her,,, expolde
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You mean you quit rather than torture yourself? So often do I quit doing things way after I should or it hurts. Whether it’s something socially regrettable I will later regret, or exercise until I collapse, or just forcing myself through a book.
The main thing that makes me less monotropic than others is that I’m anxious and conscious enough of time to rarely hyperfocus or forget about my needs (though I will be incapable of fulfilling them because they are demands).
Uh yeah more or less! I also really internalised "you can come back to this", so getting interrupted wasn't like the death knell.
Don't do the socially regrettable thing :/
Uh I guess by literally leaving things as they are a lot of the time, like if I have something laid out on my desk I'll just leave it there and come back later. Also my wife is the only one who can pull me away from projects tbh.
do you struggle with the mental bit, though? like you're worried that all the thoughts and ideas you weren't able to write down will be gone if you leave it alone and come back later? or is it just being like "whatever" to that?
(oh my god i'm at work (home) switching my attention 4 ways at the moment, sorry if words aren't making sense, i really shouldn't be trying to have multiple conversations at the same time)
You are okay, no big
Uh I write stuff down if required, but often looking at the state of whatever I left behind will jog my brain about what I was doing. I do also take notes sometimes, or write down what I wanna do today.
i will try it all and report back! thank you
Fr, if I have a thought it must come out of me or else I will anxiously repeat it. If I have motivation to do a specific thing I must expend it for that state is transient and I might forget about it.
Yeah, I can’t stand other people forcing me to switch activities, but I’m fine leaving something behind of my own volition sometimes. For example I like finding articles among my mass of tabs that I’ve started because it seems less daunting.
It’s more than one thing I do from time to time :(
Also I edited
To be fair other people are DESERVING OF DEATH
for forcing you to switch. Being able to leave stuff yourself is a good habit tho.
this tbh, my partner trying to get me to eat or go to bed at a reasonable time is me-phobic
Your partner cares about u tho :/ Like if ur partner isn't a fuckin normie they should be able to help with this imo.
yeah, i'm the one that makes the bedtimes, he is very nice about it, i just want to stay up all night and skip meals when i'm into something
i did have a 3:30 night last week playing vampire kissing simulator, that was a good time. was pretty out of it the next day, solved that with MORE WAYHAVEN. luckily i was on vacation.
Now that is really goddamn based
The clock is my nemesis but I cannot ignore it. ADHD assimilationist life hack: time anxiety/j I’m time blind but it’s not particularly crippling. Maybe more alarms would help, but I do wish for a pre-clock
Alarms do help me. I remember one time by brother was like "set an alarm to remind you" and I was like "its like 3 minutes. I won't forget that quickly". And then several hours later I remembered on my own! Win for me! /j (I probably was about to head to bed later than I should have and noticed my hamper was still on it so I wouldn't forget and I probably had to stay up like another hour waiting on laundry).
I just hyperfocused on my phone for a long time and then you reminded me my laundry’s been done but unfolded for days now, lol.
I wish I a had unfolded clothes in the dryer. Meant to do laundry afterwork last night, but forgot until I went to go to bed, thought I'd have time this morning, but woke up to my boss asking when I could make it into work...
ooooh free videos, i know what i'm watching tonight
I found YouTube links in your comment. Here are links to the same videos on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Link 1:
Link 2:
I quit if I'm not enjoying something, have little interest or feel I'm not getting anything out of it, but I can be engaged and hyperfocused if I do. I can engage with things I have little interest in but really depends on why I would get engaged in the first place. I always say what I mean, and I flat won't talk to someone I don't want to, I will verbally shut down if I feel that I don't want to talk.
I don't regret anything socially unless I upset someone by accident. Which I try to avoid. But I don't worry about what other people think.
I will not engage with things where I can lose track of time if I get engaged.
I've learned how to work around how my brain works.
Absolutely! Just like me fr.
I wouldn't be rude and just drop a conversation, I would take my leave. But I don't engage if I don't feel I need to talk. I only talk when I feel compelled to or when spoken to.
Ah, but I’m Pathological Demand Avoidant, so if I want to stop I can’t. I’m way too honest in some ways but I am also perpetually sarcastic and verbally impulsive. If someone wants me to talk and I really don’t want to (which is kind of rare?) I’m miserable.
