to get used to saying. As with most people, though, it was very nice and understanding as long as you made an effort.
"it" is the one that I have real reservations about, not because of the individual using it, but because it's very much a slur leveled against trans people and queer people generally. I'd be extremely uncomfortable addressing someone as "it" in public bc to any passerby it would probably sound exactly like a big white cis guy using slurs against queer people. I guess I'll just have to deal with it, but I really hope folks will step in to defend me if that admittedly very unlikely situation ever comes up.
Yep, that was exactly my hang-up too--talking that way felt dehumanizing. It was a great opportunity for some self-crit, though, and eventually I came to the conclusion that it isn't my job or place to decide what is and isn't dehumanizing to another human, and that my discomfort with saying it was all on me, not the person. If that's what someone genuinely wants to be called, and feels validated and seen by others using that language, then fuck my own personal reservations about it.
ive met 1 person irl that uses neopronouns at our lgbt community center, I've met maybe 1000+ trans people there because they come to ask us for healthcare providers a lot. we have a sticker printing machine so they can get neopronoun stickers, and its only ever been used that one time
tbh i think a lot of people think it might be too burdensome to use neopronouns in a casual context, so they self censor it and default to they/them which everyone knows how to use.
concerned about new pronouns? think it's unfair to have to learn new pronouns??
bestie we've dealt with this near-site breaking struggle sessions before and won, so gl with that
NGL I was mildly against the pronoun thing when it started, but I was humble enough not to get involved in the struggle sessions. So literally thanks to Hexbear posters for putting me on the right side of history.
I had a moment of "I'm not sure I want to be obviously female on the internet," then I remembered I chose a feminine username and realized I was being real dumb. Also it's Hexbear, so misogyny just isn't a problem anyway.
My stance on the pronouns was always:
- I have nothing to gain if these aren't added, and lose nothing if they are
- Queer comrades gain wider acceptance if they are, and a more inclusive environment is a better environment
Seemed like a pretty easy choice
I wasn't really against it, but I didn't set my pronouns at first because I didn't think I should call attention to myself as a cis guy, but TC69 wrote an effort post mentioning that people like me setting pronouns normalizes pronouns. So I did and pronouns are good. It's nice to know how to refer to people.
I feel the same way. Originally i was sort of ambivalent, because it frankly didn't matter to me, but it really makes it a lot easier when you're talking to someone and it didn't seem like much trouble to go through.
Yeah which is why it bothers me whenever a company or website adds pronoun visibility many people cry 'woke' and I'm like... pronouns exist in almost every language. What are you freaking out about? We are all anonymously online, the pronouns help natural language flow when talking online.
I mean the very word "pronoun" has taken on a life of its own, to the point where english teachers in America are afraid to teach basic grammar, because hearing "today we are going to learn about pronouns" activates all the moronic sleeper agents.
Uhhh, actually, if you have pronoun tags that means you’re a bot, it’s just logical.
Cool, good on you <3, just FYI, for some reason the [any] doesn't show up on hexbear for me, but it does seem to show up on your instance, idk why
I dunno, just sorta worked when I changed it, same instance. Maybe it takes time to federate or something?
It shows up on your account page, will probably just take a bit to propagate
No pronouns (none/use name) is an option if that's more your vibe.
I have a couple of name tags with my pronouns for exactly that reason.
Yeah, i'm wearing she / her pronoun tags on my handbag in spite of being a binary trans woman and mostly getting gendered correctly, i just want to normalize this out of love and respect for my nonbinary and non-passing comrades.
I always wear my trans pride pin and pronoun pin on my scrubs! Most people don't know what they mean lol, even the she/her one. But I'm sure it means a lot to the few people it does. I'm like the only trans person on staff in the hospital I'm at, I swear.