Wish I knew what those were consistently because I spend a lot of time chasing those tunnels. It’s the time I forget my anxieties and understimulation. Today I’ve spent a lot of time reading about autism and stuff while sort of paying attention to my surroundings so my focus isn’t that narrow?
I would say it ain't happening and again flat out not engage lol If someone made demands of me they would be sorely disappointed, I am not a people pleaser, I don't need people to validate my existence. Very few bother with me or engage with me on any level to where I would want to bother with. I won't engage with anything that makes me miserable.
I know what I enjoy so if I don't want to lose my time I won't engage with those specific activities. Reading would be one where I can read a book in a day if I feel like it because it would be my sole focus. I can forget everything around me and be so focused I can't hear.
Ditto for the most part. My family has ADHD and can be very draining at times tho.
I can get into a flow at times, but to read a lot is a very intentional activity that can be difficult, and my ADHD gets mad I can’t finish things in two seconds or am at least a notably fast reader (I know hyperlingual people and I’m kinda normal speed). My surroundings mostly vanish when my thoughts and internal echolalia are particularly loud or if I’m on social media or something (my most frequent hyperfocus).
Yeah I can see how that could make things difficult.
I take my time in all things, but I can be fast at what I do too. Depends on the activity, I'm thorough in everything I do. I can disappear so to speak if I'm hyperfocused into something to where I don't hear anything else and need nudged out, can be annoying for me and anyone else so I try not to get too deep into my work.. I don't do social media, I do my own things.
I can’t stand slowness unless it’s in the form of rebellion or being fast otherwise stresses me out. My thoroughness depends on the mood.
null posts online
In seriousness my habits aren’t great but unless I’m really compulsive they do the job of helping me cope. I should read more, but that’s not as spoon fed.
I wouldn't say I'm slow, I just take my time. I understand the need to rush and such and how that can affect people needing to change topics or activities.
This is the only place I post online, before hexbear, 1 other server about a year ago on discord, about a 5 year gap to another server, and before that was probably around 2001 and those spaces are long gone lol
I just like doing my own thing and act on whim basically. Though I have routines I follow and I live with my wife so a lot would be around her too.
Same :3
for me it depends on the reading...
someone is making me read it? hell no, i can't even open the book (i couldn't finish college due to this...)
it's too cishet? uggh, i'll go super slowly
it's queer, involves vampires (apparently?)? 1.5 books per day
Real. Tho occasionally I can get into what I’m forced to read. I’m not reading anything on my own time unless it feels valuable. I’d probably enjoy it but most fiction doesn’t seem to have as much intellectual value, thus I can’t justify it against impatience. I was once the kid who the teacher had to tell “put away the book” to though.
i hope you don't mind me asking ... i think that the times i've enjoyed my life the most are the times i've lost track of time and gotten hyperfixated on something interesting. is that not your experience?
Oh I enjoy things but I'm aware that I can lose myself in things if I enjoy it and like to not disappear into them. So I restrict myself to some degree.
wait, i think i follow! sorry i missed "if I don't want to lose my time"
I tend to read a lot of naughty words too because of my dyslexia but sometimes I miss words too, don't worry about it ^^
i read this a while back https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/06/06/what-is-meerkat-mode-and-how-does-it-relate-to-audhd/
when I am at work i spent most of my time like this because i have so many people to deal with, i can't engage with things very deeply and i was feeling bad about it for a while. if i'm afraid i'm going to be interrupted (fuck Slack) then i won't be able to sink into that deep focus that i need to be productive, so i mostly stay on the surface except in rare situations.
it sucks tbh i miss writing code
edit: actually reading this again I think a better descriptor for my daily life is what Annie Kotowicz calls "flexible mode" i'll add a quote in a minute
edit 2: added quote from "What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic" by Annie Kotowicz (highly recommended, short-ish book imo)
Omg Ty. That sounds about right and I’ll check the further reading.
Have one task for work I do most months and it requires several hours and lots of cross-checking things and I can only meaningfully do it if in a more focus-mode. Which usually means I choose a single night and stay up really late working on it at home. Usually I work evenings, except during the summer, so its not an issue if I stay up til 6am. Except I'm also expected to do it right at the end of my summer schedule before transiting back to evening schedule... which means I just blow it off and do it late every year.