Today i saw a guy from midwest.social claim that
CW: transphobia, world's most clueless cissie
we must be Russian bots because we have so many different pronouns. I'd link to the comment, but it has obviously been removed by the mods for the transphobia. I still can't get over how much of a cisdude shitfest your surroundings must be that it throws you off when the people replying to you have exotic pronouns like "he/him" and "she/her" - these were literally two of his examples, the others being "they /them" and "none / use name" and a grand total of one actual neopronoun. Made that dipshit think that our botnet "sets pronouns to shuffle", as if that would result in something as tame as the selction of pronouns he's given.
screenshot (cw: transphobia)
“Any tankie space would obviously be like 98% he/him neckbeards only.”
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such a complete dingus, you can tell he's never consciously talked to a trans person in their entire life, has no idea what trans spaces look like, has no bloody clue how radicalizing it is to grow up as trans in our society and how absurdly large the number of trans anarchists and communists is or how much we concentrate in the few spaces that actually care for our safety. i actually kinda pitty them for that.
Yes, at one point they admitted “I’ve never met a trans person” which 1, you definitely have but you’re off-putting enough that no one trusts you, and 2, that was obvious from the other comments. Sad.
i did an informal poll of our irl lgbt community that has hundreds of visitors each month and determined that trans people in my area (a fairly rural area with a somewhat large city near it) are 90% socialist. the rest were largely right wing libertarians, and usually were older people transitioning later in life. only around 5% said they didnt care for politics / didnt think about it at all.
obviously this is not conclusive for trans people at large, but its a pretty big sampling
Yeah, being trans is radicalizing as hell. You get to experience how awful even (and especially) libs can be, how fake and performative the supposed allyship of some people is, you also learn the importance of community and solidarity and how kind and welcoming others can be, how much capacity for love and care humans have when their heart is in the right place. And maybe you already need a certain radicalism to come out, it always seemed like a revolutionary act to me to put on makeup and a dress when i wasn't passing at all and go out there trampling on people's ideas of how gender works. Or to take these chemicals and hack my body chemistry, get myself blasted with lasers, prepare to be cut up and put together in new ways, overthrow unlivable material conditions and replace them with better ones that actually fit my needs. What's more communist than turning your own body into the laboratory of revolution?
That midwest user needs to touch grass and give the social a break IMO. Why allow yourself to get that worked up over pronouns?
Do they think Blahaj is a botnet too?
Blåhaj is a botnet run by Big Shark to market plush huggables because they get a cut and spend it on shark drugs.
There are some fish that are like sharknip, cocaine, and meth mostly.
According to Hird, this powder is known to trigger a dopamine hit in the shark’s brain.
the cocaine suppressed their movements. “You’d think that a shark on cocaine is going to be swimming around all over the place at 1,000 miles an hour,” Hird says. “But that is us taking our human brains and putting it into the shark’s head.”
recent research illustrates that aquatic animals can involuntarily fall under the influence of narcotics. In 2021 a team studying the impact of methamphetamine pollution […] found that in the lab, the fish appeared to become hooked by only small amounts of meth in the water. They even exhibited signs of withdrawal when moved to a new tank.
the cocaine suppressed their movements. “You’d think that a shark on cocaine is going to be swimming around all over the place at 1,000 miles an hour,” Hird says. “But that is us taking our human brains and putting it into the shark’s head.”
A normal person would interpret a wide variety of pronouns as evidence of a community that encouraged trans people to feel comfortable
Instead we're a James Bond plot
Capitalist Russia, famous for being tolerant of trans people and neopronouns
"pronoun parade" lmao yeah fuck-o we do in fact have parades..
It was one of our first struggle sessions. It didn't kill unfederated Hexbear, did they think it would kill us?
in fact, it birthed the community we've all come to love. what other space on the internet is so radically intolerant to bigotry?
I've been training myself through deliberate use to use they/them whenever there's any ambiguity. It's almost completely effortless now. Rarely do I have to think about it consciously.
I now default to she/her. Don't like being misgendered, gamers? Set your pronouns
Redditors don't care about respecting pronouns until it's theirs on the line
That's a pretty interesting idea. I'm gonna think about that and might adopt your practice.
just be careful not to do it when there isn't ambiguity - getting they/them sent my way makes my skin itch.
Yeah, definitely wouldn't misgender if it's clearly stated. Thanks!
I just love your pronoun support. It's great to see both the serious ones and the joke ones. Both for the solidarity with our brothers/sisters/niblings and as a quick visual cue that a comment thread is gonna get interesting in a way that isn't supporting bigotry :D
There are no joke pronoun options on Hexbear. We took a hard stance early that the pronoun tags are serious, without any of our normal silliness.
My pronouns must be repeated TWICE because i EXUDE RAW MASCULINITY
Even better. Clearly I misinterpreted some that I've seen. Rock on.
I think that's someone on main lemmy or grad who just has CPC bot in square brackets after their name in chinese characters
Manually adding pronouns by customising your display name in settings is something everyone can do on any instance. The difference being it’s mandatory here. Feel free to add your own and join in.
I was not aware of that. Thanks! Hopefully that worked.
You are welcome! The change has worked on your home instance. Takes time for the change to federate to other instances but it should show up in a wee bit.
The closest to a joke option is "comrade / them", but even that is something you can use in a normal conversation on here, comrade actually works surprisingly well as a gender-neutral pronoun in a leftist space. We deliberately decided against allowing to enter your own pronouns because we didn't want chud trolls to make their "my pronouns are fuck / you" jokes when they wander in, and as a result, we had to make a very inclusive list of neopronouns to not leave any serious wishes for pronouns out. Back then, we also purged a substantial part of our userbase when the pronoun discussion made them let their mask slip. I think we're better off for it, hexbear was actually the first site where i dared to set my pronouns to she / her when i was still halfway questioning and i love that i immediately know how i can adress anybody i interact with on here. even on trans discord servers, i often have to first click on people's bio to see that.
hexbear was actually the first site where i dared to set my pronouns to she / her
That's kinda beautiful. Thanks for sharing that and the Hexbear background.
it was kinda wild how long i was on here telling all my trans comrades "wow, somehow what you say reminds me so much of my experiences, even though i'm not trans at all" lol. but still, it helped a lot to have a space were being trans and playing around with your pronoun tags is something that's just normal.
That's really awesome. While I'm cis-(mostly)het, I'm close to several trans people in my life, some of whom have had significant struggles because of their gender. Hearing about such tools for self-exploration and acceptance is wonderful and you Hexbears continue to make my heart happy since federating.
It's such a simple tool and it does so much for people who want to explore their gender or who don't (yet) pass well enough to get gendered correctly or who basically never get gendered correctly because almost nobody just assumes you're enbie. It just instantly creates a space where everybody only knows you as your true self. I hope that other instances reach out to our devs and implement the tag system as well.
Honestly, I had to look up the most accepted term a month or two back because I didn't want to exclude non-binary folk when discussing human unity.
To be clear, from what I understand, "niblings" is gender neutral for niece/nephew, not brother/sister (which is just the regular word "siblings" you already know). There could be some disagreement about that. But I call the young person with DID of various genders who I have adopted as e-family my "niblings". I knew the term before because I just wanted to know what the gender neutral for that was.
Huh. Interesting. I had found it as a similar tier of relation to gender terms for sibling. But now that you mention it I think I recall that usage from before. This has made sense as it seems a mutation of sibling + nb, in a similar manner to enby.
The term "sibling" itself doesn't seem quite specific enough to me in such usage as while it is gender-neutral, it does so by being extremely general and passive, while my intent would be to affirmatively communicate those of a sibling-tier relation who identify as non-binary genders not linguistically accounted for or acknowledged in recent history.
Love the pronouns.
Wish they weren't a hyperlink. Tired as hell of accidentally tapping them instead of the upbear, can the upbear be moved to the right of the time poster maybe?
It's on the left of the screen on mobile, it's way more comfortable to try and tap the bear when you're one-handing anyways
you are now in the top .1% of men
